Cheating?

[ElectricSuperstar]

So I found out today (from my boyfriend) that he gave this kid (meaning an 18 year old) a hand job last night. I knew the kid was interested in him, as I he has made a pass on my boyfriend before, but he told me that he considered them just friends.

I know the kids suffered some unpleasantness recently (his friend tried to kill himself), but still...

I'm not sure how I feel about this or what to do.

 

[G-Lexington]

Is this a one-time thing?
Not only with this kid, but with anybody?
Is he going to be available for a handjob anytime this kid is feeling down?
Is it never going to progress beyond the hand-job stage?
And how do you feel about all this? Are you now given tacit approval to handjob who you see fit?

I'd say this is something you need to talk to your boyfriend about.

Lex

 

[3nipples]

A big plus that he told you about it immediately. I don't have a problem with a partner having very occasional sex on the side, as long as he tells me about it and doesn't do it often (and it doesn't interfere with our time together).

 

[colemanshs]

I'd be very mad and would consider it cheating. Kudos to him for letting you know about it but it could give that kid some hope that your bf is interested in him. Talk to him about it and let him know how you feel about it.

 

[rareboy]

Listen to Lex.

 

[racer2438]

the good thing is he told your right away.

but the bad is he should have known better and not touch him at all.

I would say that is cheating, but give him credit for telling you, so I would cut him some slack.

But I would also say you need to put your foot ASAP and tell him this is the FIRST AND LAST TIME YOU WILL DO THIS OR ELSE.

he disrespected you and your relationship--not good.

this kid needs to be told by him or you hands off and very firmly. Just by being friends it led to this, whats next??

try not to make a big issue or blow it out of proportion keep it simple and to the point but VERY FIRM AS TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

then have a good talk w/bf and tell him how and way this hurt you and tell him how it feels for him to have done that.

In my eyes once a cheater always a cheater.

KEEP YOUR EYES AND EARS OPEN ON THIS ONE....

 

[IHeartMarco]

Um hello, he gave someone a hand-job! That's definately cheating. Dump his ass now...

 

[ElectricSuperstar]

Thank you all for your responses, and sorry for my late response... work is always fun when your upset.

I have decided to err on the side of forgiveness (but not a pardon, he will still have to take responsibility for this), and follow Lex's, 3nipples and racer2438. He has expressed a lot of remorse over this, and has already agreed to stop speaking to the kid.

Because our work schedules don't leave us much time to talk face to face over the work week, we are going to be having a very long discussion on Friday about what is expected of each other in this relationship, what we want from the relationship, what the boundaries are, and what needs to be done to move forward.

Again, thank you all.

 

[theFallenGod]

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."

If you let him get away with it once theres a high likelihood he will do it again...

 

[IHeartMarco]

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me."

If you let him get away with it once theres a high likelihood he will do it again...

Exactly! I mean what kind of person gives a hand-job to someone to make them feel less depressed? I mean like WTF? Anyone who thinks someone like that is going to change is only kidding themselves. Also the fact that he did that to a "kid" is even more disturbing....