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cheating...

Brtyui

Brtyui

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crud... i didnt think i would have to make this thread ever but i guess that life.

our relationship has been going a little crap lately, my bf is allways expecting that i am up to no good. which i wasnt, i got realy tired of it and staying i wasn't up to anything, and then it acttually happened. i was in my mates office and we were chatting, he offered to charge my phone and we were just chatting about how dodgy the views from his work could get, it was really funny. then well we kinda just kissed... well the kiss lead to more things.. and i dunno

it was like a horrible nightmare which i could only describe as in slow motion.

... now i do have something to hide. i guess i got tired of him always accusing me that it happened ??

i have officially become my ex.
as my ex done the same thing to me.

what do i do now? i dont need told you so, cos guess what i already know it.
 
I would break up with your bf anyway. It doesn't sound like you have a decent relationship. The cheating thing will only play in your mind forever more and make things worse between you if you stay together.
 
I agree. You should probably end things with him. He didn't trust you before and he is definitely not going to trust you now. His lack of trust though is not to blame for your actions. You are. You are responsible for all your actions so don't put the blame all on him. You both played your parts in the demise of your relationship.
 
Your best bet is to not be in a relationship were there is no trust... clearly there is none here. End it with this one w/o telling him, wipe the slate clean and start over w/someone that you can have a meaningfull relationship with that starts with TRUST and communication.

Life is to short to have stress like this always on your/his mind.

Do each other a favor and part ways as nice as possible, and move on......and if you don't want this to happen again to you ..then don't do it to others................
 
racer2438 said:
Life is to short to have stress like this always on your/his mind.

Do each other a favor and part ways as nice as possible, and move on......and if you don't want this to happen again to you ..then don't do it to others................
Click to expand...
Wise advice ..|
 
I cheated on my boyfriend once with a friend while intoxicated (I didn't actually know the friend was gay...hmmm). I told him after two days, straight up. I said it was wrong, and told him it didn't mean that I didn't love him and that I do find him sexually attractive (He knew this anyway, he gives me an "insta-boner" ahahah), and it was probably due to us not being intimate enough due to stress and work patterns.

I told him that I wanted to stay with him and he forgave me, he knew the guy too and actually fancied him a bit (And jokingly said "Oohh, I'm jealous") and it's forgotten for the most part. He knows what kind of person I am, I cannot lie...I've kissed someone before and told him straight away, heck I can't even lie about how much I spent on a pair of jeans or something if we're sposed to be saving money, lol.

Just be open, honest, and respectful.
 
Yeah, don't make excuses for cheating - it's not his fault, it's yours. But then again, he obviously didn't create an environment where you felt safe and welcome, so I wouldn't really commit ritual suicide from guilt either if I were you. Without trust, there is no real relationship, and if you aren't in a real relationship... eh...
 
My standard piece of advice to guys in relationships is to work on them unless they are in danger. It's too easy to be glib and say end your relationship. In my opinion you too long allowed his, "I don't trust you" bullshit.

You chose to have a hook up and keeping it secret will only tempt you to repeat the behavior. If you and your partner aren't able to put all the cards on the table you ought to break up. If you need help putting them on the table, or dealing with them once there, seek couples counseling. Relationship problems have a way of following you to the next relationship.
 
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