Closeted, confused and complicated!!!

[Blueboy369]

Ask him if he wants to see a movie, maybe spiderman? Have a couple of beers after and just enjoy eachothers company. It sounds like you've made a new friend. If it goes to the next level, cool. Just let things happen naturally. Don't over think things. There is nothing wrong with you mentioning that your "curious" about guys. he confided in you, you can confide in him.

 

[Boogerqueesha]

Tell him who you are.
Tell him you're gay. He probably already suspects.

Then, tell him how you feel.
That you like him, but you don't want to mess up his relationship.

The rest is up to him.

 

[jockboy01]

First off, I'd bet he knows about you. He's just waiting for you to tell him. Especially with the internal conflict comment you made... any gay guy knows exactly what that means. But he's being cool about it and will wait until you are ready to tell him.

Second, as to having a relationship with him. There will be those that disagree with me here, but I think the physical relationship should come later. I'd say tell him that you're gay or bi or even just that you're conflicted. You should get that on the table first. Starting a physical relationship at this time is only going to end badly imo. Get things sorted out with who you are first and what you want. Then you can get to know him and really be completely honest. From there, just see how things go. If you guys get closer, great! If it ends up being just a great friendship, awesome! But at least this way you won't lose in a friend for a quick roll in the hay.

So tell him your feelings about guys. Don't tell him you want to jump him. Don't directly tell him you like him. See how things go. That's my answer.

Oh, and most importantly, welcome to JUB. This place is great and full of great (and occasionally, not so great) advice.

 

[chobbs]

well said guys.

man, i know you are confused, but there is no need to worry about this. what is supposed to happen will happen. if you think you are ready, you should tell him that you are attracted to him. as you are concerned with his current relationship, you shouldn't keep that from him either.

if you tell it like it is you aren't doing anything wrong.

good luck, i hope it all works out how you want it to.

 

[nsguy2]

Your friend could be one the many on JUB saying, " I have this friend who I suspect might be gay. He never talks about his sexuallity and just went through a divorce", etc, etc.

One of the more popular responses from other JUB members to the above statement is to tell him that you're gay and see what he says. Well, he has obviously taken that step with you.

He seems like a nice enough guy so if you need someone to talk to about your situation, maybe he's the one.

Even if things don't work out romantically, you still may make a good friend and having a friend who understands your situation is important. I know it certainly would've helped me when I was trying to figure out some stuff.

Good luck and keep us updated.

 

[slobone]

Yes, I certainly think you should tell him. It will probably be pretty easy -- sounds like he's figured it out already.

But didn't you say he was in a relationship? You might want to include that in your thoughts about whether you want to get involved with him. At a minimum it will complicate things a lot -- maybe not such a good idea for your first experience.

Either he wants to stay faithful to his boyfriend, in which case he'll tell you so, and it won't go any further. That's the easy option.

The hard option, for you, is if he wants you to be a convenient local "squeeze" while his boyfriend's away. You need to decide whether that's acceptable to you.

I'm not making any moral judgments here -- just pointing out that you might want to think things through before you go any further with him, rather than after.

 

[Boogerqueesha]

At the same time a part of me is really sad. I really do like him alot...

Such is life. If he knows you like him, he knows you like him. I'd say, just drop all pursuit of anything beyond friendship. If anything ever happens, it should be by his decision.

You might grow to appreciate it, though- a friend who isn't trying to get into your pants, is a precious thing. Support, without ulterior motives

Congratulations! It was a big step to take, and I think it will serve you well.

 

[RukkuS]

from the details you have told me...he knows your bi. Or suspects it.

Do you know if his relationship with a guy is real? Does the guy really exist or was it just his way of coming out to you?