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Clueless tops?

S

somedude987

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I'm a bottom and I've only been with guys twice, but both times it seemed like I was always having to tell either of them not to be... well... an idiot. They were both quite tipsy (as was I), but it was kinda like they didn't know what they were doing. This is weird for me since I've only been with two guys and *I* was having to "handle the situation" when I don't even like being the one in charge. They came on very strong, but then when we're fooling around it's like their sexual IQ drops 50 points. Am I too demanding or insensitive? Or are they insensitive and just that stupid? I mean, giving a blowjob is fun for a while especially when you haven't really done it, but when he's not getting hard but still wants me to keep going (forever apparently)... or when he's trying to get his finger in my ass without using lube... or when he's only semi-hard and says he wants to fuck me and tries but doesn't even *realize* he's not getting it in #-o... Obviously I'm hoping for something better, but I'm wondering how common this "clueless top" thing is so I can recognize the signs better and say "Oh, I see... ehmmm this isn't going to work, see ya later!" It's like I definitely know what it's like not to have very much experience, so it's ok if he doesn't, but it's like these guys had these ideas in their head that didn't match reality, and then didn't try to improvise or anything. I want to have an experience where I'm nervous and excited and he's making it hot and sexy, instead of me yawning and having to have the attitude of "whatever floats your boat.. I can't do this all night" I know I will someday but is this par for the course or did I just find some duds?
 
I guess you need more experiences and less alcohol. The top has to be secure when meeting a demanding bottom. Insecurity deflates dick.
 
alcohol and drugs sorta ruin it

or at least lessen the likelihood for great sex

has been my experience anyway
 
If you want to experience hot sex, hire an experienced escort.
 
I know all about alcohol being an inhibiting factor, blah, blah.

But I want to chime in.

I think to a large degree tops are somewhat clueless.

They're trying to make the bottom like, crave, and enjoy something they've never experienced--how can they even know?

A lot of times they're clumsy. A lot of times selfish. It's often more about their pleasure than the bottom's.

Yeah, I think there are a lot of uneducated tops out there.
 
As a bottom, you are actually kinda in control.

Make sure you have lube if he doesn't. Even if you're not going to fuck him, you could always initiate some ass play with him in order that he gets a better idea of what feels good.

But lube is the key here. Even guys with semi hards can get a lot more out of the experience if their dick can slip in and out easily. A tight bottom can squeeze the life out of some guy's dicks.

Sometimes position is everything. Try different positions with your guy...something that will keep him excited and focussed.

And no booze. It kills it 9 times out of 10.
 
rareboy said:
As a bottom, you are actually kinda in control.

Make sure you have lube if he doesn't. Even if you're not going to fuck him, you could always initiate some ass play with him in order that he gets a better idea of what feels good.

But lube is the key here. Even guys with semi hards can get a lot more out of the experience if their dick can slip in and out easily. A tight bottom can squeeze the life out of some guy's dicks.

Sometimes position is everything. Try different positions with your guy...something that will keep him excited and focussed.

And no booze. It kills it 9 times out of 10.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you're an expert at this. Do you have pictures to illustrate these positions? :lol:
 
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