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co-worker...gay!

Dejajb

Dejajb

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Ok so i have this co-worker who is very fond of me. He says he's straight yet flirts with me all the time. Everyone has heard rumors of him so it came to no surprise when today we made out! lol...he asked me to nibble on his ear, so i did and then he did the same to me. Finally he was like whatever no one will know and kissed me! i was shocked but at the same time not surprised. He asked me not to tell anyone so I'm not going to (other than here of course!! lol)

why do gay/bi guys try to say they're straight when they're not?

just wanted to vent a litte :)
 
Of course he's straight. Right.

Just like a whole bunch of guys on this site are 'bi-sexual' or 'curious'.

Don't fuck around with co-workers.
 
There used to be legitimate reasons to be in the closet.

Nowadays, not so much.
 
He can call himself what he likes afterall he needs to be comfortable until he chooses to be happy about it. Their are also very legitimate reasons why you would not tell anyone if your gay if you live in certain areas and that is world wide.
 
Making out with coworkers- bad idea.

Making out with coworkers who claim to be straight - really bad idea.
 
The general acceptance of "Gay" is a pendulum that can swing back and forth. Right now we seem to be gaining a little more acceptance, but that can change (and quickly).
With the economy in such bad shape it would be wise not to jeopardize your job.
 
Lube said:
There used to be legitimate reasons to be in the closet.

Nowadays, not so much.
Click to expand...

Focusing on the U.S., specifically, there are still reasons that one can legitimately closeted. Sure, there are a few states that have legalized gay marriage, but in many states, if not most, a person can still be terminated from a job for being gay.

Some people do have strong ties to their families and friends. With that being said, it's not as easy for them to consider the possibility of having to cut ties with people they have a strong bond. Ideally, it should be easy for everyone, but that's just the reality.

Let's not forget that many humans have a need to be accepted. Again, homosexuality is gaining acceptance, but there's still room for more acceptance. Even if there were no other reason, people want to feel normal.

So, these issues may not be legitimate to you, but they are to others.
 
Many people have given reasons he may be in the closet due to where he lives or for his job, but I doubt those apply here. The OP lives and works in the same place and he is out. If the guy is flirting with an out gay guy, I doubt he's too worried about losing his job if someone finds out. My guess is that he's struggling with general coming out fears. They guy seems like he's taking some steps toward coming out. He probably just needs a little time.

As far as dating a co-worker, typically it's not a good idea. If things go wrong, you still have to work with the person and it often causes your other co-workers to pick sides. With that said, a lot of long term couples have started off as co-workers. You know your work environment, so you can decide if the risk is worth the reward.

Another warning, dating closeted guys can be very frustrating. They often worry that if they are seen with a gay guy, everyone will know that they are gay. You can't tell your friends and family who you are dating. You have to pretend to be just friends. You get the idea. Only you can decide if he is worth the added hassle.
 
I have no intention of outing him or anything. We are both cocktail waiters at a Restaurant in Southern California and he little contact with his family so I really don't know why he is still in the closet. I am totally out at work and everyone is very accepting.

When it comes to dating co-workers, at our job is a very common thing. Everyone is young (21-30) so having flings with one another is a common occurrence. However, I am not trying to date this guy, nor am I in love with this "straight" co-worker. A bunch of us went out drinking after work last night, and he had a few too many. To add to this is the fact that we were all at a gay bar.

It doesn't bother me that he is still in the closet, what does bother me is his constant distancing of "us." He constantly talking about pussy and how much he loves it and how much he gets it. So now he can't really say much haha.
 
Being out is overrated..what benefits do you have to being out @ work..I have 3 gay co-workers of various ages and yeah there treated differently from everybody else(weather or not you want to chalk it up to everybody being dumb or whatever the fact is there considered different and therefore shunned...why add that factor into a already stressful environment..I keep who I'm fucking in the bed room not on my chest.
 
Dejajb said:
It doesn't bother me that he is still in the closet, what does bother me is his constant distancing of "us." He constantly talking about pussy and how much he loves it and how much he gets it. So now he can't really say much haha.
Click to expand...
Well, that's kinda the price he has to pay for being closeted.

Well, OK, he doesn't have to throw it in your face like that. But that's where most closeted guys reveal themselves: they overcompensate. A really straight guy wouldn't feel a need to brag like that.
 
Sha-Rok said:
Being out is overrated..what benefits do you have to being out @ work
Click to expand...
You get to be yourself at work. No hiding. No changing names (or genders).

If you never talk about what you do in terms of dating (if you're young), surely everyone already suspects that you're gay. People are more savvy nowadays; you don't have to be a flamer for people to figure out you're gay.
 
Due to the fact that you are both waiters, congrats on being the first to 'Score' the fresh meat. Let's face it, in a few weeks he will be passed around more times than the appetizers at the bar.
 
does one need a reason to be closeted, nope. it's a pro-choice closetness country, deal with it :)

One thing any guy, gay or straight, forgets is that guys always think that anyone who is friendly or talks to them or interacts with them in any way wants them. Guys do this all the time. Just look for more concrete proof than your perception.
 
ok so I hadn't really updated this thread because I don't see him as straight anymore, and it doesn't bother me that he is still in the closet. We had sex. It was fun, he tried a lot of things. we both satisfied our urges. That's it. lol.
 
wow, I must have sped through your original posts cause, yeah, he's gay.

It does illustrate that the easiest way to see of a guy likes you is to make sure he knows you're gay. If he didn't know wouldn't have found out so easily and gotten action from him.

So if you're curious that someone is gay and you're in the closet, come out to the guy (don't necessarily tell him you like him) and if he likes you, he'll make a move.
 
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