cocky little straight boys

[thelaw18489]

My nephew is 13 going on 14. He dosn't know that I'm gay. He even makes fun of gay people and he told me he thinks that they all should get mass murdered. Anways, I was at a barbucue today at one of my sisters houses. Two of her four kids were with their biological dad, so it left the 14 year old as the only other person between the ages of 5 and 30 in the house. We started playing playstation 2 and he started talking all this smack and he was keep making fun of me calling me a "homo" because I was loosing to him. I took this in stride because most teen boys are cocky. But he decides that he wants to fight so he starts shoving me so I shove him back. Then out of nowhere he picks me up over his head and throws me backwards into his bed. I'm like 113 pounds so I'm not to heavy. But anyways, the rest of the day he insults me every chance he got and we were talking smack left and right. This boy has no dad so I'm like the only positive male figure in his life. So what do I do to handle this kid and how do I handle someone who talks allot of smack and constantly insults you (I talk smack but it dosn't help. So is there anyways to handle someone hows physically superior to you

 

[looseliam]

This behaviour signals that worse behavior is waiting down the road.

Have you had a talk with the mom?

WOuld this boy be receptive to an honest discussion about his actions?

 

[BearMagus]

He is probably picking up his homophobic language from his peers. My older brother was just like that for years. Finally one day he came up to me and asked if I were gay. I said yes. He just looked at me and then apologized for all of the years he said stupid, hateful things. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said a hunky Marine boy.

Your nephew could also be struggling with his own gay desires and turning anxiety and fear into aggression. If you're out to most of your family, come out to him. Tell him what you think and if he still has an attitude, smack him upside the head with something and knock some sense into him. You would be amazed at how many young people think "fags" exist somewhere besides their own family.

 

[midnight81]

Well first of all, stop talking smack. It brings you down to his level and makes you his peer, not his superior. You have to act more mature than him before you can be considered a role model to him, otherwise he won't respect your authority enough to follow your example. He has to see you as someone to look up, someone who either knows better or who has more experience than him in life or who has something worthwhile to say...otherwise, he's not going to listen to anything serious that you say to him.

If you want to be a positive role model in his life, you have to sometimes be tough with him when he's acting like a little asshole. There's a reason why they say you have to be a parent to your child and not a friend, and the same goes for role models. You can be friendly and have fun with him without pandering to his cocky little teen attitude.

Being the alpha male is about asserting your dominance and in human society, that doesn't always mean being the most physically imposing. It's all about attitude. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is to him and don't back down. You don't necessarily have to come out to him to do that if you're not comfortable with that yet. But don't put up with bullshit like that because otherwise you won't have a leg to stand on when you want to teach him how to properly act.

 

[G-Lexington]

You don't sound like a positive male role model. I mean, no offense to you, but if he's picking you up and throwing you around the room and calling you homo, well, it looks like you're not having much effect.

He's not your kid, and he doesn't appear interested in having you be a positive male role model in his life - unless that means calling you homo and kicking your ass. If you want to be that to him, go for it.

Lex

 

[tmb1]

This really has nothing to do with you being gay. You would(I hope) say something to him if he were saying the n word, so you should be saying something to him about the gay stuff too. It has taken alot to deal with this with my neices and nephews but it was better that they knew I was gay. That way they didn't become so brainwashed into believing that gay is "bad" that they would have a hard time changing their minds on that. My one nephew has known since he was six, has asked questions about it and our family has tried to teach him not to use the words gay and fag like kids do. Now not to say he doesn't sometimes use those words(by the way he is fourteen now), but he has apologized to me for it and actually has defended gays to his friends(hes a strong minded little shit, LOL) I just think honesty with kids is always most important, they pick up on things and if you aren't honest with them now they have trouble really believing you when you say it when they are closer to adulthood.

 

[DON55]

Put on some weight and kick his ass, ya wuss!

 

[thelaw18489]

thnks fo all your help. I still would appreciate more oppionions about the matter. You helped me shine light on the situation and I decided that I need to pull back and not be alone with him. And Don I don't appriaciate being called a wuss for no real reason at all.

 

[EvilForce]

thnks fo all your help. I still would appreciate more oppionions about the matter. You helped me shine light on the situation and I decided that I need to pull back and not be alone with him. And Don I don't appriaciate being called a wuss for no real reason at all.

Please. He's screaming out that he's gay, but can't handle being gay himself.

Stop trying to play to his level, he's obviously very insecure. He needs someone to love him. He's so damn afraid of being gay himself he has to put on this straight, macho, schtick.

 

[racer2438]

when you started talking "smack" back to him you lowered your self to a child level and walk right into his game that he controled.

If your the male figure he has, then you need some schooling on how to be the adult and control the respect the a adult should be shown.

This talking crap he does is alot of peer pressure he learns at school.

It's up to you and his mother to correct him and teach him what id reight and wrong about what he is doing. If left unchecked this could evolve into much worst behavior.

Thois kid needs to be corrected now and talked about what is right and wrong.

 

[Giovanni]

The kid's not gay, that's normal behavior among some teens. He probably learned to call stuff gay from his friends.

Unless he calls every single thing he dislikes "gay" like one of my friends. Then I'd think he's a closet case.

 

[thelaw18489]

You should come out to your family. How can you expect them to respect you, if you don´t respect yourself enough to tell people the truth about who you are?

I'm out to my parents not my sisters or the rest of my family. My sisters are jelous of me and they hate me so I will rather not give them any amo so I don't let them know anything about my personal life. As for the rest of my family (aunts uncles and cousins) I'm not telling them cause they can give two shits about me because I don't fell it's necary to tell a bunch of bigots that will take shots at you that your gay because why should people who don't care if you die know.

 

[rareboy]

Well first of all, stop talking smack. It brings you down to his level and makes you his peer, not his superior. You have to act more mature than him before you can be considered a role model to him, otherwise he won't respect your authority enough to follow your example. He has to see you as someone to look up, someone who either knows better or who has more experience than him in life or who has something worthwhile to say...otherwise, he's not going to listen to anything serious that you say to him.

If you want to be a positive role model in his life, you have to sometimes be tough with him when he's acting like a little asshole. There's a reason why they say you have to be a parent to your child and not a friend, and the same goes for role models. You can be friendly and have fun with him without pandering to his cocky little teen attitude.

Being the alpha male is about asserting your dominance and in human society, that doesn't always mean being the most physically imposing. It's all about attitude. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is to him and don't back down. You don't necessarily have to come out to him to do that if you're not comfortable with that yet. But don't put up with bullshit like that because otherwise you won't have a leg to stand on when you want to teach him how to properly act.

Read this again.

Tell him you are gay and that his behaviour is simply not acceptable.

 

[texan_slant]

I agree with everyone here. To be a positive role model, set some boundaries and draw the line - not through anger, but by sitting him down and telling it like it is. That is how you will earn his respect.

 

[drhladnjak]

I'm out to my parents not my sisters or the rest of my family. My sisters are jelous of me and they hate me so I will rather not give them any amo so I don't let them know anything about my personal life. As for the rest of my family (aunts uncles and cousins) I'm not telling them cause they can give two shits about me because I don't fell it's necary to tell a bunch of bigots that will take shots at you that your gay because why should people who don't care if you die know.

Sounds like you really have nothing to lose then. I mean if your sisters already hate you and your relatives already don't care about you, why keep living a lie? In some ways, it even sounds like it might be a big "fuck you" to them if you came out.

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

Kid's suck. The Goonies, 198something.

 

[Telstra]

a messed up family with no house rules.

 

[RightWingHomo]

Don got it exactly right. Beat his ass, then taunt him about how he got one-upped by a fag ;-)

 

[bokan800]

Give him a taste of his own medicine.

 

[CSI_3Stokes]

Oooohhhh controversialness. Is he hot? Is he related? Don't touch with a 10 ft clown pole.