Codependency: Can it really take over someone's life?

[RomanticRylan]

Being codependent, I have found, is probably the worst thing ever. I find I get so attached and obsessed with one person, the whole world doesn't matter. I plan around the other person to accommodate when I will be able to spend time with them, or him for that matter. The thought of the other person is always somewhere in my head. Is this normal? Obviously it's not completely healthy, but does anyone else feel they have a codependent personality, too? It seems like relationships are so easy for everyone else. How can someone like me get over this?

 

[klbaud]

I have this problem too, but that's only if that person really matters to me. But I think it's perfectly normal, and it does cause problems though--you can either come off as clingy or too attached.

 

[paramedic_861]

I too am like this.....If I really care for that person I want to be with them at all times, etc. I guess it does come off as clingy also..But for a person that deals with death and dying and being around the sick and injured daily you never know when that might be the last time you get to spend with that person..Heck I have in the last several days almost not came back home from work.....So I also thinks it normal...

 

[Mirage]

That's funny. It's like I'm answering my own problem.

I've got the same issue as you have. When I'm not around someone I deeply love I feel incomplete and miserable. If I'm near him or her all problems are gone and I can't think clear.

The solution for me was to get a balance between getting together and away for eachother. When you found that balance, you can change bit by bit untill you can do anything you want to do normaly without any problems.

At first you'll have a hard time, but eventualy it'll work. And may the Force be with you in your struggle of feelings. (Sorry I watched StarWars last night.)

@ paramedic_861: I hope you get better soon.

 

[rareboy]

How can someone like me get over this?

I would suggest with professional help.

Because just telling you to snap out of it isn't going to change a lifetime of behaviour.

Understanding the physiological and psychological causes and effects of this may help you become an emotionally and mentally healthy adult.

 

[maxpowr9]

codependency doesn't even have to be a romantic relationship either. recently my hag left me (of 3 years) because of our codependent relationship. It was cold turkey also. The last message was "lets get some beers on monday (It was friday)" I responded like I normally would and I haven't heard from her in over a month now. I tried contacting her to see whats up (we told eachother EVERYTHING) and after a week, I stopped.

The first two weeks were unbearable and I got really depressed. My other friends had to pick me up and get me out and moving again. I do still miss her and wonder what happened but life goes on and eventually so can yours.

 

[TX-Beau]

...I do still miss her and wonder what happened but life goes on and eventually so can yours.

She finally figured out she was never gonna turn you straight. (grin)

 

[thisisinteresting]

You need to be on your own and find your own way of obtaining energy that isn't from the attention of others.

 

[CudDULL]

I'm actually the complete opposite. When I like someone I don't get attached to them and I always give them space. They are usually the ones that initiate feelings first and then I just reciprocate. I don't like to cling to them, it makes me feel dependent, hence being codependent...

I usually start disliking a guy if he gets too attached to me and doesn't give me space.