College Dating

[lostnfound]

Here's the deal: I'm a senior in college and I met this guy online (Manhunt). He made the first move online and we basically talked on AIM for about a week and a half. Turns out that he's a sophomore at my college. At first, we both acknowledged our attraction to each other and then began to have friendly conversations on AIM. We finally met each other last night, and went to see a movie (we payed for our own tickets). After the movie, I walked him back to his neighborhood and we ended the night with a hug.

Now, I am fairly inexperienced with the whole dating thing. I think I'm beginning to have a crush on him. Last night, we talked about our families, goals, interesting stories about ourselves etc. It wasn't shallow, nor was it emotionally deep. I guess you could say the conversation was fine for our first get-together.

Anyways, I want to let him know how I feel. Any advice? I'm afraid that I was pretty nervous last night, so I might've seemed awkward. Also, was it bad that we got our own tickets? I feel like because that happened, he assumed that I wanted to be just friends.

I'm thinking about IM-ing or texting him tonight to say, "Thanks for last night," or something like that.

Any advice is much appreciated!

 

[lostnfound]

Another thing: He's told me that it's sad that I will be graduating soon, thus, I assume he doesn't want to pursue anything with me because of the little time that's remaining.

I want to tell him anyway, but is it too soon?? We've gone out once, and I hope that we'll have a second date, so should I let him know then?

 

[LoveIsNow]

Texting him would be fine. A follow up call, text, IM, email, or what have you, if you enjoyed the date, within the next couple of days after a date is perfectly appropriate and most polite. If you really liked it, calling tonight is fine, and, as long as you avoid being too eager or sending flowers or something, isn't too forward.

As far as going Dutch, that's fine for a first date, or first few dates. If you start to see each other a bit more often, and you want to show him your interest, you can offer to pay. Just watch that he isn't a deadbeat and sticks you with the bill all the time.

Just try not to go too fast, but don't worry about it too much and be too nervous either.

As for your graduating, that could be a problem, but if you want to pursue something, you should talk it out with him. Are you leaving town after you graduate?

 

[Coffee]

Here's the deal: I'm a senior in college and I met this guy online (Manhunt). He made the first move online and we basically talked on AIM for about a week and a half. Turns out that he's a sophomore at my college. At first, we both acknowledged our attraction to each other and then began to have friendly conversations on AIM. We finally met each other last night, and went to see a movie (we payed for our own tickets). After the movie, I walked him back to his neighborhood and we ended the night with a hug.

Now, I am fairly inexperienced with the whole dating thing. I think I'm beginning to have a crush on him. Last night, we talked about our families, goals, interesting stories about ourselves etc. It wasn't shallow, nor was it emotionally deep. I guess you could say the conversation was fine for our first get-together.

Anyways, I want to let him know how I feel. Any advice? I'm afraid that I was pretty nervous last night, so I might've seemed awkward. Also, was it bad that we got our own tickets? I feel like because that happened, he assumed that I wanted to be just friends.

I'm thinking about IM-ing or texting him tonight to say, "Thanks for last night," or something like that.

Any advice is much appreciated!

a nervous guy is kinda cute, because it's true feeling , just take things naturally. it'll be fine. good luck

 

[Seasoned]

Ask him out and pay for the next date.

 

[slickery]

Just send him a message saying you had a good time and would like to do it again.

No need to sweat the big stuff such as graduation, the future, or whether or not he likes. Just go for it, life's too short to be timid when you meet someone you genuenely like.

 

[lostnfound]

Okay, I sent him a text last night. I basically said I had a nice time with him and I hope he had a nice day.

He replied with a short, "Aww thanks."

When should I ask for a second date? I agree, I don't want to seem obsessive so soon.

 

[spencer]

I think if there's an event or something you have planned on doing, you could invite him along. like the event came first and you went over in your head who you might take, scanned all of them, and picked him.

sounds so far so good. good luck!

 

[LoveIsNow]

I think if there's an event or something you have planned on doing, you could invite him along. like the event came first and you went over in your head who you might take, scanned all of them, and picked him.

Yeah, just whenever you think of something to take him to. Don't worry too much and be cool about it.

 

[rareboy]

Okay, I sent him a text last night. I basically said I had a nice time with him and I hope he had a nice day.

He replied with a short, "Aww thanks."

When should I ask for a second date? I agree, I don't want to seem obsessive so soon.

What is obsessive about asking for a second date?

Why not ask him if he's free to get together again soon and have him suggest someplace that he'd like to go for dinner.

It is how you date people.

 

[joeG23]

For god's sake ask him out. He likes you. Have a good time. Joe

 

[kissthesky88]

crushing is the best. enjoy it.
i'm surprised nobody has mentioned this... but you should be a little skeptical about him dude. you met him on manhunt... manhunt has one specific purpose and that's to find a quick fuck.
but on a lighter and more optimistic note:
let everything grow naturally. the best relationships are built all on their own.
and remember the golden rule:
always leave before you are left.

 

[lostnfound]

Alright, we just talked on AIM.

We had an honest conversation. I basically told him that I was pretty nervous on our date because it has been a while since i've felt attracted to anyone. He replied with, "you were cute yourself." Anyways, I said sorry for telling him something useless, but he reassured me everything was okay.

I feel like I unintentionally made myself look like someone with baggage.

But, he was nice about it. I just wanted him to know what I thought...

Thanks for everyone's advice!

 

[Hellhathnofury]

Play it by ear and do what feels right.

I suck at dating...but I've found that if you just chill the hell out, stop over analyzing everything (im a chick and a virgo..so this is especially hard) then everything will go okay.

 

[spencer]

Alright, we just talked on AIM.

We had an honest conversation. I basically told him that I was pretty nervous on our date because it has been a while since i've felt attracted to anyone. He replied with, "you were cute yourself." Anyways, I said sorry for telling him something useless, but he reassured me everything was okay.

I feel like I unintentionally made myself look like someone with baggage.

But, he was nice about it. I just wanted him to know what I thought...

Thanks for everyone's advice!

ok, now that you showed him your thoughtful sensitive side, you can show him your strong, assertive, confident side as well. Go get 'em tiger.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Alright, we just talked on AIM.

We had an honest conversation. I basically told him that I was pretty nervous on our date because it has been a while since i've felt attracted to anyone. He replied with, "you were cute yourself." Anyways, I said sorry for telling him something useless, but he reassured me everything was okay.

I feel like I unintentionally made myself look like someone with baggage.

But, he was nice about it. I just wanted him to know what I thought...

Thanks for everyone's advice!

Glad it's resolved. Make sure you feel more stable with your feelings because it can drag down his interest if you're worried all the time.

 

[Eeyore]

I feel like I unintentionally made myself look like someone with baggage.

To quote a musical I'm fond of, "Life's too short, babe. Time is flying. I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine."

There's nothing wrong about having baggage, we all do. Like others have said, relax, don't worry so much, and just let things go where they're going to go.

Don't feel bad about letting him know how you feel either. The first thing anyone says about a healthy relationship is, "communication is the key." Most people find they have the opposite problem, it's hard for them to open up to someone.

Anyways, keep us posted. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[lostnfound]

Update:

It's probably been 10 days since the first date, and honestly I don't think he's into me. We've only chatted on AIM a couple times, and every time it was me who started it. He's very outgoing, so you'd expect our online conversations to be fine, but I feel like I have to move the conversation, or else he's not going to say anything. Basically, he's not putting any effort in communicating with me.

I'm so bad at reading signs, and I wish I picked up on this sooner. As usual, I invested more emotional energy into this than I should have. Now, I'm just thinking what was it that turned him away from me, which is sort of a painful situation to be in. Perhaps, I'm just not what he wants or needs. Like a previous poster said, we did meet on Manhunt, so maybe he just wanted a quick fuck. But then, why make me go through all these hoops and have me think he's LTR oriented.

For the past few days, I've been slowly moving my mind off of him. I don't care anymore; summer is almost here, so I should be having fun.

Thanks again to everyone's kind advice. I really appreciate the input.