Rali_hates_Mondays
Sex God
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Right this is my first ever blog entry and I've decided to write about my first step out of the closet. I'm feeling down at the moment so I thought expressing myself would help me.
I currently live in Brighton and still at school in my final year. I haven't had any really close friends to come out to. I think my closet walls put a barrier against them. Whilst on the one hand I knew them well, on the other they didn't know very much about me. They haven't even been to my house and I've known them for 3 years!
I can't come out to my family. Even though I'm close to them, I cannot afford to let my parents know right now. For one thing I'm living with them and they're paying for my education. They're not homophobic nor religious (thank god
) but they do have certain prejudices. It's just that in their eyes I'm the golden boy, who's getting the A's and he's gonna get a really good job and get married, etc. Again I can't come to my sister nor my brother because again I know they'll tell them. I don't believe that Chinese culture is accepting of homosexuality.
So I've decided to go to this gay youth group in Brighton. It was like this JUB member, Soilwork, said- a bit of an anti-climax. I was expecting sexed-up dramatic musclequeens come rushing at me with their high heels and to force me through a makeover- queer eye for the closeted guy. However I was struck by how normal these people were. The youth workers were superb and I've even made a couple of friends. There were gay rockers, gay punks, gay nerds and gay emos... the list goes on. It felt really, really good talking about coming out- like some big non-drug emotional high that came from nowhere!
I currently live in Brighton and still at school in my final year. I haven't had any really close friends to come out to. I think my closet walls put a barrier against them. Whilst on the one hand I knew them well, on the other they didn't know very much about me. They haven't even been to my house and I've known them for 3 years!
I can't come out to my family. Even though I'm close to them, I cannot afford to let my parents know right now. For one thing I'm living with them and they're paying for my education. They're not homophobic nor religious (thank god
) but they do have certain prejudices. It's just that in their eyes I'm the golden boy, who's getting the A's and he's gonna get a really good job and get married, etc. Again I can't come to my sister nor my brother because again I know they'll tell them. I don't believe that Chinese culture is accepting of homosexuality.So I've decided to go to this gay youth group in Brighton. It was like this JUB member, Soilwork, said- a bit of an anti-climax. I was expecting sexed-up dramatic musclequeens come rushing at me with their high heels and to force me through a makeover- queer eye for the closeted guy. However I was struck by how normal these people were. The youth workers were superb and I've even made a couple of friends. There were gay rockers, gay punks, gay nerds and gay emos... the list goes on. It felt really, really good talking about coming out- like some big non-drug emotional high that came from nowhere!