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coming out is nice.. has its problems

J

Jake5589

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okay, so basically i've been a member of JUB for awhile now.. just looking at the content and admiring some of the member's confidence and encouragement to others.
But I'm kind of in a problem here.
I've known that I was gay since I was a teenager.. and I would mess around with a couple of guys and stuff like that.. but I was never really accepting of it.
At school, I would completely deny the fact that I was, and even dated girls to try and hide the fact. ( Never did anything with them.. and I think that a few people have gotten suspicious of that )

Anyway, earlier this year, around January I became friends with a lesbian girl, who was really really out there, and I just found it easy to be around her, because she was so confident. And she would always joke like, you're so gay and whatnot but I always denied it, of course. Well, one day driving to school, I just told her. And she laughed about it and yelled " I knew it! " and just joked with me and everything. Well.. Now this is where I have become more accepting about it in my lifetime. I then told my best friend, and a few friends. But I tried to keep it into a very closed circle. As of right now.. Only about 6 people know.
So the past few months I have been basically accepting of who I am, and my sexuality and everything that comes with that.

Oh, anyway.. I forgot to mention. I attend church programs twice a week, and am an active member in my church community. This is where my problem will come through I find. I have researched what the church thinks about homosexuality and it really isn't that pleasing.. I mean, i've read online and the bible.. and basically god says its an abomination right? So.. heres my problem:

Do I keep it from my church, or do I just come out.. with risk that they will not be accepting at all about it?

thanks in advance.
 
Good point is that you start to accept your sexuality as the part of yourself. It's a very big step. So Kudos for that.
About the church thing, do you find your church (not religion in general, but your own church) is a hostile place for LGBT, do you feel that your church has considered you as a great part of the community? And most importantly, do you have enough confidence and knowledge to protect yourself and your own moral belief against the homophobia maniacs in the church (even your own pastor). A friend and I both come out to our church at the same time. I left and he stayed. Even the church was very nice to me before the circumstance, I had no choice but to leave. Not only I couldn't defense my homosexuality like my friend did, I even couldn't develop a thick skin to ignore all the discrimination in that church.
 
With all the hectic things that are going on in this country at the moment, you know as well as I do that Church and homosexuality just don't mix well together. Unless your church is one of the more open minded ones, is it? IF it's not then I don't think telling them would be a good thing. I'm sure once you tell them, they will be taken back and start to gossip. They won't kick you out or anything...I mean they still have to uphold their moral and righteousness to an extent...but pretty sure you will be fed up with the rumors and gossips and the condescending stares of people. Why put yourself through all of that? Just make it easier on yourself. If you want to empower the gay part of yourself then I think you should find a new church. If the church you're going to is of monumental importance to you, then just be quiet and continue to go to church twice a week and don't breathe a word about who you are sexually.
 
Does your church HAVE to know? If you want to keep it within a small group of friends then do that. There is no rule to coming out stating that when you come out everyone in your life must know. Your decision, your choice.
 
Kinsho said:
Does your church HAVE to know? If you want to keep it within a small group of friends then do that. There is no rule to coming out stating that when you come out everyone in your life must know. Your decision, your choice.
Click to expand...

well, about that. My church is a very popular one in my city, and i'm just nervous if I don't tell them, and maybe they find out some other way (which i really hope doesn't happen) That it might be easier for me to just tell them.](*,)
 
I think that if you have to worry that much about the reaction of your church that it obviously isn't the church for you. In the same way that if you have to worry about a friend's reaction then maybe they are not a true friend.

The only way to find out for sure is to come out if you feel you want to, and take it from there. As has been said there is no necessity to come out to everyone, it really is none of their business unless you choose to make it so.
 
As said, if you feel that church should be a part of your life, there are many churches that are accepting of gay people.
 
1. What church is it?

2. What city/province/state is it in?

3. I'm glad you want to tell everyone. The old excuse that being gay is somehow "private" and not everyone needs to know is just bullshit.
 
Jake5589 said:
Oh, anyway.. I forgot to mention. I attend church programs twice a week, and am an active member in my church community. This is where my problem will come through I find. I have researched what the church thinks about homosexuality and it really isn't that pleasing.. I mean, i've read online and the bible.. and basically god says its an abomination right? So.. heres my problem:

Do I keep it from my church, or do I just come out.. with risk that they will not be accepting at all about it?
Click to expand...


No, you should seek out a church that is less interested in what you do in your bedroom.

There are too may churches that have taken an interest in what their congregants do to their fellow man when they should be worrying about what they do for their fellow man.

Find a church that values more in line with your own. You won't have to tell them anything because they won't care. They will be too busy doing the things that churches are supposed to do.
 
Lube said:
1. What church is it?

2. What city/province/state is it in?

3. I'm glad you want to tell everyone. The old excuse that being gay is somehow "private" and not everyone needs to know is just bullshit.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I think the denomination + the particular church make a huge difference here. If you could give us some more background, that would help us help you.

I wouldn't throw your faith under the bus just because your church isn't welcoming to LGBT members. Make sure your church fits your beliefs.
 
Are you entirely sure about homosexuality and Christianity? Because not even the bible is. Watch Homosexual Abomination on youtube, great documentary that uses real research to find out what the bible really has to say about it.


Edit: but i still wouldnt tell your people from your church. no matter if they love you, christians can be pretty ignorant and close minded.
 
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