Coming out to my best friend?

[Seasoned]

Great news! Keep loving yourself.

 

[fsubbb]

Since I came out to my best friend everything changed for the better and I feel a lot better now, I can talk with him about guys just like he talks with me about girls, I have no secrets to keep and that's an amazing sensation, it feels so natural now that I can even joke about men and he takes everything fine.

Last week I was going to a LGBT club and he said "Can i go with you? Is the DJ any good? Just to have some fun!", and we both did go to the club. In the club he meet some girls (straight girls with gay friends), and he even saw me kissing a guy haha, it was a weird sensation for me, like "how he is going to react?", I know that he is a really open minded straight guy and it was his decision to come to a LGBT club, but still, everything is new to me, having a straight friend that accept everything so well, he acted natural and had no trouble of course.

Just as we were leaving the club he asked me if the guy was cool, if I enjoyed the night, talked about the girl he meet, we have zero secrets to keep from each other, there's no better feel.

 

[Seasoned]

Congrats! It's such a relief to be yourself. Best wishes!

 

[QueerBlackbird]

fsubbb, I feel very moved by your story, because I lived the same some years ago. It was with my best friend from college. Since I met him, I knew that there was a special connection between us: I mean, we understand each other very well, we share the same hobbies, we can talk through hours about everything, we have a lot of fun together... and, overall, we can open ourselves to the other, and share our feelings. He was the first friend who I could say "I love you, man", and not as a joke! And, when I met him, that was completely new for me. At that moment I had a boyfriend, but, in fact, I had more things in common with my friend.

So, I felt very guilty because my friend was completely sincere about his feelings to me, but I wasn't. He didn't know anything about my sexuality. And I was very, very afraid. Yeah, he was my friend, and I knew he was ok with homosexuality. But, in fact, there's a lot of distance between an idea and living with the reality: you can say "I can have gay friends", but, if you had the chance, could you? So I was scared. He could reject me, in the worst scenario that I could imagine. Or he could be ok with me, but feel uncomfortable with the idea of share emotions, or even "physical experiences" (like being shirtless) with a gay man. Or, and that was horrible for me to figure out, he could feel betrayed, as I was not sincere to him, and we were suposed to be good friends.

But someday I couldn't resist it no more. I forced myself. "Pal, I have to talk to you". And when we meet, and he asked me "What do you want to say to me?", I suddenly felt that I couldn't talk. There was no air in my neck. And I started crying. Then he took my hand, and I feelt better. I told everything to him.

And his reaction was priceless: he laughed, softly, and said, "And that's all? That's why you are crying? It's ok! It's nothing!"

And now everything is the same, or even better, because I can be myself with a person who I share part of my life with.

Sometimes, we can't see the reality: that the love of a friend, if it's sincere, it's over everything. So I felt very happy for you, fsubbb. As a gay man, I think that friendship between men is necessary and beautiful. Keep it!

 

[novastar]

I'm not "coming out." After my divorce, a dear old friend of mine of 20 years expressed his feelings, which I graciously felt, too. (He's a foot taller than me, black, and packing a very thick 9'' bbc.) We're together now and I don't see what else there is to it to "get" or "understand." The sex is the best I've ever had in my life. It seems I was built for this. It's like a dream come true

 

[novastar]

If your best friend rejects you over this, he never really was much of a "friend." When I told my best friend he said "I'm not at all surprised." HAHA. Then we went on to have a fun night

 

[novastar]

Hi there everyone, first of all, sorry for my english.

I would like to share my story with you guys today, I'm looking for some help in coming out to my best friend, the one that I know since my childhood days.

I'm 30 years old, still in the closet for my parents and the majority of people, I really don't care about coming out to many of them, but i've been thinking about coming out to my closest friends, including my best friend. He's always been like a brother to me, straight, no physical attraction or anything like that, but I'm still a little afraid about how he would react if I told him the truth about myself. We are really like "bros", we have the same interests (games, action movies, sports), the same way of thinking about many things in life, i'm in no way effeminate (nothing against those who are), just to show that the only difference between us is our sexuality.

I know that the common rule is: if he really is my friend, he'll accept me. But right now it's impossible to ignore that small chance that everything could go completely wrong between us, or that he would change the way he acts towards me, we rug like brothers, tell jokes about many things, we are exactly like most straight friends are, and I'm afraid about the possibility of him having second thoughts about anything that I would do from now on, just him changing the way he acts would be horrible too, or some of his friends influencing him. He's one of the most important persons in my life, we've shared many great times together, and that's what makes everything harder. I even think about the future, he married, with kids, how it would be between us.

I would love to hear some experiences like this, or just some advices about it. Thank you!

He likely won't be surprised AT ALL