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Coming Out

A

allthelittlefishies

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Quick History: I have been closeted all through high school. I have a come out to two good female friends of mine and my family, but that's about it.

I'm going to a very open college, and I plan on being out there. I don't think it'll be a problem for me, especially because I've told the female friend of mine to smack me if I don't do it. (We're going to the same college)

My only thing is: Do I worry about coming out to my other friends. For the most part, I consider them all homophobes, and while I valued their friendships, we haven't seen each other all summer. I'll be a thousand miles away from all of them.

Chances are through facebook and the like they'll probably find out eventually. I'm just not sure want to deal with the awkwardness of coming out to all my male friends.
 
Welcome to JUB! :wave:

If you're not going to be close with them, there's no reason to chase them down just to let them know you're gay. Your best might just be this: act as if you already told them. You can go ahead and swap your orientation on facebook or myspace once you're firmly ensconced in college, and if you happen to chat online or over the phone, feel free to tell them about your boyfriend, or this guy you've got your eye on. If they have issues, drop 'em 'n' block 'em. :)

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Welcome to JUB! :wave:

If you're not going to be close with them, there's no reason to chase them down just to let them know you're gay. Your best might just be this: act as if you already told them. You can go ahead and swap your orientation on facebook or myspace once you're firmly ensconced in college, and if you happen to chat online or over the phone, feel free to tell them about your boyfriend, or this guy you've got your eye on. If they have issues, drop 'em 'n' block 'em. :)

Lex
Click to expand...

=D. That's my overall plan. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a "bad friend". Though I'm not really friends with them that much anymore.
 
Good for you in coming out to your 2 friends. It takes a lot to get to even that point. Some guys never come out.

As for your question, you do what you want to do and what you're most comfortable with. If you like your high school friends and you care to continue to have any type of relationship with them even if you do move thousands of kilometres away, then you need to ask yourself if you're willing to keep this part of you a secret.

You don't need to tell them before you leave or anything, and I'm suggesting that you do. I'm just saying that if you do wish to continue to be friends, at some point they're going to have to find out. Though facebook is useful for coming out purposes, there is no guarantee that those friends will even read or notice that part of your profile. Lastly, if they do read your profile and say nothing about it, when you go back to your hometown to visit and you hang out with them, you're going to have to determine how you're going to act around them. (Censoring what you say, for example)

So, there's no right answer. The decision is ultimately up to you, based on what you want from these friendships.
 
They're in transition from "friends" to "high school friends". Which implies some past tense. Don't worry about them. :)

Lex
 
For whatever reason the approval of people I don't know on the internet makes me feel better. Thanks for the help :D
 
That's what we anonymous people (and gargoyles, and whatever else) are here for. :)

Lex
 
College is a huge transition. Your true friends from HS will stay with you, but most will go to college or into the work force and start their own lives. Over time those mates will be a memory, because you will establish new friends in college and beyond!

I would not worry about them at this point. Anyway, some of them would avoid you, and your true friends will stand next to you, (like your female friend has done). True friends will stay with you. It should not matter what your sexual preferences are, but we know how that goes.

Enjoy collage and your new friends and future. It will be 4 years you will never forget!
 
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