I have a couple of questions about condoms-- first off I haven't done anything with a guy yet I think cause I'm a bit scared of stuff that I've heard. I know condoms should be used during intercourse but what about for oral and a jack off? Haha I feel dumb for asking but how do you know which size to use and how should it fit when its on?
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condoms during...
- Thread starter higuys
- Start date
Size . . . go for the regular size unless you are very well endowed . . . you don't want it slipping off at the wrong time. You'll be able to tell if it's too tight because it will feel uncomfortable . . . then the fear is breaking. If you are a little under-size there is a 'snug' variety.
I hate condoms for oral; the risk factor is much reduced and if you are a bit careful about whom you are with . . . I go without.
I hate condoms for oral; the risk factor is much reduced and if you are a bit careful about whom you are with . . . I go without.
Hey there! I'll be in your city starting on Friday and continuing until next Tuesday.....hope I get to see many of the sites....
That said, on the issue of condoms, there are many things to say; I'll try to touch on some of your questions.
I would suggest that you go to your local gay men's health clinic and get some samples. Get a normal condom, a large, perhaps even an XL (if you are big -- meaning thick). Go home and practice putting them on and try jacking off in them. If they are extremely tight, particularly around the base of the shaft, go to the next size. Try putting a little lube on the head of your dick and make sure to leave a little room on the end so that there is a place for you to shoot your sperm. You can see how much cum you let out and then adjust the space left so that there is room for all of it.
Now when jacking off with a guy, there really isn't any need to wear a condom. I suppose he could shoot sperm on you but there really isn't any worry there. If he does shoot it in your eye, it will probably burn (especially if it gets under a contact!)
For oral, I have never used one. There is a minute chance that you could contract HIV from pre-cum while giving head although no case has ever been documented. The acids in the mouth and stomach kill the virus but ulcers, gum cuts, piercings allow passage into you. Swallowing an HIV positive person could infect you with the virus.
But there are other STD's that you can catch. Recently chlamydia has been making some remarkable comebacks (or is that cumbacks?). Tests that normally use urine samples to test for chlamydia and gonnherea have turned up clean while swabs in the throat and anal area are showing both STD's. Apparently, in about 7 to 10 percent of the tests, urine kills the organisms but they are still present in the person. So when he gives you oral or you give him oral (or you rim), you could contract the STD.
Similarly, if the guy has a pimple on his penis, you could contract syphillis which is also showing some resurgence after years of decline.
The good news on all of these STD's is that a shot and some antibiotics for about 7 days kills it and returns you to clean status.
They do make flavored condoms that you can use when giving head; I personally like the taste and feel of a man's penis so I have not used them.
The one thing I tell my friends (and have dragged many along) is to get tested regularly. If you are going to have sex, make your first date to the gay men's clinic and get tested together. There is no excuse not to know your status (or the other guy's). I usually go about every three months unless I am about to start a relationship and then that is one of the first dates. It is a great way to talk and have some discussion about what you each expect in the relationship -- sexual and other.
No question is dumb, by the way; not asking the question is dumb.
That said, on the issue of condoms, there are many things to say; I'll try to touch on some of your questions.
I would suggest that you go to your local gay men's health clinic and get some samples. Get a normal condom, a large, perhaps even an XL (if you are big -- meaning thick). Go home and practice putting them on and try jacking off in them. If they are extremely tight, particularly around the base of the shaft, go to the next size. Try putting a little lube on the head of your dick and make sure to leave a little room on the end so that there is a place for you to shoot your sperm. You can see how much cum you let out and then adjust the space left so that there is room for all of it.
Now when jacking off with a guy, there really isn't any need to wear a condom. I suppose he could shoot sperm on you but there really isn't any worry there. If he does shoot it in your eye, it will probably burn (especially if it gets under a contact!)
For oral, I have never used one. There is a minute chance that you could contract HIV from pre-cum while giving head although no case has ever been documented. The acids in the mouth and stomach kill the virus but ulcers, gum cuts, piercings allow passage into you. Swallowing an HIV positive person could infect you with the virus.
But there are other STD's that you can catch. Recently chlamydia has been making some remarkable comebacks (or is that cumbacks?). Tests that normally use urine samples to test for chlamydia and gonnherea have turned up clean while swabs in the throat and anal area are showing both STD's. Apparently, in about 7 to 10 percent of the tests, urine kills the organisms but they are still present in the person. So when he gives you oral or you give him oral (or you rim), you could contract the STD.
Similarly, if the guy has a pimple on his penis, you could contract syphillis which is also showing some resurgence after years of decline.
The good news on all of these STD's is that a shot and some antibiotics for about 7 days kills it and returns you to clean status.
They do make flavored condoms that you can use when giving head; I personally like the taste and feel of a man's penis so I have not used them.
The one thing I tell my friends (and have dragged many along) is to get tested regularly. If you are going to have sex, make your first date to the gay men's clinic and get tested together. There is no excuse not to know your status (or the other guy's). I usually go about every three months unless I am about to start a relationship and then that is one of the first dates. It is a great way to talk and have some discussion about what you each expect in the relationship -- sexual and other.
No question is dumb, by the way; not asking the question is dumb.
senorserio
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Good job, Wiz! Your advice was excellent... in my humble opinion.
Piggy backing off of Wiz's advice, there is a minute chance of catching HIV from oral contact, but that chance is increased if you have any open sores or cuts in your mouth. Also you should avoid brushing your teeth for about and hour and a half before and after oral sex, as brushing creates micro-abrasions (tiny cuts) in the gums that may allow the transfer of HIV.
I don't use condoms for oral, but you should always use condoms for, especially if you don't know who your partner has been with or their status.
There are some things you can catch without having penetrative sex, such as herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, which is better reason to get tested together before you have sex with your partner. However, some of them, if you catch them and then get tested, can be treated with antibiotics (gonorrhea and chlamydia).
Condoms come in different sizes, but I believe Wiz himself once told me that he believed they were just less/more snug around the ring, but that the actual sheath of the condom was about the same.
Condoms can hold about 7 liters of water and can fit an entire arm in them without breaking, so no worries about size. However, sometimes they break because people don't know how to put them on correctly. Consult your local clinic or sex shop about properly putting on a condom.
I don't use condoms for oral, but you should always use condoms for, especially if you don't know who your partner has been with or their status.
There are some things you can catch without having penetrative sex, such as herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, which is better reason to get tested together before you have sex with your partner. However, some of them, if you catch them and then get tested, can be treated with antibiotics (gonorrhea and chlamydia).
Condoms come in different sizes, but I believe Wiz himself once told me that he believed they were just less/more snug around the ring, but that the actual sheath of the condom was about the same.
Condoms can hold about 7 liters of water and can fit an entire arm in them without breaking, so no worries about size. However, sometimes they break because people don't know how to put them on correctly. Consult your local clinic or sex shop about properly putting on a condom.
954dude
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Condoms for both oral and anal every time. Continue to get tested with the person and be careful with who you choose to have sex with.
And how certain of that can you be with a new partner?Orrr, to have sex with a clean person who has nothing.
All of the advice here is excellent. Just a few clarifications...
Actually, swallowing vs not swallowing has not been tested to my knowledge. The acidic envrionment of the stomach is intolerable to HIV. Cumming in the mouth increases your risk regardless of swallowing. There have been documented cases of HIV transmission through oral sex. It is unclear if it required ejaculation in the mouth or not.
Genital herpes, like HPV is transmitted through skin to skin contact, not secretions. Therefore the skin to skin contact is going to be responsible for the spread.
It is advisable to use a condom during oral to be more safe. But everybody has a different tolerance for risk. Jacking off is quite safe ultimately (there are some exceeding rare incidents is all).
Actually, swallowing vs not swallowing has not been tested to my knowledge. The acidic envrionment of the stomach is intolerable to HIV. Cumming in the mouth increases your risk regardless of swallowing. There have been documented cases of HIV transmission through oral sex. It is unclear if it required ejaculation in the mouth or not.
Genital herpes, like HPV is transmitted through skin to skin contact, not secretions. Therefore the skin to skin contact is going to be responsible for the spread.
It is advisable to use a condom during oral to be more safe. But everybody has a different tolerance for risk. Jacking off is quite safe ultimately (there are some exceeding rare incidents is all).
Harm-reduction strategies I've been taught seem to indicate that not-swallowing (spitting) and swallowing have the same risk of transmission (which is small) but that maintaining semen in the mouth has the higher risk of the three, as HIV could pass through the membranes of the mouth.
Not that she's an authority on HIV, but she is an authority on sex, Dr. Sue Johnson mentioned that she had heard studies that suggested that swallowing could make HIV transmission less likely because the membranes in the throat, albeit susceptible to infection by HIV, are passed too quickly in the act of swallowing to expose them to possible infection.
But yeah, there don't seem to be any studies that have conclusively compared the two acts. But the HIV/AIDS Resource Center training I went through still teaches that the riskiest action is maintaining semen in the mouth and that swallowing and spitting are equivalent, with lower risk.
Do a blood test before you have sex?
But standard HIV tests take at least 3 months before antibodies generally show up to be detectable. So are you going to decide to hook up with a random person for a one-night stand, wait three months, get the both of you tested, then have your one-night hookup? Or are you going to take someone on his word that he hasn't had sex/unsafe sex in three months and that his test results are accurate and then sleep with him?
Or how many other STI tests, which take time, cost money, and the diseases for which have their own time periods after infection before they show up, are you planning on doing for a casual fling?
Really, "knowing" that someone "doesn't have anything" isn't quite as simple as one would think. There's a lot one would have to "assume" for it to be something one just "knows."