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Confused about a crush...does he like me?

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Hey all,

I've been on JUB for a while now but this is my first time posting :)

I have a coworker that I have a MASSIVE crush on. He's new and ever since he's joined, I've kinda tried to talk to him a lot and help him out and stuff. I also try to flirt with him (although I'm not quite sure if I'm really good at flirting).

I know he's into guys, and there are many times when I feel like he's into me, and then there are other times when I feel like he's not.

Here's why I think he's into me:
-He was at first and sometimes still is kind of shy when we talk
-I've noticed that he sometimes walks around looking for me? (At least that's what it seems like to me)
-He's called me randomly one night after he went to the bar with other coworkers to talk about some office gossip
-We were recently at the bar with a bunch of coworkers and he was definitely flirting with me, grabbed my ass.

Here's why I'm confused:
-The first time I asked him to go to a little party with me he didn't seem all that interested.
-Today he had to work early and I texted him to ask how it was. He said something like it was fine but he was really tired. I responded that I understood cuz he had a late night and an early morning. He didn't respond back, and so I didn't want to text him again (I was going to ask him to hang out). I guess this is my biggest question, when you like someone, don't you usually text back? Or am I totally just off on that?
-To me, the two times when I got a clear feeling that he liked me, was when he had some alcohol in him (after the bar when he called me and at the bar when we were flirting). So what exactly does that mean?

I would love to get some other insight on this. What do people think about the situation? I think I may ask him to dinner sometime this week...we do work LONG hours though. Also, in case folks were wondering, there are no rules on inter-staff dating that would apply to us.

PS - do people ever fear that the person that they write about on these forums also visits JUB? haha
 
Well someone has to eventually stop texting... If I was tired and someone said they understood, I would just ignore them too. And about the party, maybe he wasn't interested in that scene. I think he leans more towards liking you.
 
Make your move with that dinner invite and see what happens. Don't give up if he says no. It might be he's tired or has other plans.

Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you posted.
 
Dinner sometimes can be off-putting. Drinks is always a nice way to start. I usually ask, "care to grab a cup of coffee?" To date, I have yet to actually have a cup of coffee ;)

In short, you'll never know until you ask.
 
I agree with Seasoned. And it seems to me he's interested in some way - not replying to every text doesn't necessarily mean he's suddenly not interested, but we all know how much we read into every little signal in such a situation.
I'm torn over how to approach my own office crush :-D And yes, I do fear/hope he would just happen to read that thread and then either tell me to back off (clarity) or kiss me (heaven) ;-)

Good luck!
 
Hi all,

I am back with updates but for some reason still kinda in the same position!

Week 1: So we went out for beers after work, good conversation, we went back to my place and fooled around a little bit. It was great! I texted him the day after asking if he was going to this work happy hour and he didn't respond.

Week 2: We see each other and talk randomly at work. Had a good "lunch date". The weekend comes and I texted him that if he wasn't doing anything he should come to this bar with me (I was going with some friends). He didn't respond. At this point, I'm a little confused about him and what he's feeling. Don't really get why he's not responding to my texts.

Week 3: We had a big massive staff training before we all moved to different offices around the state. I tried to play it cool with him and not be too attached to him. He left early and later texted me if I wanted to go grab a beer. Then we did, it was nice, he dropped me off at home, we kissed and I left (I am living with my mom atm, so it's tough to ask ppl in).

Week 4: During the week we talked to each other randomly online, but that's about it. I called him on the weekend to see if he wanted to have dinner but he was busy and suggested sometime during the week.

Week 5: We went out to dinner and hung out for a little bit. The conversation seemed a little forced and awkward - not sure completely why...it may have been my personal self-conciousness/social anxiety or it could have been that I was getting the vibe that he didn't really want to be there? So we went to a few places, and then we messed around in the car. After he finished he said that he had to go. After he left, I immediately had this weird feeling that this is all he wanted? But still pretty confused. We didn't really talk too much the rest of the week/weekend.

Week 6: I had to go to his office for a little thing. He gets a call from our boss saying that they need help at an event and so we both go to it together. On our way back we mainly talk about work, he made a comment about how he was going to drop me off at home and so I made the assumption that he didn't want to hang out or grab a drink (and I know I shouldn't have made that assumption). When we got to my place it was kind of awkward. I didn't know if I should have kissed him or not (even though I wanted to). We both looked each other in the eyes a few times, like we both wanted to do it but were afraid to, or was wondering who would do it. So I just ended up not kissing him and leaving the car. Part of me still regrets this, but I dunno. A couple days later, I emailed him a link of a show and asked him to come with me to it, and he didn't respond. A couple days later, he texted me and congratulated me on an award that I had won and said sorry that he couldn't be at the ceremony.

Week 7: This is this past week. We didn't talk at all until I texted him and some other people to come get after work beers on Friday. There were maybe 6 other people there, including him. Him and I never really were able to have any 1-1 conversation during that night, partially because I wasn't too sure what to say (and partially because we were all kinda chopped and so these situations kinda make things more awkward!).

So this is basically where I'm at right now. I have no idea what my next step should be. I don't understand why he doesn't respond to my texts or invites. Part of me wants to just confront him and ask what's going on? But I also don't want to like "scare" him away by asking that question. So part of me also wants to just go with the flow. I've realized that I could probably have been more assertive and that's something that I've constantly been having troubles with - I'm a very self-conscious person and I feel uncomfortable being pushy and wanting. I'm not really used to doing the chasing (I'm usually the one being chased), but I feel like there has to be some back and forth right? Yes, I have a crush on him, but I would feel a lot better knowing whether he was trying to just fool around or wanting to do more (because while I'm kind of looking for a relationship, I would honestly be fine with either atm).

I guess I would love some insight on what other folks are thinking when they read this and what you think I should do next?

Thanks for reading!! Event writing this helped clear some things up for me.
 
I think you deserve to tell him your intentions and to ask him what his are. As far as I can see, he's seeing you as an occasional opportunity and not someone with whom one would actually build something - and you can most likely find better. Don't just accept his behavior because you like him or think he may be who you've been looking for.

To me he sounds no good.
 
he sounds like a little bitch if you ask me and you deserve someone better.

i didnt even have to read your entire post and could detect he is a little princess.
 
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