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confused about a friend

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pierce123

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hey guys never posted here before but thought maybe someone can help me.
ive got this friend ive known him for over 2 years now and lately hes been really flirty with me he keeps talking about doin stuff eg asking me to blow him and saying he wants to fuck me but jokingly saying it. im not sure whether hes joking around because i think hes straight and i havnt come out to him that im bi so i dunno what hes playing at really im rather confused about this as you can probably tell by what ive said so if anyone has any ideas about this they will be greatfully accepted

Thanks in advance
 
Play right back. Were he to ask, "why don't you blow me?" Look at him and say, "let's go." Maybe use a cheeky smile but don't laugh it off. You'll get a sense straight away if he's pulling your leg or if he's serious.
 
Playing along is okay, but it still leaves a bit of a grey zone (are you both joking or not?). And if you don't actually want to just jump right into sex with him, then it would be the wrong move to let something happen too quickly if you're not ready for it.

Find a way, if there's an opportunity, to let him know that if someone is interested in you, they should just ask you to a movie or something. Like, if he brings up sex/blowjobs or whatever, you could say back - "how about we start with _____ first, if you're so interested?"

That way, he'll know what to say to you or what kind of outing to suggest if he's interested in you, but can't put it into words.

You guys probably go to movies together all the time - I'm just saying that letting him know he needs to do XYZ if he's serious about getting romantic with you.

You don't have to go straight to the sex, just to find out if he's really interested in you.
 
weve planned to go out for a few beers in a couple of weeks so il probably see what happens on the night he's always been a bit flirtishush towards me but he always says hes just messing about. however a few weeks ago we were txting eachother and we were being rather rude in what we were saying to eachother and he turned round and said he loves talking like this with me. ive only recentlty started caring about him more than a friend would/should and id much rather keep the friendship with him than jepordise it. my head is going round in circles about this Do i just come out with it that im Bi or do i wait for a moment to arrise
 
If your friendship means more to you than having sex with him, I think it's time to tell him you're bi. If he doesn't stop teasing, it may mean he's seriously flirting.
 
i seriously think he is just messing about hes been saying he gonna fist me when we go out an that he needs my cum hes being really flirty over the last few days and im loving it but i just wish he means it which i very much doubt :(
 
Why don't you come out to him the next time he teases you. If he said, "I want you to blow me." You would reply, "You know I am bi. Your place or mine?"
 
First, you need to figure out what you really want from this relationship. Do you want to be more than friends? If yes, then the next time he makes one of his passes, offer to take him up on it in a way that he knows you're serious. If he's playing, he'll back down really quick. If he's serious, well...welcome to a whole new chapter in your relationship with him.

Good luck.
 
the worrying thing is he only says this stuff when hes on the phone and not face to face so i dont know what to do when we go out or im at his place he doesnt say these things? HELP!
 
So? Whether face to face or on the phone, the same principle applies. Next time he starts flirting, flirt back in a serious manner. At some point, he'll ask if you're serious, and you say yes. Take it from there. If, in fact, you want this relationship to go there.
 
well i think this is sorta over now ive been txting him alot an this evening he txt me saying calm down the txting. to be honest i dunno whether there was anything there to start with but i seem to be annoying him so its over before it begins
 
You've been a friend with this guy for over two years and now he says you're suddenly smothering him? That's odd... It sounds like there's a few more details you're not telling us.

That being said, you can't move forward until you're open and honest with the guy about being bisexual. If there's one thing on this forum we repeat ad nauseum, it's that you can't expect to find out if the other guy is gay/bi, and likes you, if you're not willing to be honest to him about your own sexuality.
 
he's currently been going through a rough patch him an his GF have broke up an its hit him a little hard and he seems to be a tad depressed ive been saying to him that im here for him if he needs anything but he isnt sounding himself and i hope i havnt gone into this too quickly. as this all started shortly after i took some of your advice and started flirting back to him Help im not really bothered about a relationship i want to at least keep him as a friend
 
All you can do is offer friendship and sympathy at this point. If he accepts, great. If not, there's very little you can do about. Sometimes, relationships, including friendships, just run their course. If this one has, it's OK to let it go.
 
pierce123 said:
he's currently been going through a rough patch him an his GF have broke up an its hit him a little hard and he seems to be a tad depressed ive been saying to him that im here for him if he needs anything but he isnt sounding himself and i hope i havnt gone into this too quickly. as this all started shortly after i took some of your advice and started flirting back to him Help im not really bothered about a relationship i want to at least keep him as a friend
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Well, you have a decision to make- either you can continue to take the short-term view and flirt... or you can take the long-term view and be the supportive friend.
 
You can't really do much at this point. His mood is unstable so if he is mad at you, it's probably because of his break up. He won't stay mad at you forever, he doesn't really have a reason to. For now, you need to show that you are there for him, but don't smother him. Definitely don't continue flirting and it is also not a good time to reveal any important details about your life such as your bisexuality, adding sophistication to his situation.

Just chill until he chills.
 
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