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Confused on meeting people from the internets.

J

jubalon

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I signed up on a gay social network a week ago. It's not really a dating-site. More kind a network kind of thing with message board and whatnot. Anyhow, I've gotten in contact with several nice people there. I've sent a few messages back and forward to people who seemed interesting. Then suddenly people want to meet up for drinks or coffee. Four in total.

I haven't been stating that I wanted to meet anyone or whatever. So, when a guy wants to meet just to have a beer – is that a date?

I just don't know what to expect at all, and I'm meeting one of them on wednesday. :confused:
 
Your behaviour will determine what it is.

If you just act like you're meeting a new friend and don't flirt with him, you can set the tone that way.

But if you feel attracted to him you can always flirt a bit and see what happens.
 
jubalon said:
I haven't been stating that I wanted to meet anyone or whatever. So, when a guy wants to meet just to have a beer – is that a date?

I just don't know what to expect at all, and I'm meeting one of them on wednesday. :confused:
Click to expand...

A lot of the time, you don't know what it is until you get there. If someone invites you for a beer or coffee, you just go in with an open mind with the intent of meeting someone.

Sometimes you don't click with the person and it's a "It was great to meet you. Goodbye". Other times you click with the person but there's no romantic interest, so you make a friend. You may just find each other hot and you end up having hotsweatybuttsex and go your own ways afterward.

Every now and then, you meet, you hit it off and you make a date to go out (and you both know the next one is a date).

Aratron said:
What's the site?
Click to expand...

I knew someone would ask. :D
 
The word "date" is a rather nebulous concept. It's entirely possible for two people to spend a night together, and to have one say it was a date while the other say it wasn't.

Why the sudden interest? Easy - you're obviously interesting. That's a good thing. :) And they're going about it the right way. They're suggesting meeting over coffee. That's a nice, simple way to spend a bit of time together, without any obligations. You can chat a while, scope out if you like the guy, if you have any chemistry. If you decide you don't, you can simply say "It was nice meeting you", and you both can resume your lives. If you decide you want to see him again, you can set up your next get-together.

What should you expect? Not too much. Just another regular gay guy who finds you somewhat interesting. Go, chat with him, ask some questions, and find out if you find him interesting, too. As a friend, or potentially more.

Lex
 
only meet IF you are interested in sex.

If no sex, why not just chat online?.
Chat what ever is on you mind.
 
The main reason behind taking part in a gay network is the desire to get boyfriend/sex. Of course making new friends is also important but I think 9 people from 10 is more interested in dating.
 
If it is a networking site and not a dating site, he is probably just wants to meet and grab a beer.
 
UPDATE!

So, I just came home from having "a beer". We had several, so I'm pretty tipsy now, and so was he when I left him. He was a bit more effeminate than what I would imagine, but we got along pretty good. One beer turned into six or seven (or something), and we discovered a lot of things in common. Just when we left the bar and were headed for home (each other's separated ways), I suddenly saw a guy fall right to the ground pretty far away. So I ran to help him, and suddenly we were several people trying to rescue this guy (I got to play hero). I held him up and tried to support him. My "date" called an amulance, and we just tried to keep this guy breathing while waiting. Then for some reason he pulled the racist card and accused all of us for beating him down and whatnot. We stayed calm while he was accusing the people that had ran to help him for beating him down. After a while of waiting, the ambulance came. I followed my "date" a little, then we decided to meet up next week, and gave each other a good hug. :)
 
I think if I were fall down drunk and suddenly woke up to a couple of fags hovering over me I might start accusing people too. Last time I passed out around a bunch of fags I woke up with a hole in my underwear.
 
so in your mind are you meeting them to find out if you want to date them?
 
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