confused

[ghost_2004]

recently i came out to most of my work collegues, My family was cool about it and most of my work collegues were aswell so was my manageress but the Asst manager told me he didnt believe me and said i wasnt gay and he knew i wasnt. Im confused as i know im gay i tried to explain this to him from things that has happened to me. He still insisted in saying i wasnt then decided to go into a full on graphic dicussion on what happens in the bedroom with 2 gay men, the way he described it was if it was a bad thing as he carried on & on he turned round to me and asked me if i thought it was immoral for 2 men to have sex with penetration. I found out abit later that he had gone around other staff seeing if they believed me, my closest friend was 1 of the ones he asked and told me what the asst manager had said to him. My friend told me that the asst manager didnt believe i was and asked him if he believed i was to which my friend said yes and the asst manager decided to try to make out i was bullshiting. The asst manager claims to be accepting but im really confused
Another thing that was said was i was stupid for telling my collegues because some of them have big mouths and like to talk about others buisness so im stuck oh how to feel or worried about what happens next.

There is 1 more thing im a virgin by choice as im waiting for the right person but i know i have no sexual feeling torwards women ive had relationships with them and felt very little to nothing i had one that was kissing me and it felt horrible to me it was as if she was trying to eat my face lol, When i was 17 a incident happened to me where this lad lent forward to kiss me and i had the works fast beating heart shakes nervous and it felt very right and ive never had that from a woman. This was one of the thing i tried to explain to the asst manager , i watch gay porn and enjoy it i goto gay clubs and feel more relaxed then in a normal pub.

I feel more relaxed around the people i work with now as i dont have to hide what i am and i wont need to put up walls to protect myself from peoples hatred and descrimination.

Help me please im really unsure what to do or feel. Did i make a mistake or will things be ok ?

 

[JetSetJake]

I'm of the opinion that it's better out than in

While it may be difficult and maybe some people can be idiots (like your assistant manager, for example), generally I think that now, when you're around people, at least you will know how they are reacting to the real you and not some fake image you want them to see. As you say, you know you're gay, and some idiot telling you that you're not, is not going to change that.

Congratulations on taking the step of coming out - especially at work. I know how hard it can be. In fact, I'm starting a new job tomorrow, and as I'm not one to hide my sexuality, I'm a little bit concerned what the reactions will be from my new colleagues when they realise I'm gay.

Again, well done to you. I don't think you've made a mistake. Your assistant manager said people might start talking behind your back, but in any social mix, that will probably happen whether you're gay, straight, or on a 3 month visit from Mars

One final note - remember what Oscar Wilde said:
There's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that's not being talked about!

Take care

 

[G-Lexington]

Your assistant manager sounds like a real treat. If he chooses to continue to say you're bullshitting him, play along. "Yeah, you got me . I'm actually straight, but I figured announcing I was gay was a good way to make more people like me." And if he starts going into detail about what two men do in the bedroom again, sit down and start taking copious notes.

Don't worry about it. You'll be fine. And welcome to the other side.

Lex

 

[Ramindra]

What you believe is the only thing which matters. The A/Mgr can believe that you are not gay - he does not know. He could also believe in little green men from Mars. He can believe what he likes but does it matter? You do not have to prove you are gay or explain in detail what you are, just the fact that you are.

It was a brave step to take. A few people may say a few things but that is to be expected. Good luck.

 

[ghost_2004]

Thanks guys much appreciated, i had a problem about 6 months ago where cause i was trying to act straight and not be me this girl who i thought was really cool was getting mixed signals from me and she thought i was being too much and her boyfriend (who is very cute) was getting the wrong idea so i told her about me being gay and since then we have got on like a house on fire our friendship has grown that close i hadnt even relised myself how close we was as friends i dont like letting people get this close to me usually but she did and now we have girl chats go out drinking etc, and the best thing is her boyfriend is ok with it and lets me check him out his 100% straight but his secure in his sexuality to let me relax and have a bit of fun .

 

[WYSIWYG]

Sounds like your Assistant Manager is being an ass in my opinion. Yes, you might be the topic of conversation with the big mouths for a while, since it is new gossip, but sooner or later someone else will take your place....

As mentioned, it is much better to be yourself FIRST! And yes you will encounter others who agree or disagree with your sexual preferences.

And you WILL find your man.....trust me you will!

 

[Richardodessa]

Sounds like sexual harrassment to me, at the very least...totally unproffessional. In my company this assistant manager would be termed and it would be me doing it..