Confused...

[cjsage53]

I joined this site after having come to the realization that I liked guys and I was fine with that. Now, however, I don't. Most of the times now I feel completely asexual, looking at guys who I would have thought attractive a couple of weeks ago with indifference, no spark, nothing. It's like how I react to women. Maybe this is just a phase or something. But it feels like how I used to feel from 14-18 when I just ignored sexuality completely.

Has anyone else felt this before?

I probably just need a hug...

 

[luveyes]

You probably just need a hug. Hugs are always good. I give you a big and if you weren't so far away from me, I would give you a real one.

 

[MrWright]

Was this a slow onset or were there events that might be related that have occurred recently? I've been pretty asexual myself of late but I have my reasons (faulty relationships will do that).

Sexuality is fluid as is sex drive. What we're attracted to and to what degree we are changes all of the time without much notice and this just might be a larger pendulum swing - it'll come back if it's been there (stress and bad surroundings kill libido like nothing else so if you have that - that would explain it as well).

 

[cjsage53]

Thanks for the hug luveyes, I appreciate it.

To MrWright's question, it was a slow onset. Just kind of crept up on me and hasn't left for a while now. It may be stress but I don't feel stressed out about anything. Maybe I'm subconsciously stressing over something.

 

[KaraBulut]

Looking at porn is only an appetizer. Being gay/straight/bi is really about the attraction in real life and what you do with that attraction.

You haven't mentioned how much actual real-life experimentation you've done- with guys or girls.

 

[cjsage53]

Looking at porn is only an appetizer. Being gay/straight/bi is really about the attraction in real life and what you do with that attraction.

You haven't mentioned how much actual real-life experimentation you've done- with guys or girls.

That's why I don't watch porn, it only gave me a quick fix until the fixes didn't work anymore. I didn't mention anything because there isn't anything to mention. Normally most experimentation happens when you are a teenager, which in about two months I won't be any longer, but I totally ignored sexuality and all that instead choosing to focus on school. It's very sad but I can't change that now.

 

[KaraBulut]

That's why I don't watch porn, it only gave me a quick fix until the fixes didn't work anymore. I didn't mention anything because there isn't anything to mention. Normally most experimentation happens when you are a teenager, which in about two months I won't be any longer, but I totally ignored sexuality and all that instead choosing to focus on school. It's very sad but I can't change that now.

You should never stop experimenting sexually. No matter your age.

But it sounds like you having done anything with a guy, though. And until you do, it's a little premature to say what you are or are not feeling.

 

[cjsage53]

You should never stop experimenting sexually. No matter your age.

But it sounds like you having done anything with a guy, though. And until you do, it's a little premature to say what you are or are not feeling.

True, but I never started to begin with.

What do you mean by premature? I mean I'm feeling these things and how I described them in my first post are how they feel to me. I don't know if that makes sense lol.

I knew I was gay without having done anything with a guy, just like straight guys can say they're straight without having done anything with a girl. But now I'm not sure anymore.

 

[KaraBulut]

I knew I was gay without having done anything with a guy, just like straight guys can say they're straight without having done anything with a girl. But now I'm not sure anymore.

A lot of guys have a history of ambiguous and uncertain feelings until they get into romantic and sexual situations with another guy.

For some, it's an epiphany but most people will say, "It just felt right" or they describe that the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for them.

It's the difference between knowing and feeling- if that makes any sense.

 

[cjsage53]

A lot of guys have a history of ambiguous and uncertain feelings until they get into romantic and sexual situations with another guy.

For some, it's an epiphany but most people will say, "It just felt right" or they describe that the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for them.

It's the difference between knowing and feeling- if that makes any sense.

It makes sense. Until I actually do something with a guy my 'feeling' will just phase in and out. Maybe that's what I'm going through right now. My 'feeling' has decided to phase out leaving me indifferent about my orientation.

But would this still affect my attraction to other guys?

 

[MrWright]

Thanks for the hug luveyes, I appreciate it.

To MrWright's question, it was a slow onset. Just kind of crept up on me and hasn't left for a while now. It may be stress but I don't feel stressed out about anything. Maybe I'm subconsciously stressing over something.

Well I can say that I have had a huge drop in libido in the last four months (and a slow downward curve over the last two years). I'm still attracted to men and not to women but things like caring whether I'm with a guy or maintaining an erection has been weird which at 20 is a bit unusual (things are starting to perk up really recently but this is a new development). Frankly, it's stress, a habit of weekend binge drinking, and a few relationship problems and it's not like any one issue caused it as it's a mixture of a few. Besides that, we all go through sexual highs and lows.

At 20 mine's a bit unusual but I'm just waiting it out - I should be fine.

If you're really worried it might be good to see a doc but it's probably psychological.

 

[cjsage53]

If you're really worried it might be good to see a doc but it's probably psychological.

Probably true.