Confused

[biboy123456]

So basically, I'm 18 and I'm pretty much confused about what I'm feeling etc and wondering if anyone else was the same way - or could give me any advice.

I like to have sex with men, I've accepted that and I'm not ashamed of it in anyway. However, I have no interest at all in an emotional connection with a man - on any level. I wouldn't say it disgusted me, because it doesnt, it just really doesn't appeal to me.

Then for women, I have a slight interest in sleeping with them but not nearly as much as with men. Yet I really want an emotional connection with a woman, to have a family and grow old together - all of that stuff. But at the same time, I don't know if I could go through life not having sex with men because that's where most of my urges are.

It seems like a choice between love or lust, and I have no idea if I'm gay, bi or even straight.

Even the smallest advice would be appreciated, thanks.

 

[Woodie69]

I am the same way. When Im with a women I want a deeper emotional conection especially when we have sex. It's an emotional high as well as a physical one. I want to know her body and soul. It's very sensual. But, I get a very physical reaction when I see a guy thats hot. Seeing a hard dick gives me an almost instant boner. Holding one, WOW! Buts it's all physical only, sexual and not sensual. So I consider myself bi. I consider myself lucky to be able to connect with both men and women, on whatever level. I know that there are guys here that want and do connect on the deeper level with men and not women and that's absolutely right, for them. But for me, right now, this is who I am. Just follow your heart to find your place, and your dick to find everything else. Hopefully they'll be there together! (did any of that make sense?)

 

[biboy123456]

Yeah it did make sense, and its good to know they're other people like me out there.
I pretty much have the exact same feelings as you towards both genders, in a way though I wish I could connect in both ways with one - would make life so much simpler.
I guess I'm just scared in a way, since I actually have a choice whereas for most people in the world that choice is already made.

 

[blackbeltninja]

There are a couple of us who feel the same way in here. But be advised that there are other guys in here who find our using them for sex only to be repulsive and will have some fairly forthright opinions on who you think you are and who they think you are.

Don't get defensive; don't apologise. You'll eventually find your equilibrium.

-d-

 

[Woodie69]

You make me smile. You don't have a choice! When love hits you like a sledge hammer then you'll know, for the now, and you won't have a choice! Whoever it is. I've been lucky enough to have that hammer hit me and I know it will again. Be patient, your ONLY 18. Just have fun looking.

 

[monk66]

You make me smile. You don't have a choice! When love hits you like a sledge hammer then you'll know, for the now, and you won't have a choice! Whoever it is. I've been lucky enough to have that hammer hit me and I know it will again. Be patient, your ONLY 18. Just have fun looking.

Exactly !! I think theres a confusion between our fellings and the things the culture told t us how we have to be . I get u man!! Im felling the same way , but u have tu ask urself a question : do u really fell just physical atraction towards man?? how do u know if u never had a serious relation with a man? I think we (I say we cause Im in the same situation) have to be true to our fellings and be open to have a relation with both man and woman thats the only way we r going to know what we like . Im glad u open this discussion , I hope more guys share their toughts.

 

[quasar]

...But be advised that there are other guys in here who find our using them for sex only to be repulsive and will have some fairly forthright opinions on who you think you are and who they think you are.

Don't get defensive; don't apologise. You'll eventually find your equilibrium.

-d-

Quoted for truth.

Welcome biboy!

Unfortunately there are many here who haven't bothered to even try to understand the true nature of bisexuality. Your opening post is exactly how I try to explain many bisexual's dilema to gay and straight friends. As blackbelt says, you'll find your equilibrium, and there's no rush to give yourself a label. As I need a strong emotional relationship with women I guess I could class myself as bisexual - but I choose to label myself gay because that's what my life is about.

You're young and many things that happen in the next few years may well guide you into your 'niche' in life without you even realising it.

You're here now, and there's a wealth of advice on these boards, and I can guarantee that at least one of us has been in whatever situation you come up with, and had the same issues that concern you.

 

[iwantbig]

yeah sounds fairly basic situation , i'm similar but i'm more attracted to women for sex ( i like to fuck women in pussy and ass and eat pussy etc and i find women hot ) and i think of my self as a " normal " family man but I Really like cock , and i mean " I really like cock " but i dont think of men as attractive at all , i just want Cock . as ive said before in other posts at least you are young and in a more open world and have a better chance of living an honest life , my advice would be to try and find the perfect relationships , if you can keep it open / honest and find a woman to have your family with and men to have your man sex with you could be happily ever after. hope all goes well for you , dont fall into any bullshit and be worried about labels and such , as some other posters have warned you run into negative shit even on this site as there are those that think they are what its all about because they " love Men " and dont actualy have anal sex and think that men who do are disgusting etc ( but I dont want to start a bitch fight - but i was amazed when i saw that there are negative attitudes and narrow minds even on a site like this ,
So to sum up - have the sex you want to have with whoever is happy to have it with you and find your life partner where ever they are , make the most of your time.

 

[HunterM]

Go explore your sexuality and have fun! I think you're too young to be tied down to an exclusive relationship. You could find a male friend to be your friend with benefits...where both understand you could see other people. Just remember to play SAFE!

But be advised that there are other guys in here who find our using them for sex only to be repulsive and will have some fairly forthright opinions on who you think you are and who they think you are.
-d-

Repulsive is an understatement. Ok, throw in a dinner then I don't mind being used for sex

 

[Richardodessa]

Perhaps you are buying into the mainstream heterosexual agenda too much.....just saying.

 

[Woodie69]

So he should buy into the mainstream homosexual agenda?


I'm gona get slammed over that one...

 

[iwantbig]

whats mainstream ? whats normal ? some of us fuck , some of us suck , sounds like he's got a fair idea about what he likes.

 

[iwantbig]

back to you , Biboy you don't sound that confused at all, i think your real issue is that you are wondering if you will be able to find what you are looking for ?,, you want a family life and you want to have sex with men , right ? well there are plenty like you but most of them are living in secret , but my point is that at your age you ma be able to achieve what a lot of us couldn't , find a girl that can accept you for who you are and then you will be free to find the man sex you want , thats basicaly what i would be thinking about if i knew who i was and i was your age now, i wont bother typing in my story but you can do a search on my posts to see what i'm on about.

 

[Leremy3]

I feel the exact same way. I've been a lurker here forever, and I've never really came across anyone that feels the same way I do. Great post. Thanks man.

 

[biboy123456]

Yeah, I do know what I like and what I dont - obviously there is still room for change.
I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head iwantbig, I'm more confused about how I'll end up rather than who I am.
And if people think I'm bothered about being gay for any reason, then you're wrong - obviously don't want to start a fight off but I would have no problem with being gay or straight, so the fact that a relationship with a man doesn't appeal to me is nothing to do with that.

 

[Sitbcknrelax]

I'm 18 and feel the EXACT same way. I don't know if it's just that I don't really enjoy men all that much but on an emotional/compassionate/companionship level men do nothing for me.

You're not alone!