Confusing feelings for a str8 boy

[Soilwork]

I'm going to say that it's best to not spook him.

Having a very close friend is a good thing... and even if he WAS gay.. it's best to just let him be a close friend.

One thing to remember is that as gay men, we tend to develop feelings for straight men if there aren't enough gay men around... you might wanna try occasionally going out with gay men.. just for fun.. once every so often.

 

[ahotjock71]

I don't really consider myself your "typical" gay guy.

If you are gay, you are typical.

 

[Soilwork]

yeah, I was going to let that one go.

I really wish gay men would stop being their own worst enemies.

"Oh, I'm gay, but you know.. I'm not like all those faries out there who I'm a step above".

(I don't think this guy was denegrating gay guys like that, and I think what he meant is that he assumes that gay men tend to hang out together... not knowing that MOST gay men have lots of straight and gay friends)

 

[PhunkSpunk]

the million dollar question remains 'does he know you're gay?' you say that you came out 2 years ago, after breaking up with your GF, yet you describe yourself as 'not typically gay', implying 'masc' and, worse still, 'str8 acting' -- terms which I abhor.

how are you sleeping? are thoughts of him tormenting you, keeping you awake all night?

does he have a girlfriend?

you say he's spending most of his nights on the couch. is it because he's too stoned to go home?

if he knows you're gay, and is comfortable spending nights on your couch, you're right in your assessment that he is either very open minded and comfortable with his own sexuality, or he's 'confused'. if he doesn't know you're gay . . . well, i think it's incumbant upon you to alert him to the fact. once he finds out -- and he will find out -- he will distance himself from you like you had cooties if this information doesn't come from your mouth.

finally, if he knows you're gay, is comfortable sleeping on your couch (without being stoned out of his mind), and you are loosing sleep over him, perhaps it's best to clear the air, and tell him that you have feelings for him. make sure you're both sober when this happens. make it clear to him that you prize his friendship, and would never do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, violate his person, etc. he will either kiss you, or if he's straight and a decent guy, will respect you for your honesty and politely decline. once you've asked the question and have received a definitive 'no', you'll start sleeping better. you will find both that your attraction to him will deminish, and that you will continue to be friends. if you approach it just right, with respect for his feelings and person, and he freaks out nonetheless, then he's not a decent guy, and nobody you want to be friends with anyway.

 

[spreadeagle]

Straight men are a pain in the arse.

If you're both stoned or tripping it's unlikely either of you have any clarity about the significance of feelings you might imagine you have for each other.

What's your primary reason for being at college?

 

[confusedboy23]

the million dollar question remains 'does he know you're gay?' you say that you came out 2 years ago, after breaking up with your GF, yet you describe yourself as 'not typically gay', implying 'masc' and, worse still, 'str8 acting' -- terms which I abhor.

how are you sleeping? are thoughts of him tormenting you, keeping you awake all night?

does he have a girlfriend?

you say he's spending most of his nights on the couch. is it because he's too stoned to go home?

if he knows you're gay, and is comfortable spending nights on your couch, you're right in your assessment that he is either very open minded and comfortable with his own sexuality, or he's 'confused'. if he doesn't know you're gay . . . well, i think it's incumbant upon you to alert him to the fact. once he finds out -- and he will find out -- he will distance himself from you like you had cooties if this information doesn't come from your mouth.

finally, if he knows you're gay, is comfortable sleeping on your couch (without being stoned out of his mind), and you are loosing sleep over him, perhaps it's best to clear the air, and tell him that you have feelings for him. make sure you're both sober when this happens. make it clear to him that you prize his friendship, and would never do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, violate his person, etc. he will either kiss you, or if he's straight and a decent guy, will respect you for your honesty and politely decline. once you've asked the question and have received a definitive 'no', you'll start sleeping better. you will find both that your attraction to him will deminish, and that you will continue to be friends. if you approach it just right, with respect for his feelings and person, and he freaks out nonetheless, then he's not a decent guy, and nobody you want to be friends with anyway.

Sounds like a great piece of advice here!

 

[screwnutty]

I would say that about 75% of my friends are straight guys, which sometimes I don't even know how that happened, but that's how things are.

Umm So? I fail to see the point here Grover87! All of my male friends are 100% straight.....yeah still don't have a gay or bi friend in real life. Course I live in a small town...anyway the point is you have a great friend there. You've also fallen in love with him too. Now speaking from experience here....don't ruin that. Just put it right out of your head any feelings that you have for him. Just enjoy the time you guys have left...it's college after all. Sure being in a relationship can be great and wonderful and exciting as all hell. BUT so can a really great friendship and you know what....friendships tend to last longer! Here's a guy who's completely comfortable with you....hell he's sleeping on your couch! You guys must have alot in common besides the drug part. This is wonderful....he's straight and he's comfortable with you! That's a rare find you have!!

Yeah...it would bother me too that he's too comfortable with it but you know what who cares. The guy could have a girlfriend by the end of the month or next week...it's college! So sit back and enjoy the company! You've got plenty of time to worry about the relationship later!