Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

[Danugh]

Have you ever mistaken someone's friendliness, thinking that they were cruising you or interested in you sexually? Then later found out they were only being friendly or merely have a friendly, extroverted personality?

Welcome to Jub and excellent first post.

This exact thing happened to me a few days ago.

This guy did something very unexpected towards me and i went around telling anyone who would listen about the experience.

I was making a big deal regarding our interaction getting all giddy and stuff but later it turned out that he is straight and not the least interested in anything remotely homosexual.

It was a bit of a downer but our intereaction that day made my day , of course he will never know that but even though nothing will come of it i thoroughly enjoyed it.

I watched him play basketball yesterday with no shirt on my man processor was on overdrive he was looking good.

Odinarily in cases such as this one i would employ my seductive skills on the subject but this guy is different.

He has a nice body, but i am more attracted to his personality than his hot body, how weird is that.

Most times if a guy is hot but has a not so hot personality i might still get the party started, but this guy is different. I just like being around him, he is so adorable and caring, a really genuine guy and i just want to get to know him more and more.

Im happy he reached out to me first and we are friends now and i want to keep it that way, just friends.


Guys R Hot

 

[TaigaStar]

I've had people think I was flirting with them at work when I was just being friendly....

 

[Christopher123]

Have you ever mistaken someone's friendliness, thinking that they were cruising you or interested in you sexually? Then later found out they were only being friendly or merely have a friendly, extroverted personality?

I'm rather quiet and keep to myself for the most part, so if anyone really WERE coming on to me, I doubt I'd know it. I have women come on to me more than anything else. A lot. I've had a few guys give me the eye but because I'm so paranoid of making a totally wrong move, I don't do anything about it.

 

[andyspete]

There's a man I know who seemed to be overly friendly towards me. (BTW...I'm totally closeted). He's married and at first I wasn't remotely interested in him and in fact found him to be quite annoying. As time went by I would have sworn he was flirting with me. Then out of the blue one day, I find myself attracted to him. Our friendship grows and he's a very touchy/feely type......massaging my shoulders/pats on the back/even hugged me a few times. So as you can imagine the gaydar is registering off the charts...ding...ding...ding. I grow more and more attracted to him only to eventually find that he's hopelessly straight and simply put....a very touchy/feely person. We're still friends and I'm still attracted to him and damn if I don't love his touching me. We're pretty close and really enjoy each other's company. In fact, I could really get into a LTR with this guy if it weren't for his wife and kids........and the fact that he's straight. Sucks when things like this happen because he has no clue as to the fantasies he's evoked in me. In the end, it's wound up hurting me because I would really love for us to be together but it's a complete impossiblity. I'm so tired of longing for someone only to have my hopes dashed over and over. Will I ever find someone to love?

 

[PeterPeterPeter]

Probably not if you're 'totally closeted'.

 

[JakeBequette]

I was making a big deal regarding our interaction getting all giddy and stuff but later it turned out that he is straight and not the least interested in anything remotely homosexual.

I thought you were just bothered that your "facade" was crumbling, and people were starting to assume you were gay? Can't run around like a fairy giggling about a cute boy and keep people thinking you're straight.​

 

[Danugh]

Comprehensive Update - Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

But can you accept that (just being friends) permanently? Especially when he is a guy who sends your processor into overdrive?

Well, like i said it depends on the person, but NO, you do not have to accept "just being friends" even though he is straight. If you really like him and really want him even for just one night it can be done, you just have to invest some time and energy but if you are determined you can bag him.

I am currently writing a book, "The Art Of The Straight Man Seduction", and i'm sure it will be useful to you and others. However, im sure you can think of amatuer ways to get the ball rolling.

In my example though, i chose not to employ my seductive skills on my straight guy because even though he has a hot body i am more attracted to his personality and getting to know him as a person, so i am not interested in anything sexual with him.

Yes if he initiated it i would not stop him but i would not be the one to alter his sexual inhibitions for my own means. But that wont happen because he is straight.

Isn't it kind of torturing yourself to be "just friends" with someone who stirs up those kinds of feelings in you?

Yes it is torture and you can read more about my experiences in this thread.

You are not alone.

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108937&highlight=torture+straight


This one can shed some insight as well,

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108638&highlight=torture+straight

and feel free to add to it.

I have befriended him, and it all started because I saw him and thought he was smoking hot.

Join the club. Many a jubber has befriended a hot straight guy just because he was hot. There is a thread about that here as well,

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=90671&highlight=befriend

Thats the thread about it and here were my contributions to it,

Its funny how sometimes i do things that i think nobody else would ever do it until i come to JUB and see that with so many things i am not alone lol.

I had a class with a str8ty and i set out to meet him. I made up an excuse to start a conversation and thats all you really need because after that i was like dont we have a class togther? That set the stage so now whenever we see each other we talk and we even had lunch the other day.

The truth is i was hoping he was gay but he is str8 as an arrow. The only good thing that came out of it is that he invited me to work out with him sometimes and i get to see his hot str8 naked body when he showers after.

I even go to his house and he doesnt wear shirts and someties just walks around in his boxers...sexy. The thing with str8 guys is that if they think you are str8 they dont have a problem with being naked or in their underware with other guys.

Yes its nice to look at but it really is torture because sometimes he comes so close to me i just wanna reach out and ahh well he has become a really good friend so i wont do anything to mess that up.

&

I did it again 3 weeks ago lol. I was at the shuttle stop waiting to go home and about 4 other people were waiting there as well. However there was this cute str8ty playing with his phone and listenning to his ringtones. I said i had to get this guy in my life but i didnt know how becuase where im from its not in your best interest to walk up to a guy and say "Hey you are cute can you be my str8t friend?"

So time was going and i went up to him and said

newboy12 - Hey thats a cool ringtone

( that was a lie the ringtone was crap i had it 3 weeks prior got sick of it and deleted it).

Do you have free text messaging?

Cute str8ty - Yea

Newboy12 - By anychance could you send that tone to me i have been searching for it for a long time.

Cute str8ty - Aight

I then gave him my number and he sent it to me i thanked him and 2 minutes later the shuttle came and we went our separate ways.

That was phase 1

Since he sent me the ringtone i also got his number by default yet by design . Last week i called him out of the blue and reintroduced myself and i said i got a new tone from the same artist if you would like it so as to return the favour of you sending the ringtone to me.

He kind of sounded freaked out as in why is this guy calling me but then he said im actually in the middle of something right now can i call you back? In my head i'm like damn right you can thats part of the master plan lol.

But i said sure. An hour or so later he called me back and he didnt even mention the ringtone we just started talking because he had this problem with a friend and was telling me about it and then one thing led to another we found out we had common interests and we've been friends ever since infact we are going to a concert with some other people next week.

See guys sometimes you just have to go for it. Sometimes you'll hit other times you'll mit but all you can do is try.

Guys R Hot

He has been friendly to me and seems happy to see me. The last time I saw him, though, an attractive young woman caught his eye and he was fixated on her for a few seconds. He unconsciously gave me an answer to what I have been wanting to know, since I first met him. He has never fixed his eyes on me like that

I can't stand it when I am checking out a hot guy but the very same moment i am checking him out he is checking out a girl . Cant stand that and it happens alot.

As you can see I know the feeling.

http://justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=114665&highlight=cant+stand

Do I want to "torture" myself by just being friends with this guy permanently (torturing myself with some unrealized fantasy that something might happen between him and me)?

Up to you. If it gets to the point where every week you have to take your man processor to the mechanic for repairs then i say you need to distance yourself from this straight guy.

However, i feel that if you divert your attraction from his physical to his mental then you would be able to co habitate with him without any self induced torture.

However, if you really want him in a sexual way rather than have him as a friend then you need to set some plans in motion ala "The Art of the Straight Man Seduction".


Newboy12 Out

 

[marcde]

Re: Comprehensive Update - Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

I am currently writing a book, "The Art Of The Straight Man Seduction", and i'm sure it will be useful to you and others.

Your book brought this famous saying to my mind It's needed about as much as a fish needs a bicycle

 

[Nonimus]

Re: Comprehensive Update - Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

Your book brought this famous saying to my mind It's needed about as much as a fish needs a bicycle

 

[Nonimus]

this isreli helpful stufff here guys so thanx!

I don't recall any Israeli's contributing to this thread?!

 

[Croynan]

Re: Comprehensive Update - Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

I am currently writing a book, "The Art Of The Straight Man Seduction", and i'm sure it will be useful to you and others. However, im sure you can think of amatuer ways to get the ball rolling.

Newboy12 Out
(*U*)
eM.

 

[Auburn]

I have thought alot of times a guy will want to cruise me instead of trying to become my friend. You can just tell the way a guy looks you in the eyes if he is just trying to find his way into your pants.

I hate it when i turn a guy down and he will be like "all i wanted to do was be friends" and then i am thinking "yeah...right, you only want to be friends with me because you are physically attracted to me", which is not true friendship. Seems as though gay men choose their friends on physical appearence first rather than personality. IF you are not fucking your friends, then why do you care what they look like?

 

[gaybot9000]

Re: Comprehensive Update - Confusing friendliness with cruisiness

Well, like i said it depends on the person, but NO, you do not have to accept "just being friends" even though he is straight. If you really like him and really want him even for just one night it can be done, you just have to invest some time and energy but if you are determined you can bag him.

what the HELL are you talking about

 

[gaybot9000]

this one time this really hot guy sat next to me on the first day of class and just stared at me. it actually made me really uncomfortable. i thought it impossible that any gay guy would be that forward.. and that weird at the same time. still a part of me kept wishing it were real. it turned out he was just a very extroverted straight guy who was playing a prank on me, as he often does to unsuspecting strangers. (example: he'll get on a bus and yell at some random guy "i'll suck your cock") he's actually really fun and we're good friends now, and though he is smoking hot i WILL NOT attempt to "bag him."