Craigslist: Loneliness and Guilt

[itsjboy]

Hey guys,

I'm 22 years old and I think i'm bisexual and I'm just too shy and don't have a very good gaydar and just don't know anything about how to get into a relationship or sometimes I don't feel i'm gay enough or something...

I've had some craigslist flings awhile back and I was lucky enough to hook up with a really sweet older man to satisfy my sexual needs. That was years ago and now I find myself finding craigslist ads again and I can't help but feel lonely, guilty and most of all disgusted with myself.

Almost all of the ads on craigslist are from repeat people who post everyday to sex someone new. I feel like i'm above having to resort to craigslist but my shyness, sexual uncertainty, and my housing situation currently prevent me from confidently purusuing a true relationship, the normal way instead of risking my life for some meaningless sex.

I'm just so confused and frustrated!

 

[altlover85]

You don't need to feel guilty about going on Craigslist. Guilt is pretty useless unless you are hurting someone else. That said, if you don't like Craigslist there are other options out there.

Can you work to change your housing situation?

If not that, there are different way to meet gay guys. You could go to a gay bar, join a group on www.meetup.com, or look for a local GLBT community center.

You may also want to see a counselor to work on getting a better idea of your sexuality, work on coming out issues, and figure out how to lessen your shyness to manageable levels.

Good luck and welcome to JUB!

 

[TNniceguy]

My gaydar doesn't exist. LOL

I've read and re-read your post. Sometimes loneliness and the balance between acceptance and desire can be quite difficult to manage. Maybe you search for the casual opportunities that Craigslist and others provide in hopes of finding acceptance within yourself while fulfilling natural desires. That can lead to feeling guilty because those opportunities do nothing to help your loneliness and the acceptance you might seek. I hope that makes sense. It is difficult to explain and I think we all go through the same feelings from time to time.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Are you in school? If so, why don't you try joining a LGBT club? If you're still too shy, why don't you try joining some other club you're interested in? you may meet a gay or bi guy there. Who knows!

 

[Telstra]

Some people spend their sexual/loneliness energy on working/study hard and make a good future out of it.

 

[youngnihilist]

Some people spend their sexual/loneliness energy on working/study hard and make a good future out of it.

and then what? die rich, overworked, and lonely?

 

[Telstra]

and then what? die rich, overworked, and lonely?

and then looking for partners later after they are successful .....

Well if one can't or don't know how to find love.
Find the money then.

 

[MatthieuShym]

It's in the past. I say just move forward and learn from it. You did it, you didn't enjoy how you felt, therefore you don't need to resort to it. Nobody will look down on you. Just focus on getting more out going and social and your situation will change.

 

[MatthieuShym]

and then what? die rich, overworked, and lonely?

Depends on your outlook. If you look at it like that then yes you will be overworked and lonely. If you are sure that you will be alone your entire life then you will. But if you are open to letting life unfold for you it shall surprise you.

 

[Rex]

A lot of people who frequest craigslis are the pathetic, desperate types but I'd be lieing if I didn't say that some of the hottest guys I've ever met have been from craigslist.

Most recent was an Army officer, 25 years old, jacked, muscular, cocky as hell, rugged, amazing body. Very hot.

A lot of it is just luck but I live in an area that has a lot of out of towners and tourists/travelers so it gets a lot of different people.

 

[youngnihilist]

^Yeah, craigslist isn't all bad. It's just like 90% bad. There are 10% who are super hot you won't find elsewhere though.