Creeped out

[NickCole]

Sure.

Stop responding to his messages.

 

[Elwood]

Sure.

Stop responding to his messages.

Unfortunatly it may come to this. Try nicely one more time and if it does not work ignore him.

 

[Eagle653]

Try nicely one more time and if it does not work ignore him.

I agree completely. Good luck--let us know what happens.

 

[G-Lexington]

Do make it clear you don't need to be made to "feel better", and that, quite simply, you're not interested. Softening the blow doesn't appear to be an option anymore.

Lex

 

[EricCage]

Tell him that you don't want to have anything to do with him and just stop responding to his msgs or call etc. and don't think that you can just be friends. Better to just cut clean.

 

[3nipples]

Don't waste time trying to reason. Just be firm, polite and clear: Sorry, but no. Keep repeating it until he gets it.

 

[Something Else]

sorry [insert name here], but I'm not looking to pursue this any further. Hope you understand that chemistry/connection is very important for me--which is why I don't want to mislead you any further in that regards. [your name here]

you can add this, if you actually want to maintain *some* contact but a non-sexual contact--though I'm not sure if a guy digs you that he'll be able to simply go into *friend* mode. However i added this as well in case you were interested...

***optional*** if being friends of a platonic nature appeals to you, then i'm okay with that.

 

[slobone]

^^^ Yeah, you need to be polite but firm. It sounds like he's already on the train to Stalkerville, and you need to derail it fast.

And why are you worried about your reputation? I'll bet you're not the first person he's done this too -- he's the one that people need to be warned off of.

 

[drhladnjak]

Elwood is of course right on the money.

Now do you believe us all when we say you're attractive and quite the catch? Even your NSA hookups are turning into converts

 

[NickCole]

On the one hand I don't want to have to deal with him and I just want to say "Leave me alone!" However, on the other, Kingston is very small and I don't want to make a reputation for myself. I also don't need a stalker: My parents would love (another) on of those - My brother had one for awhile, a girl he was seeing became "weird."

Your approach is feeding into the problem.

If you like the drama, fine.

But if you seriously want him to leave you alone then stop egging him on, which it seems is what you did (maybe inadvertantly, but now would be a good time to learn not to do it) that led to him clinging on so tightly.

You wrote:

Next he said he wants just one more night with me (not gonna happen) and then he started saying things like I was making him fall for me and making things hard for him. I was the best he'd ever had and he wants to pursue that.

I'm totally freaked out: I've told him over and over that it was just me trying to realize my own sexuality and it could have just as easily been someone else (to soften that blow, I say I'm glad it was him). But he still insists on trying to "make me feel better."

It felt good to you so you participated in encouraging him by responding. Take responsibility for that. If you're still communicating with him, tell him clearly and briefly, and decently, without arrogance or attack or accusation, with an assertive but not a superior attitude, that it was a NSA hookup and thank you and you're moving on. Then don't respond to any more of his messages.