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creepy first time

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playwithmemonkey

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I'm 19 and I just had my first homo-erotic experience. I was at the gym and I worked up the nerve to take a steam today so i could check out some of the other naked guys. Well I was in the steam room and everything was fine, then I went to the sauna and after a few seconds I realized that a circle jerk was going on. I was dirprised do I left. I went back to the steam room and after a while I worked up the nerve to go join the jerk off. I went in, pulled down my trunks (i was shy at first) and joined in.

Now that I've done it I feel gross. All the guys there were like 20 years older than me and they were looking at me like they were gonna rape me, I felt really vulnerable. When I left the gym I felt like I was gonna puke. this happen to anyone else?
 
Yes - I can understand you feeling pukey about what happened. Your eagerness for experience meant that you probably didn't stop to consider possible outcomes. My personal opinion is that public sex like this is kind of sleazy and desperate.

Unfortunately you've now signalled to the other men who were present your willingness to engage in sauna jerk-offs and if you are to avoid unwanted approaches it might be better to keep out of the sauna for a while.

You should consider too that this sort of behaviour contravenes your gyms membership conditions, damages your reputation, and prevents other members with legitimate reasons for using the sauna from accessing a service for which they have paid.

It's usually a good idea to seek first sexual experiences with someone in your own age group to avoid the possibility of exploitation. Decide how far you want to go beforehand and try and stick to it. You don't have to be ashamed of what you've done if it was a one-off that satisfied your curiosity, but to cpontinue repeating behaviour that made you feel gross should give you cause for concern.
 
Chill out about it. You have had an experience, learn from it and grow. We all do things we are ashamed of at times, we should reflect on those things, but not dwell on them. You cannot roll back the clock. You were interested, you had a go, you decided it was not for you... and you have been able to walk away from it. Nothing has been lost, and you are a bit wiser from the experience.
 
If this was a gay bathhouse this might be allowed, but a public gym no. I completely understand how you feel. I had the same experience at a gay bathhouse in Denver long ago and it left me feeling the same way. Find someone your own age and preferably somewhere more private! Best wishes, RacerX
 
I had no idea that sort of stuff even went on at this gym, I mean it's not a bathhouse, its a reputable chain. Anyway I've decided to relocate to a different gym, even if it is farther form where I live. Ughhhhhh I can't stop obsessing over just the ickyness of this whole thing. :cry: I was just soooooooooooo horny and it was my first time seeing an erect penis in person.
 
I also say, live and learn. So what if you jerked off with a bunch of older guys. They didn't rape you did they? I'll bet there were some pretty nice guys there; you've given some of them a great fantasy, I'll bet. I remember the first time at the baths when I was about your age and it was a lot to absorb, but I learned that I could have a great time. I actually met some older hot guys that were way better fucks than any of the guys my own age and learned a lot from them.

Granted, you may have to avoid the steamies for now, but the best thing you could learn is to still be polite and friendly with any of the other guys you were with when you see them around and make it clear that this was a casual thing for you.

Oh to be 19 and to get to do it all again.........lucky boy.
 
I absolutely don't think that anyone needs to feel ashamed or icky about a group grab. C'mon, take a look at the stuff being flogged on eye candy on this site. This type of party is going on in many places all the time. Gay sex isn't only about text messages and chocolates and fabulous dinner dates and perfectly safe romantic vanilla sex with a perfect lover on satin sheets.

If you do something and find it wasn't for you...great, do something else, but don't obsess about an experience you didn't like or somehow think you've been devalued as a human being....it was just your cock you flogged.
 
rareboy said:
I absolutely don't think that anyone needs to feel ashamed or icky about a group grab. C'mon, take a look at the stuff being flogged on eye candy on this site. This type of party is going on in many places all the time. Gay sex isn't only about text messages and chocolates and fabulous dinner dates and perfectly safe romantic vanilla sex with a perfect lover on satin sheets.

If you do something and find it wasn't for you...great, do something else, but don't obsess about an experience you didn't like or somehow think you've been devalued as a human being....it was just your cock you flogged.
Click to expand...

Very true. And do yourself the greatest favor of them all:

Learn to think about the consequences of your actions and learn not to regret the fact that you might have failed to do so.

Remorse at your age is a sign of learning, albeit the hard way. Later on in life, it is a royal road into perpetual frustration...

SC
 
Ew that IS creepy.

Just imagine, next time any of those guys go to the gym the same time you do. They'll remember you. Oh yes they will.

OMG the horror.

..|
 
Just a quick response to some of the other replies here.

Maybe to him, it wasn't just a cock getting flogged and it's obvious he doesn't consider him a lucky boy and so on.

Gay sex can mean romance, flowers and satin sheets.

It's all about differing opinions and different points of view and seeing the world and beliefs etc etc etc etc. There are tons of ways of looking at things.

I just think to disregard the distress of the OP was a bit callous.

Back to the original poster...

If it really freaked you out, and it sounds as if it did, then moving gyms, although further away, may have been a good move for you to get away from the situation and the past. Give it some time and perhaps one day you could go back to where you were going to.

These things do happen and at least nothing worse happened to you at the time.

Focus on moving on and avoid situations like that again. You seem to have a fairly good idea of what you're looking for. (Or at least what you're NOT looking for.) Keep that in mind the next time. I still have vivid memories of my creepy first time and time is a great healer.

Good luck and hoping the next experience is what you're looking for.
 
No one said there couldn't be romance etc. You've essentially just re-capped all the same advice as before but as an empath. It is a shame that you carried or are still carrying the emotional baggage of a first creepy time.... there are some of us here with experience saying you don't have to. Let it go. Stop thinking of it as a life-defining experience. It was just some meaningless sexual action. It isn't callous, it is encouraging a healthy shrug instead of wallowing in guilt and self-pity and loathing.
 
I think it's just differing opinions here. I don't agree or really "believe" in meaningless sex. But that's just me. It's happened in the past. I moved on but hated it. As I said. Differing opinions.
 
Hey Monkey,

Dont beat yourself up over this mate...we have all made decisions in the heat of the moment that with retrospect we wish we hadn't. Its OK. Its simply a lesson learnt....

Its not that you've done the wrong thing or anything to feel guilty about...you've had an experience that simply doesnt sit well with your morals and values...and thats what those things are for. To tell you what you feel safe and comfortable with...to help protect you and give you self respect and the ability to respect others.

Our bodies and hormones....especially at 19 will lead us in directions that our minds would never usually go.

If there was simply one thing I wish for you from this mate its this. That you will learn to value yourself and your sexuality more in the future. You're obviously the sort of guy whose values tell him that sex isnt meant to be meaningless. So when you find yourself in the position in the future to make decisions about your sexual experiences that you make choices and decisions that can let you feel proud and happy and let you love and enjoy that time together with someone special.

Go forward mate....dont panic or worry. You've learnt something about yourself here...and you'll never stop doing it. Its what makes you the guy that you are.
 
You'll have BETTER experiences trust me. I went to a bathhouse once and it was the WORST experience ever. Even when i tried to sit in the spa i felt old dudes touching my leg or looking at my cock.
 
It sounded good because you were so horny and turned on. You already knew what the guys in the sauna looked like so don't blame them if you decided to go back in there. You were horny and it sounded like fun and you went for it. What's wrong with that?

The problem is that after your libido shut down, everything looked different. Suddenly they were older guys leering at you and you felt unclean. My guess is that the feeling will fade soon. I'd say give it 3 days until you are horny again and then you're probably going to feel better and remember what you liked about the experience.

Just learn from your experience and move on.
 
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