date with someone who has HIV

[hothole724]

Hi Everyone,

So this guy asked me out, and I said yes. He then informed me that he was HIV positive and I told him that didn't mean we couldn't go on a date. I'm just very uniformed on HIV transmission (I understand the basics), but I don't want to be rude and say no to a date because he has HIV. What are your thoughts on going on a date with someone with HIV when you know you are HIV Neg?

 

[hotatlboi]

Wouldn't bother me necessarily. As long as there is protection used for any sexual contact if there is any (kissing etc is fine), I don't see an issue.

 

[hughmc]

Going on a date should be no problem provided nothing happens that involves exchange of body fluids. That covers kissing with saliva exchange, penetration of you by him with cumming (even use of a condom is not foolproof since they can break or otherwise ooze fluid. Any cut or open wound on the HIV+ is cause for caution because his blood is the carrier of the disease. Some of my + friends suggest not drinking from the same glass or cup, but I still do that. Mutual jerk off is the most prevalent sexual exercise practiced between + and -
But since he asked you out and has already told you that he is positive, if it were me I would go - to dinner, the movies, a bar for drinks, the beach. He sounds like an open, honest guy to me who probably finds you attractive. I think it would be insulting to say no because he has told you he is positive And you may just end up with a good friend who can further enlighten you about being +
Like you I was very unlearned on the subject until I asked a friend who had told me he is + and happily partnered. He and I talk almost every day on IM or the phone because he lives in TN and I am in CA. But my new understanding of him and what he has to contend with medication wise has really strengthened the bond between us. I hope that you will go out with him - you have nothing to lose but he has if you say no.

 

[AdmiraalW238]

Going on a date should be no problem provided nothing happens that involves exchange of body fluids. That covers kissing with saliva exchange, penetration of you by him with cumming (even use of a condom is not foolproof since they can break or otherwise ooze fluid. Any cut or open wound on the HIV+ is cause for caution because his blood is the carrier of the disease. Some of my + friends suggest not drinking from the same glass or cup, but I still do that. Mutual jerk off is the most prevalent sexual exercise practiced between + and -
But since he asked you out and has already told you that he is positive, if it were me I would go - to dinner, the movies, a bar for drinks, the beach. He sounds like an open, honest guy to me who probably finds you attractive. I think it would be insulting to say no because he has told you he is positive And you may just end up with a good friend who can further enlighten you about being +
Like you I was very unlearned on the subject until I asked a friend who had told me he is + and happily partnered. He and I talk almost every day on IM or the phone because he lives in TN and I am in CA. But my new understanding of him and what he has to contend with medication wise has really strengthened the bond between us. I hope that you will go out with him - you have nothing to lose but he has if you say no.

With all due respect ... kissing and sharing a cup/glass or any casual contact is NOT a mode of transmission for HIV. You would need to ingest up to 8 litres of saliva before there was even a chance of getting HIV from saliva.

If the person has a open bleeding cut on there person that in itself is not an issue. The issue would be if you at the exact same time had an open bleeding wound on your skin and he let his blood drip on to your open bleeding cut.

Now to the original question. I know quite a number of HIV+ individuals that I have gone out with. I have even had protected sex with a known positive person.

Going on a date with someone who is HIV+ is not going to give you HIV.

If anything happens in a sexual nature then obviously protect yourself and the other person.

There are quite a lot of people who are in sero-discordant relationships and they are still together.

Just take things slowly.

 

[hotatlboi]

With all due respect ... kissing and sharing a cup/glass or any casual contact is NOT a mode of transmission for HIV.

Agreed. There is no evidence of HIV transmission by kissing.

 

[Seasoned]

If you like the guy say yes to the date. Tell him you're uninformed and ask him if he has all the information he needs to keep a potential partner negative. I'd also go to a gay HIV clinic and speak with a counselor. No matter what, you need to be comfortable so you are treating him appropriately, as casually as possible and not like an escaped leper. Information kills inappropriate words and actions.

I hate fuckin HIV. I lost relatives and friends in the 80s and 90s before the current form of treatments.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

If you didn't like him, you wouldn't have said yes - whether he told you he had HIV or not.

 

[mbamike]

HIV-POS people need love and affection too. They also need sex.

Educate yourself about HIV. Go on the date and enjoy yourself.

BTW, HIV is spread by blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breast milk.

 

[billybob109]

Personally i would not go on a date willingly knowing someone is positive. Friends yes i can do. But if a date leads to something else it can be a big burden on your life. My friend was drunk one night and had sex with a positive person without a condom .. the positive person knew they were positive but was so drunk they did not realize he was having unprotected sex with the other person. It is a huge risk and i suggest not dabbling in a life threating situation like having sex with someone that is positive unprotected. And even than condoms are not full proof/.

 

[youngnihilist]

Even if there's no way you'd date a positive person, go on the date and keep an open mind - be polite, at least you may make a friend out of it.

There are a lot more guys out there who are positive than you think. Many are young and healthy looking , even as young as their teens, so you automatically wouldn't assume, but they are. I personally would date someone positive and take the necessary precautions. I know people who have dated poz and remained neg.

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

The man I'm intensely interested in has AIDS, never mind just being HIV+.

I'm HIV- and would be quite happy to date and have a relationship with him. It's all about taking precautions, being careful.

Agree. I wouldn't have concerns, but I would recommend as others have noted that you need to be more informed before you take the next step from a simple date to sexual activity. Then you decide if you want to take it further or note. Good luck!

 

[USEDCAR]

Personally i would not go on a date willingly knowing someone is positive. Friends yes i can do. But if a date leads to something else it can be a big burden on your life. My friend was drunk one night and had sex with a positive person without a condom .. the positive person knew they were positive but was so drunk they did not realize he was having unprotected sex with the other person. It is a huge risk and i suggest not dabbling in a life threating situation like having sex with someone that is positive unprotected. And even than condoms are not full proof/.

I agree with you i couldn't date someone whos Hiv+ i would be too worried about catching it and it make the relationship suck between us