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Dating advice/rejection etc.

J

jumblesale

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I've posted on here recently about my dating issues. I only started dating a few months ago. I had a bad experience that culminated yesterday.

A guy I liked stood me up three times in succession. When I told him that I would have appreciated some warning that he wasn't going to show up after the third time, he said "Don't have any expectations of me and you won't be disappointed by anything I have to say". Is it too much to expect someone to tell you if they're not going to turn up? We've known each other two months. He also told me that there was "too little of him to spread around", with a pompous sincerity that borders on delusional.

This is on top of his recent statement that he wasn't looking for a committed relationship, and that he wanted to be free from the "shackles of a partnership".

All in all, he transformed from someone I really liked into a cold, dismissive douchebag.

is this once again a case of "Welcome to the World of Dating"?
 
I made a similar post to yours http://www.justusboys.com/forum/threads/423235-I-don-t-know-what-s-going-on

I guess it is, especially if you meet guys online or on an app like grindr. I see my greatest fear all the time on grindr, a guy in his 30s, 40s and even 50 + being on grindr and still "looking". Idk if it's just because they don't want relationships or if they just can't find anyone. I also feel that there are a lot less gay guys in committed relationships then their straight counterparts in terms of proportions.
 
It's welcome to the world of listen to what they fucker is telling you.

Stood up the first time, maybe allowable depending on context.

Stood up the second time - he's telling you you just aren't a priority for him.

BUT then you went back and:

Stood up a third time - walk away, you should have listened.

Guys never speak more clearly than with how they behave. All kinds of crap can come out of the mouth, but the actions rarely lie.
 
NYClover54 said:
I made a similar post to yours http://www.justusboys.com/forum/threads/423235-I-don-t-know-what-s-going-on

I guess it is, especially if you meet guys online or on an app like grindr. I see my greatest fear all the time on grindr, a guy in his 30s, 40s and even 50 + being on grindr and still "looking". Idk if it's just because they don't want relationships or if they just can't find anyone. I also feel that there are a lot less gay guys in committed relationships then their straight counterparts in terms of proportions.
Click to expand...

This is the myth, but if you look around at actual gay life, just like straight people it's pretty much serial monogamy - and just expect it to get more indistinguishable as marriage and kids take their inevitable effect on gay life.
 
TX-Beau said:
It's welcome to the world of listen to what they fucker is telling you.

Stood up the first time, maybe allowable depending on context.

Stood up the second time - he's telling you you just aren't a priority for him.

BUT then you went back and:

Stood up a third time - walk away, you should have listened.

Guys never speak more clearly than with how they behave. All kinds of crap can come out of the mouth, but the actions rarely lie.
Click to expand...

This exactly. I would think after 2 months of "knowing" someone, you would know if you guys were on the same page as to what was wanted out of relationship. Maybe when you are getting to "know" someone, ask more pertinent questions as to his interest in you and if he thinks there is a possibility of a more serious dating situation between you two...getting stood up more than once is also a key indicator.

why did you even like him in the first place? his behavior is characteristic of an asshole from what you have described...
 
Expect not to be stood up and when you are don't allow it to repeat itself.
 
Don't expect humane treatment theese days. We slowly reduced ourselves to base animals who have no regard for anyone but themselves, and sadly, we, who make this judgement are not better.
 
He told you and showed you who he was. You didn't listen.

For every finger you point at him he could point one back at you.

For instance...if you decide to proceed after hating what he has told you and done...where do you think the real problem is?
 
Zero tolerance policy for people who stand you up.
With a little experience you'll be able to spot them before they even stand you up once. I haven't been stood up for years, but it happened to me a couple of times when I started dating.
 
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