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Dating...gulp...

snoopydog

snoopydog

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Well, after being celibate for most of my adult life (after a wild first couple of years of adulthood), I am meeting a guy at a coffee shop tuesday. I haven't been with a guy for over 20 years, instead choosing a solitary life. But he wants to meet me. He seems ideal for me. Tall, large, older by 5 years. He likes cats as well. He seems to be the top to my being a bottom.

The thing is, I have no idea what to do on my 'date' for lack of a better description. I've been celibate for 23 years, and never thought about a guy being interested in me. I'm in love with the idea of being in love, but will I know that he is my Mr. Right, or is he just Mr. Right Now?

What questions are important to ask other than 'are you the village axe murderer'? What 'red flags' should I be looking for?

Any advice is better than no advice.

tia
 
What a wonderful thing you seem to be doing for yourself. I'd suggest talking, telling stories of life and experiences and trying to find more things that the two of you have in common. See if there are smiles and laughter.

Try to just be yourself and try to relax and enjoy yourself. Good luck.

As far as red flags, I'd suggest anything that makes you uncomfortable, or indications that his values are not your values. Find out if he has family and friends and what his relationships are like. It might be good to know what his health is like.
 
You might think about some sort of "activity" to revolve your date around. It doesn't have to be a heavy duty one. Just something you can both do - bowling, shopping, going to a museum. This way, you'll have plenty of time to interact and talk about yourselves ("Yeah, I love my cats, too"), but you have the activity to fall back on when the conversation lags a bit ("wow, that's a cool painting").

Other than that, just focus on interacting. The main bit of advice is to LISTEN. Don't be so caught in wondering what to say next that you don't hear what he's saying now.

Oh, and stock up on condoms and lube. ..|

Lex
 
So I get to the resturaunt at 10:30 for my 11 am date. I get a large coffee and find a nice clean booth with a bit of privacy.

I wait until 11:30 and he still doesn't show up. 1 door. I'm facing it, and I don't get up. I didn't overlook him. He just didn't show up.

So much for online dating I guess...#-o
 
My first date was whole spontaneous. As I left my bus, he just appeared in front of me and said 'Hi.' :). Then we went to shop for 2 bottles of beer and went to the park. We were drinking and talking about (that's lol now) what homogenization process is or about how steel is reinforced :D etc. We were also talking about ourselves, what we like, what we don't. Then it just, how it's usually said, did by itself. We kissed :).
 
snoopydog said:
So much for online dating I guess...#-o
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Well, you did seem like you were investing an awful lot in a first date. Don't jump to a relationship so quickly. Just have fun.

CertainBeing said:
My first date was whole spontaneous. As I left my bus, he just appeared in front of me and said 'Hi.' :). Then we went to shop for 2 bottles of beer and went to the park. We were drinking and talking about (that's lol now) what homogenization process is or about how steel is reinforced :D etc. We were also talking about ourselves, what we like, what we don't. Then it just, how it's usually said, did by itself. We kissed :).
Click to expand...
That's so sweet! (*8*)
 
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