Considering how many people live in the Triangle, the amount of public, gay social activities is abysmally low. There really aren't any sports teams or other interests clubs, at least not when I lived in Carrboro a couple years ago. There's the 3 gay bars in Raleigh and Drag Bingo, but that's kind of it. There are quite a few gay people around, but it's all about having a social network and meeting new people through friends. Meeting guys online there is even rather trying since many of them are closeted and don't like to reveal as much information about themselves.
When I lived there, I was young, gay and single. I thought at the time that if one of those three things was different, it wouldn't be such a bad place to live but it's tough with that combo. I moved to Seattle, where the situation is very different. Of course, in a bigger city with lots of gay men around, there's a whole different set of problems. Actually, I'd say it's no easier to find boyfriend material in the big city with a large gay population. Basically, in the big city there's a lot more to choose from, so everybody can be pickier. If you live in the sticks, you're more likely to settle for any gay guy you can stand because you know they're few and far between. It's also a lot easier to find meaningless sex in the city, which certainly changes the dynamic of meeting other gay men.
Living somewhere like San Francisco won't necessarily allow you to more easily find the love of your life. However, it is more conducive to forming a positive gay self image because gay men living their lives openly are the rule rather than the exception. There's also a whole lot more to keep you busy wrt arts, entertainment and finding others who have common interests.
