Decreasing sex drive

[onetimething]

For the past four months or so, I've felt a rather strong dip in my sex drive. I'm only 27 years old. I used to be horny, ready to cum, whether by my own hand or someone else's 24-7. However, I've felt a graduatlly fading sex drive the past two years or so. I think it's partially due to the fact that I've outgrown the indisriminate hookup stage of my life, so the effort to have actual quality sex with a quality person, had become much more tiresome. I'd rather not even bother.

What makes my current situation a bit bizarre though is that for thepast 16 months, I have been in a relationship with another man. It is my first relationship ever with another man (I am bisexual, but only started having an attraction towards men about five years ago), and my longest relationship period. I am very attracted to him and as a whole, the relationship is going well, but the past four months in particular, I've felt just a waning desire as far as my libido is concerned. I am very attracted to him and think about ripping off his clothes, but when it comes time to actually spring into action, I view it almost as a chore that I'd rather not bother with. I don't know why that is. My guy and I used to have sex several times a week. Now it's once a week, sometimes less, and I would say that around 1/3 of the time, I don't even cum now. I feel awful because I think he thinks I've lost interest in him. I'm kind of unsure what to do, as I can see this being a growing problem within our relationship. I still get hard as hell looking at him and other guys, watch porn and masturbate regularly, but when it comes to the actual act....I'm just rather disinterested.

I'm trying to pinpoint what exactly is not adding up for me, and I'm wondering if it really is, considering this is my longest relationship, the monotony of the situation. I don't think it has anything to do with him as a person as he looks the same as he did when I first met him.

I know that mens' sex drives generally peaks at around 18 and then decreases over time, but I guess it just seems to me to be happening faster and at a younger age than I anticipated.

Has this happened to anyone else? Any suggestions?

 

[onetimething]

You mention this is the longest relationship.


Is this the longest sexual relationship?

It is both the longest intimate relationship and I suppose the longest most consistent sexual relationship as well.

I had an on-again, off-again sexual relationship with this one guy over a two year timeframe, but that was somewhat infrequent, with a flurry of meetings in one month and then several months of no contact. This was around four years ago. I can't remember my libido dropping with him.

Then there was another friends-with-benefits situation of sorts I had with a guy going on 10 months about 2-3 years ago. There WAS a big dip in my libido towards the end of that relationship, but that could've been for a slew of other reasons specific to that relationship (he was a jackass and I was gradually getting more disgusted with his personality, and I think that carried over into my attraction towards him).

 

[sixthson]

Problems in the bedroom often have their origins elsewhere. In finding the problem, don't limit it to your sex drive. They may just be a symptom.

 

[KaraBulut]

You're still quite young. Sexuality and desire should become more tame in your mid to late twenties but it shouldn't drop off sharply in the way you describe.

The best place to start is with a physical. Your doctor should evaluate your thyroid and testosterone levels. among other things.

Have there been any other changes with you? Stress in your life? Stress at work? Sudden weight gain? Depression?

 

[onetimething]

You're still quite young. Sexuality and desire should become more tame in your mid to late twenties but it shouldn't drop off sharply in the way you describe.

The best place to start is with a physical. Your doctor should evaluate your thyroid and testosterone levels. among other things.

I haven't been to the doctor in years but have been meaning to go for the longest time for a general check-up and physical, so that may be a start.

Have there been any other changes with you? Stress in your life? Stress at work? Sudden weight gain? Depression?

Actually, I'm surprised I didn't put two an two together, but I have been horribly stressed for the past several months due to my job. My job situation is absolutely hideous and as such, am currently on the hunt for a new job. I've also been having a few problems with my roommate. I don't know if I'm depressed. I think I technically have been for years, but I don't think I'm any moreso now than I was last year. I'm starting to think stress however may be the culprit.

 

[KaraBulut]

I haven't been to the doctor in years but have been meaning to go for the longest time for a general check-up and physical, so that [strike]may be[/strike] will be a start.

I corrected that for you.

Actually, I'm surprised I didn't put two an two together, but I have been horribly stressed for the past several months due to my job. My job situation is absolutely hideous and as such, am currently on the hunt for a new job. I've also been having a few problems with my roommate. I don't know if I'm depressed. I think I technically have been for years, but I don't think I'm any moreso now than I was last year. I'm starting to think stress however may be the culprit.

One thing that does change is prior to your mid-20s , you can fuck anything, anytime and anywhere. This period of mindless penis-control means that you do a lot of stupid and coyote-ugly fucking, unfortunately.

If you're lucky, as you get older and smarter, there's this connection that forms between your two heads and your brain begins to take over. However, the unfortunate part is that when you're stressed, distracted or generally out of sorts, your libido can suffer.

See your doctor. Rule out any physical problems. Then have a talk with your partner about the stuff going on in your life and ask for his support and understanding. Then continue working on getting things together.

Where your brain goes, may your dick follow...

 

[slickery]

What are the circumstances under which you and your partner have sex? Sponanaety and routine might also be a factor. Even though you are still attracted to him and have a desire, if your time of fooling around comes at the same time in the same place you already will know the outcome. So if you haven't already, trying something new.

Also if you choose to get onto any medications for depression and the like consider the sideeffects because many also lower your sex drive thus adding to the problem.