Depression?

[peeonme]

I was feeling pretty well, I decided to stop having a few beers daily and seemed to have more energy. Then I found that a member of the family had cancer... I felt horrible. Then I learned that another member (both males and 2 years older than myself) was in the hospital, (we hadn't talked in years) and had been drinking a fifth of vodka daily. I didn't know that one could drink that much.
I find myself with feelings of anger, guilt and sadness. I have a headache just thinking about these two. I feel helpless. The drinker has come to me over the years more than once for help, then once on his feet assumed his role of superiority again.

I couldn't get myself to go outside today.

 

[NotHardUp1]

You have reason to be depressed, friend. You received bad news. Close ones are dying.

Old age is a series of losses and changes. It's taking them in stride that keeps it from being sad. You must keep alive the memories of the good things shared. And you must keep making new ties with the younger generations in order to keep seeing the world as it is, ongoing, full of life, full of children, full of hope, full of lives of expectation, not gloom.

Meet your new neighbors. Share your knowledge and help. Do what you can for your relative's family with cancer. Be the helping cousin, etc.

Your arrogant addict needs you now more than ever. Be the bigger man and go to him to offer help. He's down. He's been down many, many times. Even if he never makes it out of the pit, your hand will be a comfort to him. He may yet redeem himself from his arrogance. My mother never built a life after she left alcoholism, but she managed to charm her own grandchildren, so gave them a happy childhood when they came to visit her and played video games 24/7 with her.

Maybe your cousin (?) needs a confessional. Maybe he just needs someone who wants to see him and talk about better times. Who knows? But I do know you won't feel helpless when you're helping.

And maybe go buy a couple of pots and plant some blooming thing to give each one of them at their homes after they leave the hospital. Would be good for you and for them. I spent the weekend getting a late start on filling all the pots on my deck and by my mailbox. It's theraputic. Bees will love you.

 

[rareboy]

I was feeling pretty well, I decided to stop having a few beers daily and seemed to have more energy. Then I found that a member of the family had cancer... I felt horrible. Then I learned that another member (both males and 2 years older than myself) was in the hospital, (we hadn't talked in years) and had been drinking a fifth of vodka daily. I didn't know that one could drink that much.
I find myself with feelings of anger, guilt and sadness. I have a headache just thinking about these two. I feel helpless. The drinker has come to me over the years more than once for help, then once on his feet assumed his role of superiority again.

I couldn't get myself to go outside today.

Triggers for depression can come from just about anywhere out of the blue as many can tell you.

But I doubt if it is just about illness in the family.

You can't cure cancer or live their journey through treatment.

You also can't cure someone else's addiction.

So perhaps it is the feeling of helplessness, or the fear of your own vulnerability that has led to the pre-occupation with their illness. But you aren't entirely helpless. You can offer your emotional support and to be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.

Even if it is tough...get yourself out of doors, if only for an errand or two or to do some work around the house and take some satisfaction in that.

And make sure you are on top of your meds and diet.

 

[Vannie]

I think everyone gets it and handles it in different ways. I hope you feel better.