Did I do Something Wrong?

[bobby543210]

ok so here it is in a nutshell. I'm really into this guy he's 19 and I'm 27. So We worked together and became friends. We jacked off a few times then we started hanging out together alot. We jacked off almost 3 times a week togeter. No touching because he was "straight and just turned on" I alot of the times would try not to but it's like he loves making me hard with his stories. He stays and will watch me jack off. ANyways he is totally straight and tells me all the time. I have had really strong feelings for him for a long time and I finally told him. he loves that I love him. he flirts constantly but always says he's straight. I have never been with a guy (other than boyhood experimentation) and Today I told him I'd love to try sucking a cock. joking around at first then he said lets jack off and whipped it out. I said no and he did anyways. so he kept joking like "wana suck it?" ect and I said sure but I'm a little scared I won't like it. finally after toying around he said to try it so I did. I said if you get grossed out tell me and I'll stop. Anyways I went for it and enjoyed it alot. He loved it too except when I would look up at him he would look away. Then I stopped and asked if it felt good or if he wanted me to stop he said it's good keep going. I have to admit I loved how powerful it felt and then when he said he was gonna cum I kept going and swallowed. He was moaning and loving it. Afterwards he acted strange at first which I expected. Then he got mad so I (not wanting him to feel bad) said I was sorry and he shouldn't feel bad It was my fault. He got mad and pushed me down then I talked blaming myself and he started blaming me then I knew I had changed everything. He told me he was discusted in me and that I shouldn't have done that. He said that I better forget it ever happened and leave it at that then he freaked on me again. then finally he said he needed a day to get over it but he would never forget how discusting I am. I feel I ruined the friendship for sure and how can I face him again at work on Thursday? Did I do something wrong or is it because he may have enjoyed it and is discusted in his self. should I avoid him or apologize more. Help I have no one to talk to about this. Any ideas or has anyone else been in a simular situation???

 

[M4P]

I don't think you did anything wrong - he did ask for it after all

Me thinks his anger comes from the fact he enjoyed it and is having to admit his feelings to himself. Where you go from here I don't know but maybe lay low for a day or two

Don't beat yourself up over this

 

[GL]

If what happened between the two of you was consentual, then you have nothing to apologize for. It sounds like your friend is the one with issues and is having difficulties adjusting the reality of his situation. Some guys who have had their identity so wrapped up in being straight can be really put off when they experiment with other men. All I can tell you is to give him a wide berth at work for now. Whether or not he adjusts to what happened is totally up to him. I think if you broach this with him he will only react again as he already has. Best of luck to you.

 

[StlKj]

He wanted it. He enjoyed it. He's scared because he liked it. He knows now that he's at least bi, and he's disgusted by himself, but taking it out on you.

Do NOT apologize to him again. You don't have anything to be ashamed about. Do not grovel at his feet. It happened, and now he has to deal with it. I really think you need to just act like it never happened unless he wants to talk about it again. Really gotta emphasize--don't apologize to him about this anymore. He was not a victim, and you were not a predator.

 

[bobby543210]

thanks guys you make it easier for me to sleep tonight

 

[Horschallen]

Try to refrain from discussing the subject at work. Keep that subject outside the workplace... otherwise it could end up as a "sexual harrassment" case at work.

 

[pinolian79]

You have nothing to apologize for. He wanted it and is now unable to deal with it.
He needs to apologize to you. Dont beat yourself up over him.

 

[CGHJ]

You have nothing to apologize for. He wanted it and is now unable to deal with it.
He needs to apologize to you. Dont beat yourself up over him.

What he said.

He's the one that needs to apologize to you for being a bitch. Sorry you had to find out your JO buddy was an uptight ass, but better you found out sooner rather than later. now go suck someone else's cock, someone who will really enjoy it and will suck yours back. There's plenty, and you don't need to waste your time with this [ahem] cocksucker.

I seem to be channeling Soilwork recently. It feels good.

 

[Jinx]

What's more than likely going to happen is he'll get over it, you'll hang out again, start doing your thang, and he'll probably want you to do it again.

Quit apologizing for his insecurities. Find someone who doesnt get mad at you when you give them a blow job.

 

[star-warrior]

Who knows, once he's gotten his conscience under control, he may cum back for more....

 

[ridge01]

It's the typical case when the str8 guy starts realizing what he had been trying to hide from himself. He needs time to figure out what's going on, and if you love him, you should give him that time and be available whenever he asks for your companion. However, do not apologize again. This has got nothing to do with you.

 

[Horschallen]

The truth can be very painful to the beholder in denial.

 

[OrionNorthFL]

It's the typical "cum and run" scenario. A lot of guys (supposedly straight, but even some gay guys with issues) will be all horned up, be really into the sex, but the moment they cum it's done and over, the reality of what they just did hits them, and they bolt out the door.

Your friend just took it to a different level. He has issues, YOU didn't ruin anything, but tread carefully.

 

[bobby543210]

Thanks guys I guess I will just wait it out. Has anyone else had an experience like this if so what happened? I don't care if we ever do anything sexual together again I just want him back
SAD I know

 

[screwnutty]

Thanks guys I guess I will just wait it out. Has anyone else had an experience like this if so what happened? I don't care if we ever do anything sexual together again I just want him back
SAD I know

Yes. We were in college for three years. Best friends. After it happened he was totally pissed at me and ignored me for a week. I stayed out of his way, took the bus to college etc. after that week he came up to me and apologised and everything was fine, he even started the next hookup with me. However it was not meant to be I'm afraid. About a year and one month ago he meet a girl from work (we were still fooling around) and told me it was over and that he just used me cause it was better then jerking off alone. He wasn't gay, he was straight etc. We parted on the worse of terms. I just hope he's right....cause I'd hate to see him have kids and then come out years later.

Oh well...that's his problem.

As for yours, I agree 100% with the others here. Don't worry about it.

 

[bobby543210]

fast forward 3 years, it happened almost daily where he would get me to suck him. It used to turn me on when he would look atr me and out of the blue say "you should out it in your mouth." It has happened hundreds of times and sometimes 3-4 times a day. we ended up moving in together. it has slowed down but still happens from time to time, mostly jerking off together. We cuddle in bed sometimes but he is straight! I would love him to fuckme. I want him to really badly but he says that is gay! Lately we had pulled a part and he has been hard to live with. we r just roomates. I have been thinking of moving out but then we kinda connected again and then he started seeing this girl. I became really sickly jealous. I know the whole relationship is messed up but I love him. There I said it. This girl is playing mind games and he has only kissed her and she broke it off. He has spentmany nights with me telling him he deserves better. He knows I care. He likes that I cry and tell him I'm jealous. Wow this is screwed up by I'm head over heals sick in love. Any suggestions?

 

[StlKj]

fast forward 3 years, it happened almost daily where he would get me to suck him. It used to turn me on when he would look atr me and out of the blue say "you should out it in your mouth." It has happened hundreds of times and sometimes 3-4 times a day. we ended up moving in together. it has slowed down but still happens from time to time, mostly jerking off together. We cuddle in bed sometimes but he is straight! I would love him to fuckme. I want him to really badly but he says that is gay! Lately we had pulled a part and he has been hard to live with. we r just roomates. I have been thinking of moving out but then we kinda connected again and then he started seeing this girl. I became really sickly jealous. I know the whole relationship is messed up but I love him. There I said it. This girl is playing mind games and he has only kissed her and she broke it off. He has spentmany nights with me telling him he deserves better. He knows I care. He likes that I cry and tell him I'm jealous. Wow this is screwed up by I'm head over heals sick in love. Any suggestions?

You deserve better too. You don't love him so much as you crave him and are addicted to him. Real love is reciprocated and honest. He gets to use you for sex and companionship without having to give emotionally in return. If you're cool with this co-dependent, unhealthy relationship, then fine. Keep it going. You're going to be heartbroken every time he finds a girl.

My advice? Suck it up, get some emotional support, and get the hell away from him.

 

[bankside]

His problem not yours.

He could have said:
No thanks, or
Jacking off was cool but that's about it, or
Yeah I want you to try blowing me but it's too much for me to handle if I blow in your mouth so you have to pull off when I say.

Its his job to figure that out, not your job to guess. He owes you an apology, He got what he asked for, and it freaked him out. That's not your problem.

 

[KaraBulut]

...He likes that I cry and tell him I'm jealous. Wow this is screwed up by I'm head over heals sick in love. Any suggestions?

At first, I looked at this thread wondering why a 3 year old thread got revived.

Then I got to your post.

You're in an abusive relationship. You're being emotionally manipulated, humiliated and taken advantage of.

Whether this guy is straight is irrelevant. He's a user and an abuser. And you've spent 3 years in this unhealthy relationship with him - probably at the cost of a big chunk of your self-esteem.

It's up to you to end it. You may want to consider getting some counseling to start putting your life back together and to begin finding a healthy relationship with a guy who can return your feelings.

 

[bankside]

Woh, sorry about that, I didn't look at the date on your first post.

Fortunately I can stand by what I said. Three years is a long time. In three years he has not apologised through his actions. He just keeps playing games with you.

Three years is enough time for him to show proper respect for your feelings. Instead of respect, he enjoys having a power trip when he plays with your emotions.

Give yourself some freedom from this guy. You are right to think about moving out. I think you should. And it is not something you should discuss with him to see if he thinks it is a good idea or not. Plan it. Do it. Imagine if you met a great guy who really cared for you. That guy would be jealous, or at least very sad for you, if he knew you still worried about this roommate who plays with your emotions.

Get away from the roommate so when you do meet a decent guy, he doesn't have to worry about this roommate taking advantage of you.