did I make a mistake?

[robdrake]

^no, dont.

just vent it out.

 

[medic1]

Jesse there are so many guys on this site that really look out for each other and
i am sure that you will get tons of advice and many offers of a shoulder to lean on.
Though at the moment it looks like your lover (and yes am being sarcastic) is holding all the cards.
I dont know maybe he thinks that now he is all grown up and earning a decent salary he is starting to think that maybe he should upgrade,sorry but after reading what was a real cry from the heart i think your fella is a douchebag complete with honours.
Buddy the guys on here can and will offer opinions and options,the post above mine was great advice let it vent fella and i am sorry that you are with someone
whose head is so far up his ass that he has to use a bidet to brush his teeth.
All i can do is wish you luck and hope that you can see that little light in the distance. Adam

 

[KaraBulut]

As a moderator, I'm going to ask that you reconsider and leave your thread open. It's important that you have someone to talk to and that you work this out.

There's two recurring themes in your post: your self-esteem issues and lots of problems with communication.

There's something going on with your relationship- you're not an equal partner and it seems like this living arrangement isn't healthy for you mentally or in terms of your education.

But the fact that the two of you can't talk about this is a more serious issue. If your boyfriend is avoiding the subject or telling you not to worry, that's also not communicating.

Decide what is best for you. Sit down with your boyfriend and have a talk about what is right for you. Do it now while you have options on where to go and while it won't interrupt your education.

When you're young, it's very hard to see the "long view" of things. If this relationship that you have with your boyfriend is going to work on the long-term, a lot of things have to change. Your view of yourself- your self-esteem- is something that you need to work on. You need to focus on your education and making a life for yourself. You need your own friends and something other than a long commute to spend time with one person. And you need to be in a place where you're an equal partner in the relationship, not just a boarder-student who sleeps with the owner of the house.

And probably the best way for you to work on yourself is to get out of your current situation. Listen to your Mom- she's right.

 

[racer2438]

First you need and big ----Then you need to have a good long honest talk with him, lay it all out and get all the facts out.

Only then can you make a decison based on those facts and see what is best for you.

At this point it seems he is made up his mind and your not in the picture as much any more. So before it gets harder on you and you get hurt more see what you need to do.

Always look out for #1 first --YOU.

you have to be able to take care of you and make sure you are in the right place in your life. As hard as it may be it may be time to move.

You may what to seek help with consuling to see where things may have gone wrong so that that don't happen again. If you don't know you could be making over again.

But you have to communicate and talk, just ask point blank. You need to know the truth one way or the other.

But what he has done so far is very hurtfull and is really bring you down.

There is so much more to life than this and you deserve better. So talk it out hope for the best, but don't be surprised if it does not work out.

I wish you luck, and don't be afraid to ask questions here on this forum, that's is why we are all here, we all need help from time to time.

There is no such thing as a dumb question--only a question that is not asked..

We are all here to help even if it is just lending a ear to listen to what you have to say.

Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing..

 

[ReluctantDaddy]

I don't reply to too many posts, but yours really struck me.

The sentence that jumped out at me was this:

truthfully, i dont think there would be another guy in the world who would want to be with me. im not that great looking and i was surprised he even wanted to be with me.

So much negativity here. Believe me when I say I know, I am very much similar.

But I have found a partner, who will be with me for life...

With > 6 billion people on this Earth, to say there isn't another guy in the world who would want to be with you is a grand and statistically (I'm a goofy "sciencey" type) improbable situation.

Sounds like you've gotten into a bit of a pickle, but this is all short term. I say this because as you get older (I'm closing in on 45) your sight extends.... at 15, all you see is the months leading up to 16... at 40 you often look towards 70 or 80. Essentially what I am getting at is that your time now seems severe because of everyday has much more monumental importance. There is lots of time.

I am rambling a bit. But I want to say is keep your chin up, stay being that wonderful loving person with good solid standards, and know that there is someone out there for you.... that last part is so true... so true!

Good luck! And thank you for sharing.... keep us up to date.

 

[swdguy]

Also, since you are a student, you might want to see a counselor at your school for guidances or a gay/straight club at your school (if there's one - i hope so) for support. Do not tread this alone, we are all here to listen and give you support. u are the only one to open the door. We can only show you the options, not make a decision for you. Only you can do that. If you are still in need to vent it out, by all means, go ahead and we'll be here for you. *hugs*

 

[xKMANx]

Learn to love yourself, don't put yourself down. My best advice is, live your own life. Just because you house with your bf, does not mean you will be doing everything together. Some personal space will make him feel better.

His friends are not your friends, and your friends are not his. If feel like your not wanted, surround yourself with people you enjoy being around.

Lastly, when a person cheats it's never sexual. There is always something psychologically wrong. I've had thoughts of cheating on my boyfriend too, but it has never been because Ive wanted sex with another man, it was similar feeling that your having. Absence of compassion, and love. Have a talk with him; communication is key, and find out what is wrong.

 

[medic1]

Hey jesse
It was great to read that last post of yours told you most of the guys on here are great when someone is in crisis they are so supportive,at least you have made one young scot happy by seeing that little light. Good luck