Do I have a friend? (online-friendship)

[Lewis1]

Hello everyone I am just wondering If I have a friend or not. Here is the backstory.

Me and this guy met on a music forum. He posted some of his music for everyone to critique. I wanted to talk to him one on one about it. He gave me his instant messenger s/n. We have been talking off & on for 2 years. He is gay and he is the one who told me about this site not too long ago. So since then our conversations have been few and far between. He would just come online like once every 2 or 3 months and only stay on for like 10 minutes. So fast forward to two-weeks ago. I messeged him and we got to talking about music. He wanted to call me to show off his "new" voice so I said yeah. We got to talking more about music and discovered we really kind of click. But, we live in different states so the long distance can get expensive so we mostly talk online. And, like 2 or 3 days ago he really opened up to me about his life and his relationships & stuff. I felt really special that he wanted to talk to me about this stuff. Anyway, I just dont know if I can call him my friend.

Here are my questions:

1) Does he sound like a friend to you?
2) He never messeges me. I have always initiated the conversation. Does that mean anything?

thats all lol (I know some of you guys have way more to worry about ) I would really appreciate some feedback about this

Thanks

 

[martin6]

I'm up front about the fact that I will almost never initiate a conversation. Maybe he's like me and he just doesn't wanna start one and is hoping you'll start it each time? If you talk and click when you do, it sounds like you have an e-friend.

 

[Lewis1]

I'm up front about the fact that I will almost never initiate a conversation. Maybe he's like me and he just doesn't wanna start one and is hoping you'll start it each time? If you talk and click when you do, it sounds like you have an e-friend.

Thanks for responding & I think you are right. He feels like a friend (if that makes sense)

 

[Lewis1]

He sounds like a friend. He is also very lucky to have you as you seem to care. Hang in there Sweetie.

Good thankies

 

[Lewis1]

heyyyy he messeged me twice I feel better now

 

[Lewis1]

UPDATE (if anyone cares) lmao

okay things have been preety good
he has opened up to me about some personal things
& i love that but i think it makes him uncomfortable but he needs someone to talk to
and im there lol

and lately he seems really distant & im getting afraid
im doing something wrong or pushing him away somehow

and i just paranoid or is this a normal up & down in a friendship?

i just dont want him to pull away from me

 

[tonyboy]

UPDATE (if anyone cares) lmao

okay things have been preety good
he has opened up to me about some personal things
& i love that but i think it makes him uncomfortable but he needs someone to talk to
and im there lol

and lately he seems really distant & im getting afraid
im doing something wrong or pushing him away somehow

and i just paranoid or is this a normal up & down in a friendship?

i just dont want him to pull away from me

Hey Lewis1...

Listen here man.. real life friendships are tough to create.. online friendships are even tougher.

In real life you can see the person you are talking with, sort of judge how they are reacting to what you say, and vice versa.

Seems to me you are one very fine and loveable guy. Don't you worry about saying or doing anything wrong... you just be the way you are. If he pushes you away then it's his problem, not yours.
If he's opened up to then that is fine and good man.
If he decides to close himself toward you then it's not your fault.... repeat man IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
That is his choice.
If he figures that he doesn't want to share with you then it's his decision. I think that he'd be out on making a fine friend/buddy if he did so, but that is his choice.

Don't you let that bother you at all Lewis1. That is up to him.... sad it will be for him.. but I figure that since he even started to talk with you and opened up to you then he realized what a fine person you are.

You just keep being that fine and great guy man.... if this particular guy doesn't quite get it, well there will be others.... You can count on it man.

Sensitive, great, and caring guys like you are one in a million my friend.

You will be fine with this guy or without him... trust me on this, ok?
Sorry for the long message here... usually I write stuff like this in a pm... just didn't do that here tonight.
You can write me in a pm though if you want to.
Best to you Lewis.... seems to me you are one hell of a good guy.
a friend.

 

[Lewis1]

Hey Lewis1...

Listen here man.. real life friendships are tough to create.. online friendships are even tougher.

In real life you can see the person you are talking with, sort of judge how they are reacting to what you say, and vice versa.

Seems to me you are one very fine and loveable guy. Don't you worry about saying or doing anything wrong... you just be the way you are. If he pushes you away then it's his problem, not yours.
If he's opened up to then that is fine and good man.
If he decides to close himself toward you then it's not your fault.... repeat man IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
That is his choice.
If he figures that he doesn't want to share with you then it's his decision. I think that he'd be out on making a fine friend/buddy if he did so, but that is his choice.

Don't you let that bother you at all Lewis1. That is up to him.... sad it will be for him.. but I figure that since he even started to talk with you and opened up to you then he realized what a fine person you are.

You just keep being that fine and great guy man.... if this particular guy doesn't quite get it, well there will be others.... You can count on it man.

Sensitive, great, and caring guys like you are one in a million my friend.

You will be fine with this guy or without him... trust me on this, ok?
Sorry for the long message here... usually I write stuff like this in a pm... just didn't do that here tonight.
You can write me in a pm though if you want to.
Best to you Lewis.... seems to me you are one hell of a good guy.
a friend.

thanx so much. I do really try hard to be a good friend. Hey I appreciate you comforting me. I Do trust you. I don't feel like im doing anything wrong for him to pull away. Thanks alot though I feel better now

 

[ywanbach]

I know Tonyboy, he does give good advice, he is my efriend too. I f ever you want to talk, he is the man. My first bf died last year in a car crash, since then tonyboy has been here for me.
All the time.
True.