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Do I have the right to be pissed off? (Please read and reply)

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Hey all,

So, I've been a member on this forum, but haven't really posted anything. Something happened today, or yesterday seeing that its basically 4 am, that I just can't let go of.

I've recently officially come out, and I've been dating this guy, my first relationship, for about two months now. Because of our work schedules, we only see each other once a week. We've always been really good together, but our last outing has left me really pissed off and I just wanted to get some advice.

Yesterday (Saturday) we got together for dinner. It was the first time that I was paying, since he makes a lot more money than me and he always pays, and I was very excited. I show up at his place around 4:30 pm. He's exhausted from partying with his friend the night before and doing nothing all day prior to my arrival. We wrestled a bit, and I even tried to tie him up (he's into the dom/sub thing and has expressed the desire for me to be more dom, so I tried), only to be somewhat shut down. At dinner, he spent all his time reading the lips of the characters on the muted TV behind me and he hardly spoke. I then find out that he's planning for his cousin to visit him on the week of my birthday, where I was hoping to spend it with him. After dinner we called it a night cause he was basically passing out. So, tired and full, I left, having to wait another week till I get to see him again.

What I want to know is: Should I be as pissed off as I am? My problem is that I have bad anxiety, which always makes me over think situations and make them worse than what they really are. What should I do?
 
If this is the first time it happened I wouldnt read to much into it, he was probably just tired. If it continues the best thing to do would ask him if there was a problem.
 
Stop overthinking it.

It is really simple.

Beyond the whole dom/submissive thing, the guy is a jerk. Dump his ass and get yourself a better bf.
 
Firstly, being with someone for only 2 months doesn't tell you much about them, especially if you only meet once a week. If your interested in a relationship, (you don't say if you are), then it will take you more time.

I know when I am tired, I want to just try and relax, not talk, or go out. Then hopefully go to bed early!

Since this is your first time with this happening, I wouldn't dump his ass as mentioned. If this bothers you a lot, then I would try to talk to him about it. If your not comfortable about talking to him about it, then just let the situation go and see what happens.
 
yeah, stop over thinking it..you two have only been dating for two months..are you to exclusive?
Don't read too much into it and don't play any games. He partied too much the night before, of course he may not be too much up for anything (you've never been hungover?) You 'hoped' to spend your birthday with him, but he had other plans your your upset? he can't read your mind...did you two have plans for your birthday that he cancelled? Take it for face value...if behavior continues and you're unhappy then it's time to move on. If it's an isolated incident, he's human. no drama
 
at some point in time he has to be there more for you in order for it to work. this is the first time, let it go. but if it continues to happen, after talking to him about it and he's still not receptive, it may be time to move on.
 
Oh god.

It was clear as day that the bf is just a creepy self-absorbed guy who is not a good long term prospect.

Trust me. Drift him now while you still can.
 
Yes you need to decide what you want out of this and make it known to him.

If he claims he tired and exhausted, don't make him go out. If you want to spend time with him, then veg out on the couch. If you are pumping for a night out and he is tired, go out on your own.

It's only been two months, and unless anything has been established between the two of you (ie talking about what the two of you want and expect from each other) then don't read into things.

Getting cranky and upset this early in the relationship equals trouble later on.
 
planre09 said:
Do I have the right to be pissed off?

Yes.


planre09 said:
What should I do?

Find someone who has time for you (certainly more than one day a week).

Find someone who makes you a priority in their life.

Find someone who doesn't go out and party the night before your date.

In short, find someone else.
 
Yeah, things aren't really working out. Time for a change of scenery. Thanks all :)
 
Give the man his space, and you take yours. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Put him on a relationship diet for a couple of weeks, and see if his appetite has returned. If he don't like your peaches, then he ain't got to shake your tree. I suspect he'll be back: "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boomerang baby..."
 
pissed, no...not enough time invested for that
like babi said, give him his space. but unlike babi said make sure its a big space and permanent. tht is unless you like being a low (and i mean low) priority as in 1 day a week, as in blowing off that one day and already planning on blowing off another.

face it, to him you ain't a relationship, you is a recepticle of convenience, maybe even a night depository...not putting you down just reviewing the data with a jaundiced eye...best of luck
 
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