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Do You Ever Settle?

So they're choosing quantity over quality. Do you suppose that's some fear of commitment?

Are you using DATING apps/sites, or Hookup ones to meet guys?
 
There are lots of people happy with one-and-done, and there are lots of people looking for relationships. These groups don't usually overlap though. So "I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship" vs. "why don't they call me back" seems like a mixed message, and I would definitely take a pass even though I like your thighs.

I didn't settle, and I don't recommend anyone should settle. I found my guy in my 20s when we were both looking for a relationship, and that's how I wanted to get to know him. Not with a quick fuck and see how things go. We were after something permanent from the start, and so mostly we were figuring out if that would work for both of us. But if either of us had wanted to start out with something casual, it would have never happened. We were attractive to each other...and then didn't fuck...until we figured out that we were both into building a life together.

But what passes my test is not the same as yours. If you're looking for someone who can begin casual and then switch to long term, expect it will take a while to find the right guy.
 
Hmmm well I'm using hookup apps Lol but I am stating what I'm looking for and what kind of guy I am. What are some good DATING apps to use?

I've only used Grindr/A4A/CraigsList. I have good bios on all of them.
 
jubdown5 said:
Hmmm well I'm using hookup apps Lol but I am stating what I'm looking for and what kind of guy I am. What are some good DATING apps to use?

I've only used Grindr/A4A/CraigsList. I have good bios on all of them.
Click to expand...

People on those sites don't read Bios. They look at a pic and decide if they want to Fuck or not.

Okcupid is claimed to be a dating site, but don't expect them to NOT have flakes on there too. I used to chat on gay.com a lot, but it too was mixed with those looking for LTR and the Cum&Runners.
 
borg69unimatrix said:
People on those sites don't read Bios. They look at a pic and decide if they want to Fuck or not.

Okcupid is claimed to be a dating site, but don't expect them to NOT have flakes on there too. I used to chat on gay.com a lot, but it too was mixed with those looking for LTR and the Cum&Runners.
Click to expand...

Hmmm well I've decided to take a break for now. I've been pretty permiscuous over the past 2 months Lol so I'm just slowing down. Gonna take new pics, get tested just to be on the safe side and come up with a new bio.

Tired of constantly checking Grindr/A4A/CL constantly. Maybe next month I'll make a return.

I need new methods of finding guys.
 
Post the pic's here at JUB. You never know! Probably a lot of NY'ers here !?!? :)
 
reone said:
Wait, so are you looking for a relationship or someone to just casually have sex with? I'm a little confused as to what you are searching for from your posts. Are you sure that you know which one you actually want or are prepared for at this time? OkCupid is good, but even on there people express that they are looking for different things. I would suggest knowing exactly what you want and then trying to find that.
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I really just want a friend with benefits. A guy I can be friends with and go places with, but also mess around with. I do ultimately want a relationship, but I'd like a steady FWB. Someone who is just as into me as I'm into them and it could be 9pm on a Thursday night and we'll just decide to hang out/mess around.

Pretty much just mutual attraction and good conversation...
 
reone said:
I say try OkCupid when you decide to give it another go if you haven't already. Plenty of people on there are looking for that kind of setup, with the potential for more. Plus I would imagine that it gives you a little more information about the person that you'd be potentially talking to than hook-up apps so you'll know if there's a lot in common.. Good luck!

Beautiful body, also <3.
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yeah I think that'll be my next step. gonna relax for now and just come on JUB Lol. maybe I'll get back on the scene in a couple of weeks.
 
Besides knowing what you like in guys, do you know what you're looking for?

If you're looking for a relationship, then going out on dates and spending time with them before sex is the way to go. You have no problem meeting guys, but as soon as things get physical, the chase is over for many. Hold out until you're sure this is the person you want to invest time in!
 
Dude you live in NYC. The metro area is 18 Million and there are gay bars, clubs, restaurants, sports leagues, etc. you might have to leave long island, but you shouldnt have this much trouble finding someone if you are as good of a catch as you say you are.

Meet people at the Gym. also, "high top sneakers" isnt necessarily a quality you should be looking for in a person even if just for an fb...those can be bought.

Make 2 lists, 1 for fb and 1 for a bf, and narrow each of those lists down to 5 qualities. Then start holding casting calls at various gyms in the area. ..| But seriously then start looking for those things.

Also start using video chat. should eliminate the pictures not being accurate thing.
 
"Friend with benefits with potential for more..."

Run far from any variant of that if you are looking for a FWB. Because in my experience it starts out fine and then suddenly the "why aren't you calling me" starts, and the expectation creeps in, then he's full on stalking you and looking through your cell phone.

The FWB, probably the most elusive beast. I'm kinda joking above, but kinda not. Most guys out there contrary to conventional wisdom are not capable of sustained sexual relationships that don't develop emotional ties. That has been my experience. Sooner or later, one side of the FWB starts down that path.

The most successful FWB situations I've seen are between guys who've known each other for years, or guys who already dated and broke up.

Why exactly is this what you're looking for? What needs does it serve you can't get otherwise?
 
TX-Beau said:
"Friend with benefits with potential for more..."

Run far from any variant of that if you are looking for a FWB. Because in my experience it starts out fine and then suddenly the "why aren't you calling me" starts, and the expectation creeps in, then he's full on stalking you and looking through your cell phone.

The FWB, probably the most elusive beast. I'm kinda joking above, but kinda not. Most guys out there contrary to conventional wisdom are not capable of sustained sexual relationships that don't develop emotional ties. That has been my experience. Sooner or later, one side of the FWB starts down that path.

The most successful FWB situations I've seen are between guys who've known each other for years, or guys who already dated and broke up.

Why exactly is this what you're looking for? What needs does it serve you can't get otherwise?
Click to expand...

well I want a boyfriend, but not everyone is looking for a relationship sooo a FWB is the next best thing. also, I don't want to mess around with a bunch of people. would rather have 1 or a small few.
 
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