Do you fall in love fast & hard?

[wooffy]

Inspired by another thread: guys, do you fall in love fast and hard, or does it take time for you? Do you have "warning signs" that tell you this guy is "it"?

 

[Yuki Sohma]

..., do you (I) fall in love fast and hard, or does it take time for you?

Oh how I do fall in love fast & hard. From my very first post on JUB I've had to be very, very careful because I know that if I am not careful I could easily run away with oh so many of you beautiful JUBers (of course only if any of you would have me ).

 

[Lucas07]

I get infatuated. And when I'm really into someone, I'm really into them. BUT i think i don't fall that easily. I'm quite guarded. I won't fall unless I see/feel/know that they are falling for me too. Takes two to tango

 

[Audio Tech]

I did just once at 22. The problem was that I was in the closet and he was straight. 24 years later I still think of him every single day. To me, in my heart, he WAS the one. I am absolutely certain that had he been gay, I would have risked EVERYTHING to be out and with him. Such is life...

The up shoot is that it probably will never happen to me again. And that's just fine by me. I'm older, wiser, and far more careful with my feelings.

 

[wooffy]

Interesting answers! So what are your signs that you are about to go nuts for a guy?

 

[Audio Tech]

Interesting answers! So what are your signs that you are about to go nuts for a guy?

Back then? My heart would literally skip beats. Hard to explain... it felt like a huge rush and like I was about to die all in the same moment.

Today.... I don't know. Hasn't happened again.

 

[wooffy]

Interesting answers! So what are your signs that you are about to go nuts for a guy?

Fair enough I answer my own question. Two things clue me in:

First, I get very unsure of myself around the guy. Usually, once I know interest is mutual, I get very aggressive and take what I want. If I find myself hesitating, stammering, etc. its usually a sign that this is more than sex for me.

Step two is my big wake-up call that I could fall in love with the guy - I start thinking of taking him home to meet my life-partner. That has been a consistent pattern for years (and what's funny is that something similar happens to my partner). Sort of a polyamorous version of thinking a boyfriend home to meet the parents.

That's actually what prompted this thread. I was making out with a guy I have known for years at a bar last weekend, and actually blurted out at one point, "next time you're in town I want you to come home and meet my partner." I knew the interest was not just sexual, but didn't clue in to the depth of feeling. He will be in town next month - I may be in big, big trouble - the good kind!

 

[Lube]

For me, the infatuation stage is certainly hard & fast. I know who I like right away. The right type will make me weak-kneed the instant I first see him. It's a combination of body type and seeing their eyes. You can tell a lot about a guy instantly just by his eyes.

But actually falling in love takes time.

 

[treanir]

^ That. Except for the falling in love part, since I have no experience in that area. My infatuations have all ended in tears.

 

[Echoes]

In my case, it takes me time to fall in love with somebody. I usually develop a "liking" right away and I know who I fancy but details are the ones who make me fall in love. I like playing it by ear in relationships and not follow a routine, slightly details mean much more to me and make me fall deeper and deeper as time goes by. As far as I'm concerned I've only fallen in love once.

 

[wooffy]

Just to clarify, actually falling "in love" takes some time for me as well (with one exception), but I know pretty damn quick if its likely to happen with a guy.

 

[evanrick]

its always a slow process for me. the worst part is having no control over it.

 

[irudesan]

Ive only fallen really one time, and yes, there were warning signs... like i started to think A LOT in the guy, and i started to worry about him, and that stuff. I just started to think, but why am i worrying this much for xxxx? And then it hit me... That was after 6 months of knowing him, and seeing him as a friend only, then i started to have feelings for him.

But that was 7 years ago, it hasnt happened again with other guy.

 

[Prestobesto]

Admiration is the emotion furthest from understanding.

If a guy really admires me too soon, whether it's for sex or romance, it's over.

I will fall hard for a guy where there is mutual attraction that comes from mutual understanding. Maybe someone who didn't look twice at me until he got to know me, and now he can't look anywhere else.

Kinda idealisitc, but my hand is doing a good job in the interim.

 

[MrCreative]

I've been let down by so many guys that I sometimes think (even though I'm only 22) that I'll end up alone. I used to feel like I had to be in a relationship because I felt lonely, but lately I've been wanting to get to know a guy that likes having his own life separate from mine. Looking back--I think I'd come on too strong with guys because I was lonely.. guys like me (back then) turn me off completely.



Hope you're all having a good night