Do you think he is gay?

[confusedboy23]

I think I will probably want to try out KaraBulut's suggested answers if and when I get a chance next week.....

Riverrick - thanks for the input. Yes, it is somewhat deja vu! But, this time it's better. I don't feel as depressed and I feel stronger than before.

I guess I am just mad at the fact that he has said this before.....
"You travel a lot and I think not many people will be able to handle that lifestyle. But I can, me!".

Although he did laugh it off, he's been dropping a lot "MEs" in his messages to me.

Today, I promised myself not to text him first. But, he texted me randomly today. I replied, he continued....we continued texting. Do friends really do that everyday?!

I did try and throw in his bf into my texts.....

Him : Hi...... (1pm)
Me : bla bla bla (1.02pm)
Him : bla bla bla (1.03pm)
Me : bla bla bla (1.04pm)
Him : bla bla bla (1.07pm)
Me : no wonder you're so tired. you must havebeen on the phone with your boy. haha. (1.08pm)
******
Him : yeah, after speaking to you. he came home so we talked for a bit. (1.55pm)

WTH??!! Why did it take him an hour to reply me when I mentioned his bf??!!

Then, the messages were back to normal intervals again!

It doesn't help at all when he tells me that he's only been speaking to his bf for an hour BUT with me for like 6 hours last night!!!!

He even mentioned last nights in our phone conversation "I don't really worry about our relationship. We don't always call because I fully trust him. I think as long as we have each other in our hearts, it's all good".

Sorry, but I am just trying to get all these thoughts out from my head.....thanks for reading.

 

[Ganoderma]

It is odd for someone in a relationship to be talking for 3+ hour with another gay guy that he just met.

I tend to disagree with this statement of KaraBulut.

Towards my opinion, there is a huge range of the sort of relationship that exists between 2 persons who are committed to each other, be it a male / male couple, a female / female couple, or a male / female couple. People are not equal to each other in many, many aspects, and that's also the case for 2 people who are committed to each other.

OP (= Confusedboy23) has not provided us with these kind of details. So we don't know anything about it. Towards my opinion, there is no rule where it is told that its not allowed for a gay guy to have lengthy discussions with another gay guy, when he is committed to a bf.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confusedboy23, great to read that this guy his gaydar was telling him that you were a gay. No big deal for him. Maybe some of your female co-workers have a similar gaydar, and have already identified / classified you as 'not into females'.

On the other hand, I think its very important to realize yourself that you have already enough confidence in your own sexual orientation, that you are talking / behaving to other gays in a way that they can register 'wow, that sweet guy is also one'. In contrast, (almost all) straight guys will have no notion at all what's going on.

Good luck and I would like to wish you a nice weekend.

 

[confusedboy23]

I think we will just remain as friends for now......

We sent each other Facebook emails today and in one reply, he told me all about his bf (we shall call him ABC). He had been dating ABC for 4 years then they broke up because he was having an affair with another boy. This boy had been waiting for him for 3 years already. They hit it off for 10 months and decided to call it quits. He and ABC met up one fine day, and decided to get back together and are now still together. ABC lives in a far away country......

I wrote back to him telling I am very happy for him, I wish him the best, and hope that we can be good friends. I even said "please shortlist other candidates for me."

He does sound like a genuine boy but.....maybe a little immature? I don't know and I don't want to judge.

He is still texting me......a lot! Maybe he needs a friend too.

All that I hope is that he minimises the "i hope you don't dream of me" or "get wet dreams thinking of me". I mean, these are uncalled for especially when he 'senses' that I have been falling for him.

I am feeling pretty strong and I hope that if anything at all, this episode has given me more courage to more honest and direct.

 

[TX-Beau]

that's not a very flattering portrait of weshallcallhimABC you make him sound like a cheater.

It's not really being a genuine guy running around telling other guys things you know your boyfriend would not appreciate.

You really need to take Kara's advice and shut that down.

 

[aijalon18]

Yea this does sound like a friend situation would be best. Clearly he's no angel. But at least he is being honest. Most people wouldnt admit to cheating for fear of being judged.

And honestly it sounds like ABC and his ex's have mostly been in situations where most of their relationship has been long distance. So i would cut him some slack.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well, everyone is assuming he's being honest, but frankly, that whole scenario sounds like a lead in.

"...yes I have a guy, but I cheated on him before...and he got over it...so tell me how much you want to suck my cock...come on, tell me how much you want me..."

Right. Fact, you know he's saying things to you he wouldn't say in front of his guy. Fact, you are kinda encouraging this. Fact he's taken.

All the rest is pretty much heresay.

What do you do? You don't do anything you wouldn't want someone esle to do to you. If it was your boyfriend would you want him having three hour long conversations with some guy wherein they were telling each other how hot for each other's cocks they were?

It may sound all melty and romantic from your perspective, but it's really not from the boyfriend's. Thankfully that's as far as things have progressed.

So be a friend to him, his boyfriend, and yourself and cut that line of conversation off before it goes anywhere bad.

 

[confusedboy23]

I guess TX-Beau has a point.

I'd be lying if I said that I've never suspected that he was trying to get into my pants but frankly, getting naked with him was the last thing on my mind since the moment I've met him.

I had all along wanted to be a friend with him but I think the feelings somehow developed over the past week but no, I wouldn't be sleeping with him, just yet. Definitely not now when I know that he's attached.

Then again, maybe I've read the signals all wrong from the very start. Could it well be that he never intended to go any further than developing a friendship with me? As Ganoderma has pointed out, there is no rule out there that says that an attached cannot have a sincere friendship another person. I do communicate very often with close friends of mine, and can spend hours chatting on the phone with them, but definitely with no flirting. I just don't know what he's up to.....

 

[Rolyo85]

Then again, maybe I've read the signals all wrong from the very start. Could it well be that he never intended to go any further than developing a friendship with me....

No it could not. Uncertainty and insecurity are one thing, but - pardon my bluntness - you are allowing them to turn into stupidity. Surely you are not THAT blind.

 

[HunterM]

Be a good buddy to him. If he breaks up with his boyfriend, you'll be on his mind.

 

[confusedboy23]

Interesting......

Me : Hey, you should go check out the restaurants there and take me there when I visit.
Him : Yeah. Which one? ME?
Me : Haha. I would like to try the fusion one.
Him : I thought you wanted to eat me.
Me : You're naughty. I'll tell your bf. lol.
Him : Being funny and playful keeps you young.
Me : Cool, I should take some lessons from you about staying young.
Him : Find someone for sex.
Me : So, you sleep around?
Him : Nah, I can't. But you can, you're single.
Me : Sorry, not my thing.....anyway, I have to go now....

I did have to go at that point in time.....

He's one interesting guy.....

If he's really interested in JUST getting into my pants, I must say that he is one in a million. I've never met a guy who would spend so much time pursuing just sex. Or maybe, he is just playful!

I mean, c'mon, there's hundreds of dudes in his area on Manhunt!

 

[Charmander]

I'll talk sexually and playfully with someone if they play along, I'm not a big slut. I don't think anyway xD

 

[analvirgin]

no dude, not when you just me. he wants you