Does he want me?!!! Loooooong story

[FukinSeksi]

Ok this is so weird because for the first time, I'm fallin for someone that has an equal amount of "teasing" skills as myself.

Ok, for starters, I came out to one of my friends about 3 months ago. He asked if I was gay and I told him I was bi. He said it was cool and he didn't have a problem with it. Supposedly he's straight but he never actually told me if he was or wasn't. He got a lot of girls flockin to him. He's been gettin real close to me the past few weeks. I've been spending nights at his house maybe every other weekend. When we're in his room and we're laying down, he says "you can lay on my chest if you want. I don't care" So whenever we lay down on his bed, we're hugged up with eachother. Now remember, he's "straight". On late nights he says things like "I need some head bad!" Then he looks at me and smile. When I don't react to it, he'll say it again. I asked "well do you want me to give you that?" He said "no" with a smile. I'm so confused about him. Last week he got mad at me because I was on the phone with a guy and I didn't tell him who the guy on the phone was. So he basically cursed me out because I didn't tell him who it was. Then when there's days I don't see him, he calls and tells me he misses me and wanna be with me. When were together, it's like heaven for the first night but that night turns into mayhem because we end up arguing all day long the next day. He tells me he loves me but he's "straight" I have never had feelins for someone like I have for him and his flirtin skills are equal to mine. We got into an argument last night and this mornin I was trying to talk to him and he ignored me the entire day. I sat on his couch trying to talk to him but he was just givin me these lazy answers like he was tired of me. He would sit up and talk to girls on the phone all day. Then after he hangs up with them, he turns around and hugs up on me. I know this sounds a blur but I'm just typin from the heart right now. How can he hug up with me and tell me he loves and misses me and sings love songs to me and still be "straight"? I'm just at a lost here. I want him so bad

 

[rareboy]

Run like hell.

He's a head case.

Life is too short to play mindfuck control games with psychos.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Run like hell.

He's a head case.

Life is too short to play mindfuck control games with psychos.

I'd do the very same thing as the rareboy here.

But I am not you and since you say that you are 'a flirt' and that you have found your number, there you go. Enjoy the ride.

Gay or not, he is still not ready for anything but feeding his own sagging ego. He is flirting with tons of girls but is certainly doing nothing more than the usual brag.

He wants your head on his chest but he ain't ready for anything else.

Taken that you want him and care for him, you may be willing to sit, suffer and wait till he gets ready.

Good Luck. You need tons of it.

SC

 

[FukinSeksi]

Thanks for everyones advice. As much as I wanna let my feelings for him go, it's just not that easy. I just don't want to get too caught up on him. I don't think I can deal with him talkin to other girls and he turns around and lays up with me. I've never had a problem gettin guys. He sat up and talked to this girl last night until 2am while I was layin in his bed. He hung up and layed in the bed and hugged me from behind and we fell asleep. I was so annoyed and he said "what's wrong? You look sad" I couldn't even bring myself to tell him the problem I have with him doing that. Is this a lost cause or should I take it easy. I know guys like him take a minute to get comfortable with being "in the closet" or being bi.

 

[FloridaBoi]

The next time he trys to hug up on you or wants you to lay your head on his chest tell him no thanks and when he ask' you what the problem is tell him you dont have time to play mind games with a confused closet case.


-Matthew

 

[rareboy]

^ What he says................

If you really want to find out how to fuck up your life really good, keep letting him treat you like his little pet.

Tell him to put up or shut up.

 

[FukinSeksi]

I think I'm gettin there. He tried to hug up on me and I pushed him away. Then he said "come lay on my chest and keep me warm" I said "no thanks" He goes "what's wrong?" I said "nothing" So now he's real distant from me. We were laying in his bed but I kind of distanced myself from him on his bed. Keeping him from huggin on me. It's hard to resist his hugs and his body scent but I'm working on it. I can't help but to sound sad when he talks to me now.

 

[orem244]

Just tell him exactly what you're feeling. It doesn't sound like you'd be losing much of a friend anyway.

 

[rareboy]

I said "nothing"

We just keep pitching them and you keep missing them.

What is so hard about just being honest? And what the fuck are you still curled up on his bed for?

I'm beginning to think that you like the idea of being tragic.

If you want to see what this can look like, read the serial opus by Lost Vegas.

 

[FukinSeksi]

We just keep pitching them and you keep missing them.

What is so hard about just being honest? And what the fuck are you still curled up on his bed for?

I'm beginning to think that you like the idea of being tragic.

If you want to see what this can look like, read the serial opus by Lost Vegas.

I just couldn't bring myself to say what was wrong. I was only laying on his bed because I was at his house for the weekend. Last night I tried to break it down to him as much as I could. I pretty much said "When you're ready to stop playin mind games, let me know" He said "what mind games?" I said "how can you lay up with me huggin on me and sit in my face and talk to a girl on the phone?" He couldn't even give me an answer. Only thing he could really say was "I don't know. I'm afraid of crossin that line with you" So I told him "Well when you're ready to cross the line, I'll be right here".

 

[najfus]

Hod did he respond to that?

 

[FukinSeksi]

Hod did he respond to that?

His response was silent. He gave me an "Ok" but obviously he was kinda sad by it. I was too, I can't even lie. He called me today askin what I had planned. I told him I was goin to starbucks pretty much. I asked him what he was doing and you know what he said? "I'm going to go fuck this girl real quick" Was I hurt? Hell fuckin yea I was. I almost hung up in his face but I relaxed and said "ok". He's the first guy to make me cry over something like this. I should have distanced myself before I got attached. All of the guys I can get, I just can't pull myself from him

 

[tallguy297]

Hey mate,

As much as we want to somehow control it, we just cannot help who we fall for. We just cant turn off our emotions and not care. Its impossible. We fall for who we fall for and thats it. Hook line and sinker.

Mate... there are 2 battles going on here... and you are only involved in one of them.

Theres no doubt that your emotions are being torn in 2 by your friend... but I'd almost bet he's clueless to the effect that its having on you. Since you pushed him away a little I'm sure hes starting to realize but even still I'm certain he has no idea the depth of your feelings for him.

More than that though is the battle hes having with himself. I'm sure hes so confused he cant think straight. His swinging wildly from lusting playfulness to silence is the sign of a guy trying to come to terms with his own thoughts. His talk about the girls just reinforces his own insecurities. Right now mate he is so scared of himself he doesnt know what to do. He knows who he is but he cant bring himself to accept it.

FS... your posts reveal a caring loyal loving guy. A person whos ability to accept and forgive is obvious. A person who deserves to be held and cherished and wanted. You're a guy who shouldnt be on the end of a situation like this.

But this is where your heart has lead you. So you have to make a choice. Cut and run... or try and sort things out a little. And I know you dont want to cut and run.

All you can do is talk to him. Tell him what you have told us... word for word. Dont pressure him, dont force him or rush him into making choices... he'll simply run away and be lost to you. Create a place where he feels safe and trusting and can be confident in talking to you. By being brutally honest about who you are and how you feel and how you hurt, you'll open him up too. It will take time...I wouldnt expect him to come rushing out of the closet, but the fact that he physically expresses himself to you with the hugging and chest thing means that emotionally hes not too far away from confiding in the right person.

Its not going to be easy FS. But it seems to me that you cant walk away from this guy right now or ever until you know theres no hope. But somehow I dont think you'd abandon your friend when hes struggling anyway... you're not that sort of guy.

You deserve happiness and love FS. It'll come... it might be a bit of a journey... but with risk comes reward... and you see both. May the rewards be all you want and more.