does he want me to be his boyfriend?

[civiccentre]

A friend of a friend asked me out almost 2 weeks ago. we'd only had a few msn convos & 1 phone call in the 2 weeks prior to that but that was apparently enough to spark his interest. So we had a lunch & coffee date last week, and it went great, we got along really well, he was very friendly with me, great chemistry between us i suppose. Then he proceeded to call me on a nightly basis afterward, we'd have plenty of late night calls, and he confessed that he "wanted to go out with me again". Our conversatoins were uber-casual for the most part but he'd have occasional moments of just gushing to me like that.

And so I ended up seeing him again yesterday, we went to see a horror movie in the afternoon, and our seating arrangement gradually progressed from us leaning our shoulders against each other to him in my arms lol . It was sweet, I just came out a few months ago & havent done a whole lot of dating, so this is all new to me. Whereas he's been out for 7 years and has dated around a lot, fooled around a little (but i dont think he's had a real bf before, and i sure as hell haven't)
So I tried to kiss him a little, but then he whispered to me that he really liked me and didn't want us to become just "making out and sex and all that". i was a bit surprised cuz i know he's made out with people he didn't care about. I said OK, whatever u like, we kept cuddling and proceeded to suck on each other's fingers lol. im like huh? but i played along. Afterward he said to me he was sorry but he really liked me and was paranoid that if we continued making out, "one thing would lead to another" .. and i have a feeling this has happened to him before with dire results. So i'm like OK, but then we walk all around downtown holding hands ( ! ) which i've never doen with a guy b4. we even kissed quickly in public, at the bus station in front of the crowd. seemed pretty damn risky to me lol, is this a sign that i mean a lot to him?

So. based on his actions, and his choosing not to get too physical with me now, is this a good thing? i've never had a bf before and i don't think he has either. i think about him all the time, i want to be with him, i can't fathom how i'll ever find someone as great as this guy again.

 

[G-Lexington]

Well, honestly, the person you really should discuss this with is HIM. He knows the answers better than any of us do.

That said, my guess is that he really likes you, and he'd like a relationship with you. He probably has ended up in bed with guys quickly in the past, and those relationships may not have ended well. I'm assuming he wants to build the relationship up outside the bedroom before taking it inside.

Assuming I'm right, it's up to you what to do. You can accept that, or you can tell him what YOU'd like. Maybe you'd like to hop in the sack tonight. If so, you have every right to tell him so.

Lex

 

[CanadianGuy]

I think he really likes you and just wants things to go slowly. I have rushed things and the result usually is just lots of hot sex with little substance in the relationship.

That whole sucking on fingers thing in the movie theater is kind of weird.

 

[natedogg323]

I think he's crushing on you big time and he's afraid to take things way too fast in fear of scaring you away.

You really need to talk to him and make sure that and him are on the same page. You don't want him to start falling in love with you if your not ready for that type of relationship. But it sounds like he's a really good guy at least he's taking your feelings into consideration.

 

[Leavemealone]

wow.
your a one lucky dude.
like g-luxington said.
talk to him.

 

[silentalk]

Listen, don't let this guy go away!

What he's doing - according to what I know - only means one thing: His crush is much bigger than you might think. If you guys end up in a relationship, he'll love you more than most people will. This guys is different! Perhaps you don't realize how lucky you are. I'm ready to trade places anytime!

Do NOT let him go!

 

[youngnihilist]

That's sweet. I agree with the others. Best of luck!

 

[asahibeer]

Mate, I'm jealous. Sounds like a sweet guy who's very into you. Hold on tight.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

It all looks and sounds very good.

Make sure that he does not become the sole force ruling the whole dynamics of things. Do not push your envelope too far, but make sure that you maintain your say in the matter, too. Good relationships are always the works of two partners.

One more word of caution. Taking it nice, slow and easy sounds all good. Yet, only to an extent. Sex is an essential part of gay relationships and you want your future relationship to grow harmoniously together, hand in hand, romance and sex, if you will. Being romantic only for few weeks may be quite alright. However, working yourself emotionally up before you achieve a degree of certainty that you two are truly compatible in bedroom, might not be the smartest thing to do.

So, you do your part, too. Talk with him and tell him that you don't want to take it too fast but that doing it too slowly would not be to your liking either. A good speed is what is needed now.

SC

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Give yourself maximum exposure to him and your relationship will find its' natural course.
One alarming thing you might consider is he might be avoiding actual sex because he has some contagious illness. Perhaps something like herpes vs HIV.
Another possibility is that he might be extremely "small" and could have had other guys lose interest because of it.
Both of the above are probably far fetched concepts, it just seems odd that he doesn't want to take things to the next level.
He also could just have some old fashioned ideas about how quickly a relationship should progress.
Time will tell, and hopefully you both will find happiness together.

 

[civiccentre]

you guys bring up good points, esp g-lexington who told me I should be discussing this issue with him. Well I did, and.. turns out he's good to go with us being boyfriends. It turns out, he was wondering the same about me, whether we are friends or dating or more? He has the EXACT same concerns as me. After I reassured him, he told me he didn't want to ruin something that could end up being very special, that's why he told me to stop kissing him. He told me that more than anything he wanted to make out with me and touch me, but if we had continued, this would have turned into another one of his short lived semi-sexual flings, and that I was worth too much to him for that.

thanks guys! i sure won't let him go now.

 

[confusedboy23]

OMG! He is such a wonderful guy and like many have said here, you are such a lucky boy! Hold on tight to him and I'm wishing you all the happiness that you could ever want with him.