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Does my friend think I'm gay?

bhandsome

bhandsome

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Me and one of my fraternity brothers were driving on our way to go out of town and he randomly asked me if I am bi-curious. Let it be known that he was drunk and never asked me anything like this before. Its just out of the blue for him to ask that. He went on to ask if I was and I basically asked why. He went on to explain that if I was he would still accept me for who I am and to be who I should be instead of putting on a front to everyone. That hiding my feelings and not coming out is only hurting me. Maybe he asked that cause I have never has sex or been with a girl...

Idk if it was a chance for me to tell him I have feelings for guys but I wasn't ready to tell him that. Right now I'm still trying to figure out my feelings before I come out to anyone, but it was good to know how he feels or thinks of me. This is really good to know about him, especially because I have a feeling that my frat brothers would look at me completely different if they knew I had feelings for guys, not all of them, but some would be ignorant about it; something I will have to learn to accept.

Has anyone had an experience like this?
 
You have a good friend in him. Just because you come out to him doesn't mean you have to come out to everyone. Here's a hint: if he's asking you, he already knows. He's figured it out and it's not because you don't do stuff with girls. Sometimes friends just know. They can sense it.

He does not seem like the type of guy who would tell anyone else.
 
This has happened to me a few times. In each time, the person already knew--they just wanted me to be open with them about it. I suspect this might be the case with your friend. The fact that he was drunk may have meant that his inhibitions were down and it was more easy for him to ask you that.

A couple of times when this has happened, and I confirmed it, it was the opening the other person needed to come out to me also. Instead of just coming out to me and letting me do the same, they went the other way and asked me first and, if so, felt free to come out too.

I have no idea if your friend was trying to do that too. Only you would know if there's any possibility of that.

Anyway, you handled it well and didn't divulge any more than you were comfortable with at that time. If and when you do come out, it sounds like he's someone who is accepting and will remain a true friend.
 
Well I'm sure the convo started off in a way to lead to him asking the question, but I don't remember being I was drunk too !oops!

I feel like its getting closer and making me more comfortable for me to slowly learn to accept my sexuality and myself. :=D: to myself
 
I had a similar experience, I had a fraternity brother who I am very close to who had already graduated ask me randomly one day. I didn't know what to say so I just looked him in the eyes and said "yes." He said it was fine, and that he wouldn't say anything if I didn't want him to, he just wanted to know because his now-wife told him she thought I was (she has much better gaydar I guess). But I only told him bc he's an old friend and I trust him. Most people I would have probably blown off the question (no pun intended) and denied it, just to keep things from getting awkward at school...but to each his own.
 
Sweetwater said:
I had a similar experience, I had a fraternity brother who I am very close to who had already graduated ask me randomly one day. I didn't know what to say so I just looked him in the eyes and said "yes." He said it was fine, and that he wouldn't say anything if I didn't want him to, he just wanted to know because his now-wife told him she thought I was (she has much better gaydar I guess). But I only told him bc he's an old friend and I trust him. Most people I would have probably blown off the question (no pun intended) and denied it, just to keep things from getting awkward at school...but to each his own.
Click to expand...

That's exactly how I feel about telling certain people. It sucks that I can't tell everyone due to their perspective on gay people but I have to do whats best for me. That's why I can't wait till I graduate cause I feel once I move and start my life after college I can just be honest with everyone I meet.

I really want to come out and I know I'm young and have time to decide but I'm already impatient so it's hard for me to wait lol
 
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