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Does the pain ever go away?

Audio Tech

Audio Tech

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I'm having one of those melancholy days...... Listening to Soma FM on the net, thinking of my friend from long ago.

I loved him... I still love him. We did so may things together... Everything except outright fuck, that is. I think he was curious at best, as we certainly got naked a few times. Had some wonderful, crazy incredible and very close times. Just to BE with him was wonderful.

But even many years later, I think of him a lot. It physically hurts every time I do.
While our friendship was not sexual, it was something very, very special.

Yeah, I know.... there are many threads about this sort of thing. And I know that it's stupid. But I just cannot forget him. Even if I find another soul mate, I wonder if the pain will ever go away.... sigh.

Well, I just felt like venting a bit. I'll probably feel better tomorrow again.
 
I know what you mean. Some love and scars just fade away, no matter how much time has passed.

Usually I think about it, get embarrassed then pissed at myself for being human. THEN I go watch something with lots of hot guys, something funny, ice cream. I tend to forget about the pain and the memories after the ice cream.
 
Sometimes you might knowingly tap into the saddness by listening, watching or going to certain places. Times that you don't want that would be the times you avoid the triggers. When it comes up on it's own you could try acknowledging the feelings/memories by saying to yourself something like, I'm glad that I learned about love from _________. I don't have time to dwell in the past right now. I hope to have these same positive fellings for another person one day soon. Another technique would be to give yourself a certain amount of time once a week at the same time to think about him. If thoughts came up at other times you would postpone thinking about them until the designated time.

What I'm getting at is finding a way to look forward rather than backwards.
 
Speaking from experience. It gets easier over time.. Was with a friend, like you say, for 12 years.. Every day it gets easier, just have to wait it out. You'll find the right guy to sweep you off your feet, and you'll be happy for what happened in the past. You'll be grateful you lost that person, because you have a better person now. :)
 
I know how it feels. sometimes a noise, scent, place cam trigger old wounds. It gets easier to deal with with time. But it will always hurt.... just not much
 
where is he now?
Are you both still friends ? if yes how close?
 
Where is he now? He sounds more than curious.
 
Lube said:
Where is he now? He sounds more than curious.
Click to expand...

He's married, 3 kids, 60 pounds heavier. Yes, we are still friends, in fact we'll hang out a bit next week. But the past is gone. He made his choice. I made mine.


Oh... and it's tomorrow, and I DO feel a lot better.... hehehe.
 
The pain never goes away unless you decide to do something with it;

Cherish it for what it was, and feel thankful that you're still friends. Put it this way - you have/had something that others could never experience, or have lost.
 
texan_slant said:
The pain never goes away unless you decide to do something with it;

Cherish it for what it was, and feel thankful that you're still friends. Put it this way - you have/had something that others could never experience, or have lost.
Click to expand...

Yep. I'm glad we are still friends. Good friends. And I do wish him all the best.
 
So we hung out a bit today. I told him everything. I told him I owed him the truth, as his friend, regardless of the consequences. Well, we are still best of friends. Probably better. He is awesome! It was a great feeling to be totally and without the slightest reservation accepted for who I am.

I'll always love him, and that's ok. He has his life, and I have mine. But we'll stay in touch more now than we used to.

TRUE friends are one's greatest treasure. I am truly blessed.

It gets easier every time....
 
bw92116 said:
I think you never lose 100% of your feelings you had for someone. You can probably lose 99% of the pain or emotional response but that 1% will be there always and usually 1% doesn't affect you too much. Each time you cry about it, you heal a little more and move forward a little more. You shed a few more % points. Eventually it gets to the point where it's just a memory and it doesn't hurt.
Click to expand...

memory is an interesting subject.
Anyone still remember vividly when they were under 10 ?

I only remember bits and pieces and it seems so far in the past.
 
Best solution is to find someone else to love. You will be surprised how you can feel the same feelings for someone else. It is true that you will most likely never forget those feelings but once you love again or find a similar relationship again, it is easier to move on with life.

I have a friend who I once fell in love with. He is now married with kids and we are still friends. I no longer feel the same though as far as love. But our friendship is as good as it ever was. I respect his marriage and I realized there was no point in worrying about something I could not control. So I focused on our friendship and things have been great.

Best of luck to you!
 
heartfly77 said:
Best solution is to find someone else to love. You will be surprised how you can feel the same feelings for someone else. It is true that you will most likely never forget those feelings but once you love again or find a similar relationship again, it is easier to move on with life.

I have a friend who I once fell in love with. He is now married with kids and we are still friends. I no longer feel the same though as far as love. But our friendship is as good as it ever was. I respect his marriage and I realized there was no point in worrying about something I could not control. So I focused on our friendship and things have been great.

Best of luck to you!
Click to expand...


And that is EXACTLY what I am doing. It's an odd coincidence that this happened just after I started this thread because I was so down and thinking of him.

Maybe I should start another thread on needing to get fucked.... :twisted:
 
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