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A short one-act play I wrote during a boring summer vacation a couple of years ago. Keep in mind that the sex is brief and rather softcore. So, if you were looking for something steamy to make you feel horny, turn back now.
(A thin, pale young male makes his way inside of Dark Entries, a gothic bar. He’s wearing a shirt bearing the artwork for The Cure’s Disintegration, black jeans, black lipstick, and gothic-styled black boots. He sits down on one of the stools next to the bartender’s main area of work, and takes his phone out to connect to the bar’s Wi-Fi. The bartender, a gothic young woman but wearing the bar’s uniform rather than casual attire, recognizes the client, and walks up to him. “Romeo’s Distress” by Christian Death is playing on the bar’s speakers.)
BARTENDER: Hey, Jimmy. Where the hell have you been? It’s been a long time since you came here, I thought you kicked the bucket.
JIMMY: Hey, Vanessa. Can I get a Robert Smith? Nah, I was just taking a sabbatical, is all. And it’s only been about a week and a half, not really long enough to be a “long time.”
VANESSA: Well, you’re a daily customer. So for me, it’s a long time. (Grabs the materials needed for the drink and gets to work) So, a sabbatical, huh?
JIMMY: Yeah. Someone close to me died, and I wanted to take some time off until I recovered.
VANESSA: I’m sorry to hear that. So, does you being here mean that you’re okay now?
JIMMY: Yeah, I managed to deal with the emotional distress. I mean (points at his face) look at me. Do I look sad?
VANESSA: (Stares at Jimmy’s face for about three seconds) No, but I still love your resting bitch face.
JIMMY: Thanks, it’s a gift.
VANESSA: So, how’d you crawl out of the dark abyss? Seek help from your friends and family?
JIMMY: Nah, you know that I despise my family, and I don’t have that many friends.
VANESSA: What about that one guy you often hang out with?
JIMMY: Which one?
VANESSA: The punk.
JIMMY: Oh, him. We haven’t been able to hang out that much anymore ever since he got a boyfriend. And to be honest, I don’t really need other people’s empathy to deal with depressive episodes. I can do that myself.
VANESSA: Lone wolf style, I like that. If you don’t mind me asking, who died?
JIMMY: Do you remember Danny?
VANESSA: That one cute-looking dude you wanna fuck? The one you never stop talking about? What about him? (beat) Oh, he’s the one who died?
JIMMY: Yeah. He killed himself.
VANESSA: Oh, damn. What made him call it quits?
JIMMY: It turned out that dipshit he was dating was stepping out on him. Apparently, his little heart couldn’t take it. He managed to get a hold of a gun, and blew his own brains out. But of course not before he blew out his ex’s and the dude he was fucking behind his back, too. The classic double murder-suicide, made me feel even more attracted to him; proud that he at least had the decency to take those two cunts down with him. If he didn’t, I probably would’ve murdered the motherfuckers myself. For having the audacity to damage such a sweet, angel-faced boy; my Lenore (Jimmy looks down at his phone, gliding his fingertips across an image of Danny’s bespectacled, smiling face)
VANESSA: Sounds to me like you’re still not over it, to be honest.
JIMMY: (He immediately looks up; tries to sound optimistic) Oh, no, trust me, I am. I mean (beat) I was devastated when I heard about it. I spent three days straight locked up in my apartment listening to Disintegration, Unknown Pleasures, and Closer on repeat. But I didn’t cry. You know I don’t cry easily. I was just glum. After realizing that being all mopey and shit about the whole ordeal was pointless, I decided to get out of my cave, and see him one last time so I could say goodbye. Give him one last caress. Well, last and only
.
VANESSA: Oh, really? (Hands Jimmy the “Robert Smith”) At his funeral?
JIMMY: (Takes a sip from his drink) No, at the mortuary where they kept his corpse. It turned out it was just a stone’s throw away from where I live, so I called them to ask if they still have him so I can visit him. They said yes, so-
(Jimmy walks out of a bus, and looks straight ahead towards a building that’s surrounded by flowers and kentucky bluegrass. He turns his head to the left and comes face to face with a medium-sized sign that reads Erick Lee Purkhiser Funeral Home. Letting out a sigh, he makes his way up to the entrance. He walks in, catching the eye of the receptionist.)
RECEPTIONIST: (Smiles) Good morning, may I help you?
JIMMY: Hi. I called yesterday afternoon to ask about a deceased friend of mine, his name is Daniel Foster.
JIMMY: (Narrating): Of course we weren’t really friends, he hardly knew I existed. Thankfully the worker didn’t bother questioning me.
RECEPTIONIST: (beat) Oh! Yes, I remember our conversation, you wanted to bid your farewell, right?
JIMMY: Yes.
RECEPTIONIST: (Nods his head) I’m sorry for your loss. Well, you came just in time, last I heard he’s due to be buried tomorrow morning. (Grabs a set of keys) Come along, I’ll take you to him.
(The receptionist led Jimmy to a double door marked “employees only,” then down a corridor.)
RECEPTIONIST: (Mumbling) Let’s see..B-1, B-2, B-3...Ah! Here we are. (Looks through the keys until he sees the one marked B-4. He opens the door, and holds it open for Jimmy. After they enter, the receptionist walks up the cabinets where the cadavers are stored.
RECEPTIONIST: (Mumbling) Daniel Foster...Oh, there he is. (He reaches for the handle, and opens it, revealing Danny’s corpse covered by a white sheet. It didn’t cover all of him, just down to the ankles. A toe tag was dangling on his left foot’s big toe.)
RECEPTIONIST: Whenever you’re ready. (Jimmy nodded his head as the go-ahead, and the receptionist reached up to the cadaver’s head to pull the sheet down.)
JIMMY (Narrating): You know that moment when you let out an involuntary gasp? Yeah, that happened when I saw Danny’s face look up at me. And I mean that literally, they didn’t even bother to close his eyes. They still looked beautiful even though they were glassy and vacant at that point. I put on my best pleading look, and asked the receptionist if he could leave so I could mourn Danny in solitude. He was nice enough to agree. (The second the receptionist walked out the door, Jimmy began to caress Danny’s corpse, running his hand through Danny's hair, and resting it on his cheek)
JIMMY: H-hi (beat) We didn’t really know each other that well, but (beat) I just wanted to say that I (beat) love you.
JIMMY (Narrating): I was at a complete loss for words. I didn’t know what else to say other than that. My only other instinct was to kiss him. (He bent over, closed his eyes, and kissed Danny. After holding onto the kiss for five seconds, he let it go. Jimmy opened his eyes, staring at Danny’s lifeless face which was about three inches away).
JIMMY (Narrating): After giving him the kiss that I craved for so many years, something (beat) I don’t know how to explain it (beat) just took over me. I began to crave more than just an innocent peck, I wanted to go all the way. I’ve kissed plenty of cute, live guys, but something about a cute, dead guy...his cold, pale flesh, the blueness of his luscious lips, the smell of formaldehyde emitting from him, seemed much more (beat) enticing (Jimmy grabbed Danny by the temples, and pulled him closer in order to continue kissing him. This time forcing his tongue through Danny's lips and into his mouth, his tongue wrestling with Danny's.)
JIMMY (Narrating): After what felt like an eternity, I broke the passionate make-out session. After that, I planted kisses on his neck, worked my way down his magnificent hairy chest, biting a nipple along the way, and finally down to his equally as furry stomach. (He took a quick glance to the door to make sure no one was watching, and pulled the sheet further down, revealing Danny’s genitalia.)
JIMMY (Narrating): I remember my hand trembling a little when I reached for his dick. I was like an inch away from grabbing it, but my common sense kept interfering, telling me that I’ll get caught. But at the same time, my libido kept coaxing me, repeating the words, “it’s now or never.” (Jimmy gives in, and gets a grip of Danny’s penis. After taking another glance at the door, he licked his lips, and began to perform fellatio)
JIMMY (Narrating): I’ll never forget how cold and unresponsive his cock was (beat) and gloriously big. It was actually the most enjoyable blowjob I’ve ever given. There was no moaning, or annoying phrases like “keep going, babe,” just a deathly silence. And instead of having to tolerate painful hair pulling while the guy’s hands forced me to go deeper, I was free to take control. After what felt like another eternity, I stopped, gave him another innocent peck on the lips, closed his eyes, and covered him.
JIMMY: The receptionist didn’t suspect a thing when I left. To him, I was just a sad, innocent gay boy who just finished having a morose conversation with his dead “friend.”
VANESSA: Wow. (beat) Necrophilia. I think you moved up two or three levels on the goth scale.
JIMMY: Yeah, maybe. It might sound unorthodox, but that was enough to lift my spirits. That’s what I meant when I said that I managed to deal with the depression. By fucking him, well, sucking him off. I wish I could’ve taken it to the next level and fully fucked him. And I know what you’re thinking, ‘oh, maybe it was lust instead of love.’ But nah, I’ve felt lust for plenty of guys before. After we fucked, I didn’t give a shit about them anymore since they fed my sexual appetite. Hell, a couple of them died months later, and I didn’t even bat an eye when I found out; nor did I try to locate their corpses for a final round, they did their bit. With Danny, it’s different. Sure the pain was dulled after I had sexual contact with him, but I still crave him. Not just sexually, but emotionally, too. (beat) So I guess I’m not really over his death quite yet.
VANESSA: Well, now what? Turn to booze?
JIMMY: That was my first choice, but after realizing the virtues of a dead boyfriend, I’m taking a healthier and less expensive approach. Did I mention that the receptionist told me where Danny was going to be buried?
VANESSA: You mean you’re going to-
JIMMY: Yes, live happily ever after with my corpse husband. It’s for his own good. He’ll spend his after-life being cared for by someone who’ll still love him even as he’s rotting away. (Looks down at the picture of Danny on his phone, gliding his fingertips across it again) Absorb his essence by eating a portion of him so we can be closer to each other.
VANESSA: I respect that, I really do. Good luck, I think you’ll need it.
JIMMY: Thanks. Well, I gotta go. Thanks again, this time for being a good listener.
VANESSA: No problem.
FADE OUT: (With a shovel in his hand, Jimmy is standing in front of a gravestone marked “IN LOVING MEMORY OF DANIEL FOSTER - SON AND FRIEND. An owl hoots as it watches him from a nearby tree branch)
JIMMY: Hmhm, loving, what a joke. If they really did love him, they wouldn’t abandon him underground to become worm food. But don’t worry, hun, I’ll take real good care of you. (He begins to sing as she impales the shovel in the dirt) I will kiss you, forever on nights like this. I will kiss you, and we shall be together.
Elegy
written by Charon
SCENE 1
written by Charon
SCENE 1
(A thin, pale young male makes his way inside of Dark Entries, a gothic bar. He’s wearing a shirt bearing the artwork for The Cure’s Disintegration, black jeans, black lipstick, and gothic-styled black boots. He sits down on one of the stools next to the bartender’s main area of work, and takes his phone out to connect to the bar’s Wi-Fi. The bartender, a gothic young woman but wearing the bar’s uniform rather than casual attire, recognizes the client, and walks up to him. “Romeo’s Distress” by Christian Death is playing on the bar’s speakers.)
BARTENDER: Hey, Jimmy. Where the hell have you been? It’s been a long time since you came here, I thought you kicked the bucket.
JIMMY: Hey, Vanessa. Can I get a Robert Smith? Nah, I was just taking a sabbatical, is all. And it’s only been about a week and a half, not really long enough to be a “long time.”
VANESSA: Well, you’re a daily customer. So for me, it’s a long time. (Grabs the materials needed for the drink and gets to work) So, a sabbatical, huh?
JIMMY: Yeah. Someone close to me died, and I wanted to take some time off until I recovered.
VANESSA: I’m sorry to hear that. So, does you being here mean that you’re okay now?
JIMMY: Yeah, I managed to deal with the emotional distress. I mean (points at his face) look at me. Do I look sad?
VANESSA: (Stares at Jimmy’s face for about three seconds) No, but I still love your resting bitch face.
JIMMY: Thanks, it’s a gift.
VANESSA: So, how’d you crawl out of the dark abyss? Seek help from your friends and family?
JIMMY: Nah, you know that I despise my family, and I don’t have that many friends.
VANESSA: What about that one guy you often hang out with?
JIMMY: Which one?
VANESSA: The punk.
JIMMY: Oh, him. We haven’t been able to hang out that much anymore ever since he got a boyfriend. And to be honest, I don’t really need other people’s empathy to deal with depressive episodes. I can do that myself.
VANESSA: Lone wolf style, I like that. If you don’t mind me asking, who died?
JIMMY: Do you remember Danny?
VANESSA: That one cute-looking dude you wanna fuck? The one you never stop talking about? What about him? (beat) Oh, he’s the one who died?
JIMMY: Yeah. He killed himself.
VANESSA: Oh, damn. What made him call it quits?
JIMMY: It turned out that dipshit he was dating was stepping out on him. Apparently, his little heart couldn’t take it. He managed to get a hold of a gun, and blew his own brains out. But of course not before he blew out his ex’s and the dude he was fucking behind his back, too. The classic double murder-suicide, made me feel even more attracted to him; proud that he at least had the decency to take those two cunts down with him. If he didn’t, I probably would’ve murdered the motherfuckers myself. For having the audacity to damage such a sweet, angel-faced boy; my Lenore (Jimmy looks down at his phone, gliding his fingertips across an image of Danny’s bespectacled, smiling face)
VANESSA: Sounds to me like you’re still not over it, to be honest.
JIMMY: (He immediately looks up; tries to sound optimistic) Oh, no, trust me, I am. I mean (beat) I was devastated when I heard about it. I spent three days straight locked up in my apartment listening to Disintegration, Unknown Pleasures, and Closer on repeat. But I didn’t cry. You know I don’t cry easily. I was just glum. After realizing that being all mopey and shit about the whole ordeal was pointless, I decided to get out of my cave, and see him one last time so I could say goodbye. Give him one last caress. Well, last and only
.
VANESSA: Oh, really? (Hands Jimmy the “Robert Smith”) At his funeral?
JIMMY: (Takes a sip from his drink) No, at the mortuary where they kept his corpse. It turned out it was just a stone’s throw away from where I live, so I called them to ask if they still have him so I can visit him. They said yes, so-
SCENE 2
(Jimmy walks out of a bus, and looks straight ahead towards a building that’s surrounded by flowers and kentucky bluegrass. He turns his head to the left and comes face to face with a medium-sized sign that reads Erick Lee Purkhiser Funeral Home. Letting out a sigh, he makes his way up to the entrance. He walks in, catching the eye of the receptionist.)
RECEPTIONIST: (Smiles) Good morning, may I help you?
JIMMY: Hi. I called yesterday afternoon to ask about a deceased friend of mine, his name is Daniel Foster.
JIMMY: (Narrating): Of course we weren’t really friends, he hardly knew I existed. Thankfully the worker didn’t bother questioning me.
RECEPTIONIST: (beat) Oh! Yes, I remember our conversation, you wanted to bid your farewell, right?
JIMMY: Yes.
RECEPTIONIST: (Nods his head) I’m sorry for your loss. Well, you came just in time, last I heard he’s due to be buried tomorrow morning. (Grabs a set of keys) Come along, I’ll take you to him.
(The receptionist led Jimmy to a double door marked “employees only,” then down a corridor.)
RECEPTIONIST: (Mumbling) Let’s see..B-1, B-2, B-3...Ah! Here we are. (Looks through the keys until he sees the one marked B-4. He opens the door, and holds it open for Jimmy. After they enter, the receptionist walks up the cabinets where the cadavers are stored.
RECEPTIONIST: (Mumbling) Daniel Foster...Oh, there he is. (He reaches for the handle, and opens it, revealing Danny’s corpse covered by a white sheet. It didn’t cover all of him, just down to the ankles. A toe tag was dangling on his left foot’s big toe.)
RECEPTIONIST: Whenever you’re ready. (Jimmy nodded his head as the go-ahead, and the receptionist reached up to the cadaver’s head to pull the sheet down.)
JIMMY (Narrating): You know that moment when you let out an involuntary gasp? Yeah, that happened when I saw Danny’s face look up at me. And I mean that literally, they didn’t even bother to close his eyes. They still looked beautiful even though they were glassy and vacant at that point. I put on my best pleading look, and asked the receptionist if he could leave so I could mourn Danny in solitude. He was nice enough to agree. (The second the receptionist walked out the door, Jimmy began to caress Danny’s corpse, running his hand through Danny's hair, and resting it on his cheek)
JIMMY: H-hi (beat) We didn’t really know each other that well, but (beat) I just wanted to say that I (beat) love you.
JIMMY (Narrating): I was at a complete loss for words. I didn’t know what else to say other than that. My only other instinct was to kiss him. (He bent over, closed his eyes, and kissed Danny. After holding onto the kiss for five seconds, he let it go. Jimmy opened his eyes, staring at Danny’s lifeless face which was about three inches away).
JIMMY (Narrating): After giving him the kiss that I craved for so many years, something (beat) I don’t know how to explain it (beat) just took over me. I began to crave more than just an innocent peck, I wanted to go all the way. I’ve kissed plenty of cute, live guys, but something about a cute, dead guy...his cold, pale flesh, the blueness of his luscious lips, the smell of formaldehyde emitting from him, seemed much more (beat) enticing (Jimmy grabbed Danny by the temples, and pulled him closer in order to continue kissing him. This time forcing his tongue through Danny's lips and into his mouth, his tongue wrestling with Danny's.)
JIMMY (Narrating): After what felt like an eternity, I broke the passionate make-out session. After that, I planted kisses on his neck, worked my way down his magnificent hairy chest, biting a nipple along the way, and finally down to his equally as furry stomach. (He took a quick glance to the door to make sure no one was watching, and pulled the sheet further down, revealing Danny’s genitalia.)
JIMMY (Narrating): I remember my hand trembling a little when I reached for his dick. I was like an inch away from grabbing it, but my common sense kept interfering, telling me that I’ll get caught. But at the same time, my libido kept coaxing me, repeating the words, “it’s now or never.” (Jimmy gives in, and gets a grip of Danny’s penis. After taking another glance at the door, he licked his lips, and began to perform fellatio)
JIMMY (Narrating): I’ll never forget how cold and unresponsive his cock was (beat) and gloriously big. It was actually the most enjoyable blowjob I’ve ever given. There was no moaning, or annoying phrases like “keep going, babe,” just a deathly silence. And instead of having to tolerate painful hair pulling while the guy’s hands forced me to go deeper, I was free to take control. After what felt like another eternity, I stopped, gave him another innocent peck on the lips, closed his eyes, and covered him.
SCENE 3
JIMMY: The receptionist didn’t suspect a thing when I left. To him, I was just a sad, innocent gay boy who just finished having a morose conversation with his dead “friend.”
VANESSA: Wow. (beat) Necrophilia. I think you moved up two or three levels on the goth scale.
JIMMY: Yeah, maybe. It might sound unorthodox, but that was enough to lift my spirits. That’s what I meant when I said that I managed to deal with the depression. By fucking him, well, sucking him off. I wish I could’ve taken it to the next level and fully fucked him. And I know what you’re thinking, ‘oh, maybe it was lust instead of love.’ But nah, I’ve felt lust for plenty of guys before. After we fucked, I didn’t give a shit about them anymore since they fed my sexual appetite. Hell, a couple of them died months later, and I didn’t even bat an eye when I found out; nor did I try to locate their corpses for a final round, they did their bit. With Danny, it’s different. Sure the pain was dulled after I had sexual contact with him, but I still crave him. Not just sexually, but emotionally, too. (beat) So I guess I’m not really over his death quite yet.
VANESSA: Well, now what? Turn to booze?
JIMMY: That was my first choice, but after realizing the virtues of a dead boyfriend, I’m taking a healthier and less expensive approach. Did I mention that the receptionist told me where Danny was going to be buried?
VANESSA: You mean you’re going to-
JIMMY: Yes, live happily ever after with my corpse husband. It’s for his own good. He’ll spend his after-life being cared for by someone who’ll still love him even as he’s rotting away. (Looks down at the picture of Danny on his phone, gliding his fingertips across it again) Absorb his essence by eating a portion of him so we can be closer to each other.
VANESSA: I respect that, I really do. Good luck, I think you’ll need it.
JIMMY: Thanks. Well, I gotta go. Thanks again, this time for being a good listener.
VANESSA: No problem.
FADE OUT: (With a shovel in his hand, Jimmy is standing in front of a gravestone marked “IN LOVING MEMORY OF DANIEL FOSTER - SON AND FRIEND. An owl hoots as it watches him from a nearby tree branch)
JIMMY: Hmhm, loving, what a joke. If they really did love him, they wouldn’t abandon him underground to become worm food. But don’t worry, hun, I’ll take real good care of you. (He begins to sing as she impales the shovel in the dirt) I will kiss you, forever on nights like this. I will kiss you, and we shall be together.
THE END
