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*EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im only 19

C

CaliSurfBoy

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ok well im only 19 years old i should be at my sexual peak!!

when i see porn and in the comforts of my own home i can get hard...but without constant stimulation i lose my erection very quickly

1.) is this normal for u guys?? whats ur experience when ur jacking off at home


2.) when im with a guy i can get hard off the initial excitement, when were making out for the first 5 min or whatever but after a while if nothing happens right away i will lose my erection very quickly. and then when they want to touch my penis i get anxious because its not hard and the more anxious i am the harder it is for me to get an erection.

however i noticed the guy i was with he had an erection the WHOLE time. for like the whole hour we were cudling he was hard..he never lost it once



can anyone sympathize with me??? :( i feel so embarassed.

like he was sucking my dick and then i wasnt hard at first but then i got hard briefly and lost it very quickly it makes me feel so inadequate and it causes alot of awkwardness.
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

A couple things are possibly going on.

First off, "perfomance anxiety" tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you're gonna lose your erection, or if you keep worrying abou it, you probably will.

So how do you deal with it? Accept it. Laugh it off. "Looks like he's got stage fright." Then turn your attention to your partner. Work on him, or just get back to making out for awhile.

As far as porn goes, how oftern are you masturbating? Several times a day? Then you're probably just working it a bit too much. Cut back your frequency. Skip a day or three. See it that helps any.

If you're still having trouble, a trip to the doctor might be in order, just to make sure there's no physical cause.

Lex
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

Your "issue" is familiar to me. Instead of looking at it as a problem, look at it this way: your making them work for your hard-on!! Let 'em at ya!

Oh yeah, and relax. ;)
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

G-Lexington said:
A couple things are possibly going on.

First off, "perfomance anxiety" tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think you're gonna lose your erection, or if you keep worrying abou it, you probably will.

So how do you deal with it? Accept it. Laugh it off. "Looks like he's got stage fright." Then turn your attention to your partner. Work on him, or just get back to making out for awhile.

As far as porn goes, how oftern are you masturbating? Several times a day? Then you're probably just working it a bit too much. Cut back your frequency. Skip a day or three. See it that helps any.

If you're still having trouble, a trip to the doctor might be in order, just to make sure there's no physical cause.

Lex
Click to expand...

as always, sound advice!
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

I believe as was said by Tryout 151 ... You are too anxious and the anxiety is causing you to lose the erection .
You MUST be with someone with whom you are very comfortable and relaxed with ... try not to think to much about it and go with it .... as your body knows what to do ...
Hope you use condoms !!
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

You say you lose your erection at home if there's not constant stimulation. How long are you taking to jerk off? As Lex pointed out, frequency can be a key, but speed can also be a factor. Do you try to cum quickly? Do you linger too long? Do you focus only on your dick when you masturbate, or do you take time to stimulate other parts of your body as well? Start paying more attention to your technique and see if switching things up doesn't help a bit.

And yeah, if you're constantly worried about what's going on with your little head when you're with a guy, then you're spending way too much time in your big head. If you find yourself thinking too much about keeping an erection, perhaps you should change your internal script. Tell yourself how attracted you are to the guy, repeat to yourself how good it feels, etc. See if you can't drown out the anxiety with more appropriate responses focusing on how great it feels to be with someone you're turned on by.
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

Just relax and take breaks from masturbating.

Try to make masturbating exciting i got bored with it until i shove my cock inside a glove with lotion and use a towel
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

i had this issue for a while..or something pretty similar. But the second or so time it happened, maybe the first i got freaked out there was something physicallly wrong with me at 21....Went to the doctor he said i was fine, made me feel better, and the problem got better b/c i knew it was just nerves and not something physical....odds are at our age its not something physical
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

CaliSurfBoy said:
can anyone sympathize with me??? :( i feel so embarassed.
Click to expand...

Yes, I do.

There's nothing to feel embarrassed about. Many of us have erection problems at least once. We all have bad days and performance anxiety is more common than we'd like to recognize. At the same time, gay porn creates some false expectations too (thanks to fluffers and video editors).

Don't time yourself. Sex is not a competition and you seem to be competing against yourself. Your description seems to fit with performance anxiety. You are spending a lot of energy thinking about your erection (while having sex) instead of focusing on your overall pleasure. You are centering your attention on your erection and that's not helpful.

An erection is just one of MANY sources of pleasure. Use this problem as an opportunity to learn about your body and your partner. Foreplay is essential and fun. The skin is a great organ that goes well beyond your penis. A good massage, a shower, a good conversation naked in bed, etc are different ways to initiate sex.

Good sex is the result of trust and intimacy among other things. Good practice, communication and humor are key.


CaliSurfBoy said:
when i see porn and in the comforts of my own home i can get hard...but without constant stimulation i lose my erection very quickly
Click to expand...

Are you physically comfortable? Is there anything you guys can do to feel more comfortable? Are you emotionally comfortable with your partner? Are you practicing safe sex?

Best of luck. Have fun. (*8*)
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

I have found over the years that if I condition myself to masturbating to porn, it's more difficult for me to have and maintain an erection during coitus.

Cut back on the porn and use your mind instead. See how that goes.
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

Y'know, CSF -- and this applies to the "penis test" thread, too -- what's hard (!oops!) about this particular topic is, that your issue could have soo many causes. Since I'm not actually qualified to give specific medical advice, it's very hard to know what to say.

You have any issues with diabetes?

If I were you, I think I might want to get checked out by a doc.

Sorry I don't have more for you!
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

your issue could have soo many causes.
Click to expand...

Actually, based on the information given, he is physically fine. He's 19 and he can get it up without a problem. Minus some random weird thing I'm not aware of, it is all a psychological problem.... not uncommon in young men. It'll get better with time/age or sexual counseling.
 
Re: *EMBARASSING*...issues with my dick!Ugh im onl

^well you see, I think that's the thing. I think you're probably right, based on the information given. But, he's clearly worried about it (like 2-3 threads worth), and it just seems to me that getting checked out wouldn't hurt.
 
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