F my life....

[belgarion63]

So, my best friend is bi, and she's been dating her girlfriend for about 19 months now. The problem is that her girlfriends parents don't approve of "that lifestyle" and they forbade her from seeing my friend (we'll call my friend Fiona and her girlfriend Michelle)

Anyway, I got a text from Michelle's mother saying that she knew that Fiona was still in contact with Michelle and that I was helping her do so, and she knew that I liked guys and promptly told me that I was no longer welcome in her house.

This wouldn't be a problem, except that Michelle and Fiona are the only two people that I'm out to (apart from you guys obviously), and my parents are the kind that would kick me out if they ever found out about me. Unfortunately, Michelle's mother is the kind of person who would come to my house, out me to my parents (basically ruin my life) and leave happy. And I just got a text from M's mom saying that Michelle had confirmed everything.

This is not the first time her mother has done this. When she first found out about Fiona and Michelle, she called Fiona's mother and told her before Fiona got home.

So here I am, freaking out, feeling like I'm about to throw up and scared as hell that that woman is going to ring my doorbell any second, or show up when I'm not home, and I'm not going to have a place to live anymore...

I already lost friends over this kind of accusation, I really don't want to lose family because of it too....

 

[Centexfarmer]

You could always tell your parents in advance the Michelle's mother is off her meds again, and going around imagining things things.

 

[ericrustad]

And while you are at it, cause some havoc on M' mother by reporting her to child services accusing her of child abuse...anonymously from a payphone in some other town preferably. And also reporting her to the police because her behavior is vindictive, malice acting and unacceptable. Rule of thumb, always "CYA", cover your ass.

 

[Lube]

You could always tell your parents in advance the Michelle's mother is off her meds again, and going around imagining things things.

To me, that just doesn't sound believable. Although, it might be a chance for your parents to tell you that it would OK if you were (in case they believed that, although it sounds like that's not the case).

Why fret? There's nothing you can do. Are you in college? Do you have a job? What are your circumstances?

 

[belgarion63]

Well, when I asked her what Michelle had confirmed, she only repeated back what was in the text messages that I had sent to Michelle the previous day....which makes me think she knows a lot less than she's putting on. I'm currently in college, jobless, and greatly benefiting from money from the parents and grand parents....and I already know from talks I've had with my mother about Fiona and Michelle that she doesn't accept it and that i would probably be homeless were I ever to embrace that part of me...I talked with Fiona earlier and she got super pissed and said that if M's mom actually did out me to my parents she would find a way to ruin that woman's life...and the thing that's most fucked up about the situation is that the rest of M's mom's side of the family thinks that she is WAY overreacting...

 

[slnattak]

I'm just trying to read between the lines of all this drama you're spewing.

I'm glad you're sharing this. But it just sounds like your angry. So angry you can't think straight! (well like you could in the past har har but you get what im sayin.) Any action you take right now is not gonna be very good.

Deep down this is about you, it's not about anybody else. You just want to be accepted for who you really are. I sense that underneath all this anger is a very sweet, affectionate gay boy that just wants love.

However see, waiting for everybody else to like you puts you in an uncompromising position of co-dependence. Placing your happiness in other people's hands. You have to improve your self-confidence in a way where you are able to go on being bisexual/gay no matter what they think of it or you.

Because you know in reality that the Disney ideal won't always happen. They could always have a problem with you liking other dudes. But what then? You just end up hurting your own life because of them? You indirectly prove that 'straights always know what they're talking about?'

You just realize they are misguided and wrong about that subject, but you keep just living your own life. Doing what *you* want to do, no matter what it is.

 

[belgarion63]

If I were to start on my love interests, it'd just be even more drama....and honestly, I'm so angry right now I'm surprised I'm not spitting acid and shooting fire from my eyes......I could rant about this woman for 12 days straight and not run out of insults....

 

[Centexfarmer]

If I were to start on my love interests, it'd just be even more drama....and honestly, I'm so angry right now I'm surprised I'm not spitting acid and shooting fire from my eyes......I could rant about this woman for 12 days straight and not run out of insults....

That's part of the problem right there.

Honestly you should put as much distance between you and her as possible.

 

[belgarion63]

I have no desire to go anywhere near her....and I think I'm going to be okay, I talked to "Michelle" and she said her mother isn't going to do anything to me or talk to my parents...

 

[Smitho]

Hi,
Regardless of anything else you need to calm down, and think this trough. There are lots of options, from telling your parents to just flatly denieing everthing. But you seen worked up, so before making any decisions calm down. Forget any elaborate revenge schemes, or crazy ideas to get your own back, they are never going to work as planned anyway. Think about the situation you are in and the possible options you have.
Take care and good luck.

 

[rareboy]

If she tells your parents, you just need to say she's right. You're a homo and the only reason you didn't tell them the truth is that you think they wouldn't love you anymore and they'd kick you out of your home.

And then if they don't (love you) and they do (boot your ass out of the house), you'll just have to be self-sufficient. And you know what? You'd survive. And still finish school.

Like so many young men, you need to understand that you're stronger than you think you are. I agree that timing is everything, but boy oh boy, if I were a parent and my kid waited until they had sapped me for every penny before they thought they could be honest with me, I sure would feel betrayed. I'd be prouder of the kid that wasn't afraid to take a risk but was so sure of my love that they would challenge me. But that is me and not a lot of parents.

Just make sure that you're not short-changing them.

Now you need to make other friends as well, so that your support network is larger.

And stay the fuck away from psycho-mom until she gets her shit straight.

 

[Lube]

^Sage, sage advice there, Rareboy.

Too many people recommend staying closeted until sucking all the parental money for college.

Boys become men when they stand up for themselves.