Hi guys, thanks for checking this thread out. I'll try to make it as coherent as possible, but apologize if it's not as I have lots of thoughts floating around in my head right now.
I've been in my current relationship for a little over five months now. My boyfriend and I use the "L" word regularly (maybe a little too liberally?) and have already crossed the threshold of talking about what we want out of our relationship and where we're currently are. We have the same goal in terms of maintaining a strong and lasting partnership. The problem (for me) is that I've been feeling for the last three weeks or so that things aren't going too well.
When our relationship began, we took it slow. We didn't kiss until the 5th date, and didn't fool around until a few dates after that. We have pretty regularly been able to see each other at least 3 or 4 times a week (between our schedules) and for the majority of the nights (even those not involving hanky panky) my boyfriend would always at least initiate some type of body contact, whether it be a kiss, or holding hands, or cuddling.
For the past three weeks or so (at least that's when I started actually noticing it), he has been pretty reluctant to be affectionate towards me. Hugs are rare, kisses only happen if I initiate. Sex is only maybe once a week, through my initiation again. In addition to this, communication has broken down a little bit. Normally we talk daily (if we don't have the chance to see each other). These past few weeks, it has whittled down to maybe a few text messages--which admittedly drives me crazy.
I have an anxious feeling in my stomach that he's losing interest. I have asked him if he's still attracted to me and he insists that he is, but his actions don't support his words. I feel like an inconvenience to him when I try to initiate intimacy. And, I would like sex a bit more, at least without feeling guilty about it.
Buuuut I'm not sure what to really think. You see, my boyfriend has a demanding job, and I'm totally understanding of the requirements of his work. I don't keep him up late, we don't make too many plans during the week. I don't spend the night unless he invites me (which has only been 3 times total). In addition to his work, he's very active at the community center and volunteers on a handful of committees that usually amount to about 10 hours of work a week in addition to the 40 hours of his job. And on top of all this, he just recently bought a house (which, as any new homeowner may know, can be a heck of a lot of work).
So he's a busy guy. I just hate feeling like I'm getting kicked down the totem pole of priorities, because the time we get to spend together is already pretty slim. And when we do get time, there's little to no affection. I decided a few weeks ago that I would give it some time and see if things swing back up, but we're going on a month now of this sinking feeling, and little improvement.
So hopefully now you understand the conundrum I have. What do you think? Am I just fighting with the end of the honeymoon period, or do I have a bigger problem? Any suggestions of how to deal with the situation?
I've been in my current relationship for a little over five months now. My boyfriend and I use the "L" word regularly (maybe a little too liberally?) and have already crossed the threshold of talking about what we want out of our relationship and where we're currently are. We have the same goal in terms of maintaining a strong and lasting partnership. The problem (for me) is that I've been feeling for the last three weeks or so that things aren't going too well.
When our relationship began, we took it slow. We didn't kiss until the 5th date, and didn't fool around until a few dates after that. We have pretty regularly been able to see each other at least 3 or 4 times a week (between our schedules) and for the majority of the nights (even those not involving hanky panky) my boyfriend would always at least initiate some type of body contact, whether it be a kiss, or holding hands, or cuddling.
For the past three weeks or so (at least that's when I started actually noticing it), he has been pretty reluctant to be affectionate towards me. Hugs are rare, kisses only happen if I initiate. Sex is only maybe once a week, through my initiation again. In addition to this, communication has broken down a little bit. Normally we talk daily (if we don't have the chance to see each other). These past few weeks, it has whittled down to maybe a few text messages--which admittedly drives me crazy.
I have an anxious feeling in my stomach that he's losing interest. I have asked him if he's still attracted to me and he insists that he is, but his actions don't support his words. I feel like an inconvenience to him when I try to initiate intimacy. And, I would like sex a bit more, at least without feeling guilty about it.
Buuuut I'm not sure what to really think. You see, my boyfriend has a demanding job, and I'm totally understanding of the requirements of his work. I don't keep him up late, we don't make too many plans during the week. I don't spend the night unless he invites me (which has only been 3 times total). In addition to his work, he's very active at the community center and volunteers on a handful of committees that usually amount to about 10 hours of work a week in addition to the 40 hours of his job. And on top of all this, he just recently bought a house (which, as any new homeowner may know, can be a heck of a lot of work).
So he's a busy guy. I just hate feeling like I'm getting kicked down the totem pole of priorities, because the time we get to spend together is already pretty slim. And when we do get time, there's little to no affection. I decided a few weeks ago that I would give it some time and see if things swing back up, but we're going on a month now of this sinking feeling, and little improvement.
So hopefully now you understand the conundrum I have. What do you think? Am I just fighting with the end of the honeymoon period, or do I have a bigger problem? Any suggestions of how to deal with the situation?
That way, the expectation is set for both of you. You mentioned he's very accommodating, that's a very good sign that he wants to be with you. I can totally relate to that. At work, I manage people, schedules, personality conflicts...and make decisions for my team. It's a very high stress work environment...but I love my job! 
