Falling apart

[confusedboy23]

I'm sorry that the breakup happened and I can only imagine that pain that you are going through right now.

You didn't mention what caused the argument and why was the case that "loved him more than he loved you". I'm just thinking that there are people who are not that good at displaying emotions or he could be feeling not good enough for you.

I'm not trying to side on him here though.

But as for his comments that 'this is going to be an important year for him', have you tried talking it through with him that it's not about the amount of time you spend with each other but it is just about the two of you being together as one. I hope this make sense.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

 

[Eagle653]

Hi there, sorry you're in so much turmoil. It seems as though, since he's lost you, he seems to perhaps now realize what he lost. Maybe he took a lot of what he had with you for granted, and now realizes what a fool he was for not realizing it at the time.

At any rate, do you think he's interested in getting back together? If so, are you interested? What's your thoughts on that?

Either way, good luck. The first love is the hardest to "get over" should it come to that. Hang in there and keep in touch and let us know what's going on.

 

[lightkeeper483]

i know what its like to be lonely , i lost my b/f to diabetes 2 years ago and ive been single since, i sure miss him , it will be 2 years the 18 of this month

 

[jetsonboy]

I know you must feel a terrible sense of loss right now, but look at your breakup and your lives from this perspective: you are just 18 years old; you have a long lifetime ahead of you, and chances are, as much as you may have felt otherwise, this relationship was not going to last forever. You also must realize that he, as a contemporary of yours I suppose, may feel he needs to focus on some very important aspects of his life that will enable him to find happiness and success for a very long time ( like school or work), and you must respect that.
You will fall in love again and again in your young adult life, and some day if both of you want it equally, it will last a very long time. I hope these thoughts will bring hope and some sense of peace to you at this time.

 

[WYSIWYG]

"Perhaps I'm just not enough for him". Sounds like you were more than enough for him and he could not match your love? Maybe because he wanted to focus on 'his very important year?'

Also sounds like you both did not communicate after the fact!

Being drunk and trying to make jokes always gets misinterpreted, sorry. It sounds like you loved this guy a lot. Your 18 and so you have a whole life time to find another mate. Not making light of your situation, if he was not as equally in love with you as you were him, you will most ceertainly find another mate.

An example, I thought I was in love with someone and I loved him so much, but in the end, he did not love me as much as I him. Nor did he make the extra effort to make it work. I got dumped last July. Was mad and pissed for months. Then I went back online because I decided this guy was not going to destroy the love I have. A few months later, I found my husband. We are so much in love it is scary sometimes. Both of us will do anything for one another and when we are together it is an AMAZING experience...one like no other that I have experienced with anyone else.

So have heart, you sound like a very caring and loving man! Your turn will come mate!

 

[jetsonboy]

I see it more as there is nothing you SHOULD do. Don't feel you have to help him deal with his own decision.

 

[Riverrick]

Relationships can be very fragile the first few times around. Only when we've lost someone that we gave up on too easily in the past do we try harder the next time to weather the tough times with a lover.

It sounds like he is in turmoil now, as are you. Breaking up sucks. That's why there are so many songs about it. Hang in there Andy.

 

[Horschallen]

When you mentioned you loving him more than he loved you, I got to remembering how there was someone whom I loved so much, but he would not allow me to share it. He liked me but could not express his sweetness to me as he did to others. So after months of dialogues, I eventually came to term with the fact that I would never get to experience a relationship with him. It was hard, but I eventually moved on, literally cuz I ended up moving across the country for a professional position.

Like everyone else says, "It is better to have loved than to never have loved."

 

[arteguy]

I'm sorry for your pain and confusion, I know it can be overwhelming. Sometimes at times like this, six months versus 6 years, you can think about what you want in a relationship compared to being with some one. This out in the open understanding between you , that you love him more than he loves you, plus his turn around after you left, seems a little manipulative. You deserve someone who doesn't use your affection to get attention and boost his ego. After a couple of passive/aggressive relationships, I decided that wasn't the drama I wanted in my relationships, so it was easier to be single.
I know little really about your relationship, so my unsolicited advice comes from my own past. Hang in there and I wish you the best.

 

[confusedboy23]

Just take each day in stride, and I'm sure you'll slowly regain yourself.

It takes time, believe me and I wouldn't dare to say that tomorrow will be any easier than today or yesterday but just hang in there.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey Andy....

Mate...what do you want to do? Do you still care for him? Do you feel like he supposedly feels? Do you believe in whats come back to you as being the truth??

Theres nothing to say that some relationships dont deserve a second chance.

Maybe you both have learned a lot from your time apart...more about knowing who you are what you need and want...but most of all...how much you mean to each other.

I'm not suggesting that you run back into each others arms...but some guys need to learn the hard way about whats right and wrong in life. He may have been one of them....

Theres no shame or weakness in learning about yourself and others. Theres certainly no shame in saying we made a mistake. No one would ever think less of you if you really believed that things could be better.

The only shame will be letting a chance to make things better, improve things, to learn lessons and to try again go...if its not what you really want.

Ultimately Andy your happiness, finding someone who loves values and respects you is the most important thing. Bar nothing. Whatever course you choose keep that in mind. Your too important to be unhappy.

Its never too late.