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Falling in love with a stripper...

mcbg22

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So a few weeks ago I went to Montreal to a gay strip club for the first time. I had a great time and I went back soon after that. There is one dancer that I spent a lot of time with who was really nice and we had good conversations about our real lives. Like he told me his real name, his real job, etc. I did a couple lap dances with him and it was really hot. He is the hottest guy ever.

Anyway now I can't stop thinking about him. He even gave me his phone number so we could text and sent me some pictures. I know he's in this for the money but at the same time, I don't think he's using me. I think he just prefers to spend time with good clients instead of seeing as many people as possible per night.

I don't know how to stop having these feelings. I just feel like a mess emotionally after seeing him. One minute I'm on a high because I loved my time with him but then I get really depressed because I live far away and I can't go as often as I want to. Is there a healthy way that I can go see him occasionally while keeping my feelings in check? I've been single for awhile now so it's obviously why I feel this way.

Anyway, any thoughts on what I should do?
 
I just want to add that I don't just like him because he's hot. I also just liked his personality and something just clicked. There were tons of other hot dancers but I don't even care about seeing them again compared to him.
 
Maybe it would help to remind yourself that you were just a customer and he was a good salesman. Nothing more, nothing less. He probably gives his number out to countless guys. He did what he was supposed to do by getting you hooked and making you want more. That is how his business works.

BTW, you are not in love. At the most, you have a crush.

You get over him by telling yourself these truths.
 
Maybe it would help to remind yourself that you were just a customer and he was a good salesman. Nothing more, nothing less. He probably gives his number out to countless guys. He did what he was supposed to do by getting you hooked and making you want more. That is how his business works.I

BTW, you are not in love. At the most, you have a crush.

You get over him by telling yourself these truths.

Oh I agree. I guess saying falling in love was a little bit strong. I know he's just doing his job and to him I am just a client and I am fine with that. I just don't know what to make of my crush on him. I'm trying to figure out if I should either just stop going to that club or if it would be OK to go but to keep myself from thinking too much about it after. I'm still new to being out and dating and stuff so this is why this was so exciting for me.
 
I'm still new to being out and dating and stuff so this is why this was so exciting for me.

This explains it all. He was nice to you and he had a personality that appealed to you. The fact you found him hot and sexy sealed the deal for you. I think you are craving more than just sex, you want some intimacy with a guy that goes beyond that. Am I right or am I right?
 
This explains it all. He was nice to you and he had a personality that appealed to you. The fact you found him hot and sexy sealed the deal for you. I think you are craving more than just sex, you want some intimacy with a guy that goes beyond that. Am I right or am I right?

Absolutely. I would love to be in a relationship but intimacy is scarier for me. Do you think I should keep going though like once every month or two? In the meantime I guess I could focus more on meeting real people. I really did like my experience though. It kinda opened up a can of worms but I guess I had to deal with all those feelings eventually.
 
I met a great dancer in Chicago (I live in NYC) on my long weekend trip there earlier this year - the guy was gorgeous and nice - we all like gorgeous and nice :)

we hit it off - i met him after work and we had a great time - we exchange texts still

great experience

for about a week or two after, it was hard to get him out of my mind - he was so sexy and nice and fun

but it was a very brief meeting - and he's in chicago

i tell you this story because you will get over it

which is not to say stop contacting him - just keep it in perspective - if you can't cut it off as it's debilitating

you're not there - and you're not sure if there's a real connection or it's semi-real or just based on business

chalk it up to a great time and try to move onto more real encounters not based on finance

good luck
 
Sugarpie, what you met was a very good stripper, the best ones always come across as great guys/friends/interested. It's fun, and if they're good, the cash flows and you either don't mind, or you don't notice, and they want you to text and keep in touch because that means you'll come back.

Which is fine, if I have the money to burn I love me some strippers.

BUT don't ever forget that once the cash runs dry, they stripper moves on. It's their job to make you feel like you feel right now.
 
sounds like a great guy, keep trying to see him and stay in contact. Nobody but you and him know if there really is a connection there or not. sure he did his job, but after awhile he is human too and doubt he gives his number out to everybody.
 
...Sure it's his job but for you it's all reaalllllllll!!!!!!...

Bad advice for dealing with a booty professional.

They sell illusion, tease, and honkin' big dick.



Now if you had met him in an entirely different context, like in class, and you were dating before you went in to get those lap dances that MIGHT be different.
 
I should point out that I'm kinda like a stripper connoisseur. I can't tell you how many 5's 10's and 20's I've slipped into jockstraps, strings, and assorted shorts over the years.

If you like the tease, and the simplicity of the arrangement, not to mention the fun at the bar, the gyrating boys and the horny crowd, there's nothing like some strippers.

Just keep your head on your shoulders. Don't stray out of the established parameters of the relationship, because while a lot of them are nice guys, a lot of them are also nice STRAIGHT guys, a lot of them have issues you want nothing to do with.

Think of them like Geishas, if you have enough cash, you can probably have everything you want and he'll always have time for you, and he'll be attentive and flirty and all things hard and sweaty.

But that's not reality. Reality is his pregnant girlfriend in his crappy studio apartment, or his coke habit and really, who wants to know about that.
 
I should point out that I'm kinda like a stripper connoisseur. I can't tell you how many 5's 10's and 20's I've slipped into jockstraps, strings, and assorted shorts over the years.

If you like the tease, and the simplicity of the arrangement, not to mention the fun at the bar, the gyrating boys and the horny crowd, there's nothing like some strippers.

Just keep your head on your shoulders. Don't stray out of the established parameters of the relationship, because while a lot of them are nice guys, a lot of them are also nice STRAIGHT guys, a lot of them have issues you want nothing to do with.

Think of them like Geishas, if you have enough cash, you can probably have everything you want and he'll always have time for you, and he'll be attentive and flirty and all things hard and sweaty.

But that's not reality. Reality is his pregnant girlfriend in his crappy studio apartment, or his coke habit and really, who wants to know about that.

I hear ya. I'm aware that most of the dancers are straight but in the back they are pretty open haha. I'm not expecting anything to happen outside of the club anyway. And as for the one dancer I particularly like, I highly doubt he has big issues. He has a good job but the starting salary isn't that great so dancing pays the bills. Some dancers definitely have issues though. I've seen it with my own eyes.
 
Back in WEHO every now and then a bunch of us would pool our cash and throw stripper parties (because strip bars are pretty crappy in L.A. - or at least were when I lived there) It was a lot of fun, but every now and then you'd get the stripper drama, too much drug of choice/prima donna/I just moved here from kansas and why is your hand in my pants

But even that can be entertaining if you look at it in the right way.

The best ones though, they will make you fall for them if you aren't careful. That story above is a variation on the "I'm working my way through school," standard backstory.

It may be true, it may not be, but think, no "good job," is going to pay so little that the only recourse is shakin' your tallywhaker and doing god know what else in the back room.
 
Oh sugar, I can tell you what he'll say to that.

By the way were you at Stockbar?
 
Haha I know it's not real. I think he's genuinely a nice guy and he's been honest with me but he's straight and in this only for the money and maybe a little bit for the ego boost. I went to Campus and Stock. I preferred Campus though Stock is pretty good too.
 
I've never been to Campus but Stock was pretty rockin. It's been awhile though.
 
I like the cocky egotistical ones. They really get into the game.
 
I like the cocky egotistical ones. They really get into the game.

There were plenty of guys like that haha but the one I really liked was really down to earth. I like when a guy doesn't realize how hot he is. :p
 
never get involved with a stripper, porn star, or escort.take that advice and you'll avoid a lot of problems.
 
Yeah, this sounds like a business relationship he's developing with you. He's selected you to be his personal client outside of the workplace which I know a lot of strippers do to make extra money. If you want to spend money on him outside the joint, go right ahead, but it's business for pleasure and that's all you should expect out of it.
 
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