Fear of "gayness"

[WYSIWYG]

Life is the slide to death, so being born starts you on the road! You are over reacting to AIDS and STD. You can get AIDS or an STD being str8! This is not exclusive to being a gay man!!! I agree with wintermoon, you need to seek out a gay therapist and have a happy life as a gay man!

 

[puty34]

sounds like OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). You say you're gay but don't want to be, that's a conflict. Nothing written here is gonna stem those thoughts. Like the above, a therapist might not be a bad idea.

 

[rotary]

But I am DEATHLY afraid of AIDS and despite my better judgment, I have a fear that any gay relationships I enter, any gay books or magazines I touch, any gay videos I rent, will expose me to this deadly virus.

I am horrified by these thoughts, which I know lack a rational basis, but they seem so real to me... and they scare me more than anything!

You are not alone my friend.

AIDS is to be taken seriously, but fear of contracting HIV from touching magazines and videos is an irrational fear. It's good that you recognize this.

You can do a search for 'aids phobia' on google and read countless articles about people who have unfounded fears of contracting the disease.

Aside from showing you that others understand and experience the same thing themselves, I'm not entirely sure what I can do to help. If you do have a phobia (many people do), seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Legend500]

Hey Everyone,
I BELIEVE in my mind... in my emotions... in a part of my subconscious- I guess- that if I allow myself to be gay... or even explore the possibility, I will contract HIV and die a slow agonizing death from AIDS.

I am horrified by these thoughts, which I know lack a rational basis, but they seem so real to me... and they scare me more than anything!

Believe it or not, this fear of AIDS or infection is fairly common. It's also not at all unusual to have one aspect of your life (such as being gay) creating problems such as an irrational fear or avoidance (which the "tainted" belief clearly is). To me this doesn't sound quite like OCD, as you're not obsessing over it constantly (like repeating the "gay is dirty" thought in your head when you are not exposed to the situation, or believing that if you say three words in your head everything around you can be made AIDS free) and there seems to be no clear compulsion (constant showering, organizing, etc.). This sounds closer to a sort of Specific/Simple phobia probably of a Situational type....in this case, "gay" as the situation triggering an irrational fear of infection.

The bad news is that without help, it's not going to get any better. Somewhere you've made a connection between gay and infection, and only a pro is going to be able to hit that. The good news is that phobias are very common, in no way unusual, fairly straightforward in treatment and (thankfully) not as severe as depression or other mental illness.

Get professional help. Period. eventually, without treatment, this phobia may retard your social life to the point that it turns from a simple phobia into depression.

 

[On-The-Sideline]

Hey Everyone,

I am horrified by these thoughts, which I know lack a rational basis, but they seem so real to me... and they scare me more than anything!

Check out the GLBT National Help Center website (www.glnh.org). They have a listing of resources available in your area that might be able to help your sort out your thoughts.

I see that you are 20. I have allowed my fears prevent me from dealing with being gay for a long time. I am now 43 and just beginning to sort things out. Take one step at a time - search the internet/make a few phone calls.

You took a big step tonight and showed a lot of courage. There are a lot of people on this board that are here to support you. Don't let your fears stop you.

 

[JackFTwist]

QueerBoi, read all the responses ten time over and then take the excellent and loving advice being offered to you by people you care.

 

[Riverrick]

Sounds obsessive to me since you can't even pick up a gay book. I agree that you would do best to find a therapist.

And read 02's post. Its very insightful.

 

[backpacker]

You recognize that the fear is irrational, but have been unable to change it on your own. As others have indicated, you need some professional help to work through these issues. I also feel that your real issue maybe that you are gay and that this irrational fear of AIDS is your minds way of avoiding being gay. In any case, you need some help that the people on this forum are just not able to provide.

 

[hermanding]

absolutely, some pro help is advisable. the only true way not to get hiv and sida is just to only jack off, never get a transfusion, no drugs. as for the sex part, it is there for satisfying a primal hunger and need in everyone. life would be very empty without this fulfillment. safe sex is always a good idea. please talk to a professional. you deserve to have the joy of sexual experiences in your life.
ding

 

[bigpayback]

Yeah I agree that you should get some help. We all have our fears, but that's not like saying all straight people should be afraid of disease. Trust me, there are so many people gay or straight who get diseases from unprotected sex.

 

[spreadeagle]

So what would it be about heterosexuality that would grant you immunity to sexually transmitted infections?

 

[Just_Believe18]

Then what was this thread all about, Queerboi?

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133094

First you told us you loved gay porn but weren't gay. Now this? Are you taking us all on a merry-go-round or what?

 

[Soilwork]

It's so sad how America's puritanical attitude towards sex has taught a generation of young men that gay=sick=HIV.

This isn't the case.. but so many of you believe it.

I too used to have that hysteria, but I eventually figured out that it was REALLY me not being totally comfortable with being gay, and believeing that being gay meant that I was a sick pervert who deserved to die.

But i want to commend you for taking that step towards self-acceptance. It's not easy, and you need a good pat on the back.

You know.. I was afraid you were going to be anohter eyesforu who comes here to convince us that he's straight so he can convince himself.

But no.. you just need to be talked down out that tree of HIV phobia.

 

[bayern20]

Consider this:

Lesbians are at very very low risk of getting HIV. And they are a very very low percentage of the HIV cases. But, it is same sex as well. So what that tells you is, there is nothing to suggest that its an issue of it being same sex, the problem is that you have some biological things going against men.

Men tend to be biologicaly driven to have more sex. (not just reproduce) So, men are more likley to sleep around. Minorities have a much higher percentage of HIV. This is usually due to lack of acceptance. So, I would wager that if being gay became "normal", we would have a lot less. You now have guys who are married sleeping with other guys..they are married in the first place because they dont want people to know they are gay, or bi in the least. You have guys going to bathhouses, washrooms, a lot of different places, to get sex because everyone around them does not know, so they have to hide these encounters. You have no chance of marriage, so gays have this feeling that they are just meant to sleep with other guys and that is all.

Whenever something is not accepted, the behaviour continues, but in a negative fashion. Acceptance has a way of changing a lot of things.

That is the big thing. Continued education is always the way to go.

Look at Africa and their stats on HIV..some areas have HIV percentages of 15 to 50%...my god..is everyone gay? Of course not, you just have a lot more factors taking place. Poverty is a huge factor, no rule of law (rape), no education, etc etc etc

 

[bayern20]

And personally, I have absolutley no fear of getting HIV. Why? Well, I dont like sleeping around, I have no interest in hook-ups, and I have no interest in having sex with people I barley know (first dates, etc)

Everyone has their own decisions to make, but you control your own destiny.

We make fun of marriage (the hetero one) but if marriage has done anything it has indeed made people a lot less promiscous. Sure people still cheat, but it is much less than if such an insitution did not exist at all.

 

[trawler69]

Would you rather live a long miserable life sucking latex or live a shorter, more fulfilling life sucking cock?

I choose the cock!!!

Is this too not a strange statement for an HIVphobic? Explain?
I do hope those above have not been wasting their time and very valuable advice, on a wind up. I do hope I am wrong and there is a simple explanation or I will be sorely

 

[jockboy01]

Clearly, there is some confusion here. Lets hope queerboi gets the help he needs...

Wholeheartedly agree!