Feeling kind of down : /

[Comrad]

I cant be the only person that is/has gone through this before. I have friends, many, but NO gay friends. Im way in the closet, and i play my cards well. I don't THINK anybody suspects im gay. But as of late im been feeling kind of down just because i dont really have any male friends around me that i can just talk to. I in my life have only had one openly gay friend, and i havet spoken to her for about a year , and i miss her SO much now. As of late when my friends do call me i make up some dumb excuse not to hang out with them, and they are really getting pissed at me because of it.
I don't quite know what im feeling now but i just wish it would go away.

 

[BrandonSBCA]

I've gone through this in High School and it's something where you feel like you can't speak your mind, it really sucks. I do hope you can try to find gay friends. No matter how easy it may be for some, it's really hard to do for others. Hang in there.

 

[iftj123]

well, do you think having gay friends around you would make evrything better? or, do you need your straight friends to know you better, including your sexuality?

Im gay, dont really have that many close gay friends and my straight ones know everything about me practically...I'm happy, not closeted. Sometimes I guess it would be nice to be closer to my gay friends but i guess, at this point, it just isnt me...

you need some gay friends, or some better straight ones.
I guess Ive been through that, too...took me a while to figure it out...

 

[danomano]

wow, it's so weird that i came across this post tonight because i am actually feeling exactly the same right now. i too am pretty well closeted with only a few close gay friends and right now the prospects of fully coming out and being truly open and close with a few good guys friends looks pretty grim. this in turn has affected my relationship with some friends of mine to the point where i don't even want to see or talk to them. it's weird, i don't know how to describe it.

hopefully we'll be able to get through this though, Comrad.

 

[luminum]

I'd say that that means that it's time to at least stick a toe out of the closet and give yourself some room to breath. Having a straight friend who understands can do wonders.

 

[Theyoungman]

This is serious for whatever reason... I felt the same way when I was in school, but for different reasons also. Its hard, but Something will happen to change its course.

The are manys ways to ease the pain, but only one is a great enough answer to your trouble. I think you know what it is as I know what it is...

 

[mike_n_herrin]

it's very hard sometimes. i use jub for just this purpose, talking to other gay folks and just using it as a general support forum. since moving here to CA from IL i don't really have any friends off the boards. i don't go out with folks and hang out and stuff like that. i also don't know any gay folks. there is a gay dude at the office but he has a bf and i think they are often busy doing stuff. i'd be like a third wheel. anyway i feel down sometimes, but then i come here and look at happy threads and i feel better.

hang in there buddy

 

[CaptainRush]

I just came on here tonight, saturday night 1 am, to talk about this but i just saw this thread. I'm only 18, but I feel depressed like you. Difference between you and me is that your in the closet, and i'm out. But similar to you, I only have girl friends. I mabey have 2 guys friends, and a cousin that's 17 whos a guy, that's it.

Something really weird happend tonight. I saw an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, and after it finished I just cried. I thought it was the weirdest thing, but then I realized I cried because I don't have a group of friends like that in my life. I got depressed after that for an hour and now i'm typing this.

I think we both need friends. Real friends. We both need to go out and just have some fun. But sometimes its even harder to do that when you have insecurity issues like I do.

 

[luminum]

I just came on here tonight, saturday night 1 am, to talk about this but i just saw this thread. I'm only 18, but I feel depressed like you. Difference between you and me is that your in the closet, and i'm out. But similar to you, I only have girl friends. I mabey have 2 guys friends, and a cousin that's 17 whos a guy, that's it.

Something really weird happend tonight. I saw an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, and after it finished I just cried. I thought it was the weirdest thing, but then I realized I cried because I don't have a group of friends like that in my life. I got depressed after that for an hour and now i'm typing this.

I think we both need friends. Real friends. We both need to go out and just have some fun. But sometimes its even harder to do that when you have insecurity issues like I do.

I definitely hear you. I find myself crying over weird things sometimes, too.

Sometimes I realize that I feel dismated baout not having that group of friends, since I made my good friends in high school and we rarely see each other. When we get together, it's fantastic. But when I'm back in school, I realize I don't have friends on campus where we can just hang out together and I end up feeling isolated.

I wish I knew more gay guys closely enough to relate to them, but mostly all I have are 'girlfriends' and sometimes, my straight friends just can't understand things no matter how supportive they are. It just makes them feel bad. So I usually don't say much about how I'm feeling sad if it's a reason I've already told them. In the end, I just don't say much about feeling sad and just keep the laughs going.

Sorry, that was really heavy. Just ignore it.

 

[CaptainRush]

I definitely hear you. I find myself crying over weird things sometimes, too.

Sometimes I realize that I feel dismated baout not having that group of friends, since I made my good friends in high school and we rarely see each other. When we get together, it's fantastic. But when I'm back in school, I realize I don't have friends on campus where we can just hang out together and I end up feeling isolated.

I wish I knew more gay guys closely enough to relate to them, but mostly all I have are 'girlfriends' and sometimes, my straight friends just can't understand things no matter how supportive they are. It just makes them feel bad. So I usually don't say much about how I'm feeling sad if it's a reason I've already told them. In the end, I just don't say much about feeling sad and just keep the laughs going.

Sorry, that was really heavy. Just ignore it.

No way man, that's EXACLY how it is for me in high school right now. I have about 7 friends in a group and they're all girls. I'll prabably talk to about 3 of them after high school. Other than that, i'll see a few other randoms in high school, and my hag. - lol

But that's 100% the same for me. And you know what, just like those classic O.C. or Beverly Hills show, it can get akward for us.


Picture this : Big house party Friday.

Who you gonna go with? All the guys? Classic jockish, and/or straight people

Or the girls who are all getting ready together and puting on make up and shit, and puting up that weird front they do at parties.

We have no stand.

 

[cocktales]

Conrad and others:

All of you guys suffer from the same malady that most closeted Gay people suffer from.....

No gay friends; just straight friends who expect you to go out with them and do the heterosexual stuff that goes against your life-style....

To save your sanity, and to stop the depression, you MUST have some kind of outlet, to be able to be yourself, to be comfortable in your skin, so to speak and just be a Gay man without being in disguise all the time!!

You read Mikie's outlet, JUB......where he can be himself and let his hair down and NOT hide away in that dark closet.

Think about it, do any/all of you have any friend(s) that you would feel secure in telling and be comfortable that they would keep your dark secret from the rest of the world? That would be optimum...

I know several friends who turned to a female friend for that outlet and it really helped their sanity....

You ALL know the answer to your particular problem and what is necessary to do to stop these feelings........don't you???

So, until you either move to a place where you can come out and be yourself, I recommend you find that someone to confide in to save yourself.

 

[luminum]

Eh, you must know that even though I don't think we've evercorresponded directly, that I'm pretty out. All my friends and most of my family, while unsupportive, know. The problem is just meeting other gay guys. I have a few friends (more like aquaintences) who are gay, but we're hardly close.

The only 'let my hair down' relationships I have are with my straight friends and even though they're supportive I feel like the issues I have about my family and lonliness are ongoing and as such, they get weighed down or burdened by my repatitive complaints.

Oh well. I guess I'll just shrug it off or something.

As for the big house party, I think of it as getting ready yourself and going with that third party. That third party doesn't exist in high school, but it sure does in college.

If I'm not going with one girlfriend who's more out there, I'm going by myself and fashionably late (that's also partly because of laziness and terrible punctuality on my part).

 

[me12121]

I'm feeling really down tonight. Not only do I have no gay friends, I don't seem to have straight ones either. I guess that's because I don't have much in common with the guys on my floor and I'm really shy. Hopefully I can fall asleep soon so I stop feeling this way. And hopefully it's not like last night where I laid in bed thinking until 7am.

 

[CaptainRush]

I'm feeling really down tonight. Not only do I have no gay friends, I don't seem to have straight ones either. I guess that's because I don't have much in common with the guys on my floor and I'm really shy. Hopefully I can fall asleep soon so I stop feeling this way. And hopefully it's not like last night where I laid in bed thinking until 7am.

Guys on your floor? Are you in college?

For every "area" or "time period" you go through, you'll get more and more confidence.

For me, it went :

1. Elementry school (Destroyed me)

2. High School (Constructing who I am, almost graduated)

3. And then college, where i know people will be more level headed.

 

[me12121]

Guys on your floor? Are you in college?

For every "area" or "time period" you go through, you'll get more and more confidence.

For me, it went :

1. Elementry school (Destroyed me)

2. High School (Constructing who I am, almost graduated)

3. And then college, where i know people will be more level headed.

Yep, I'm in University. Oddly, I feel like I've lost confidence since I got here. Academics are no problem, but I'm completely lacking in everything else.

 

[orton86]

I cant be the only person that is/has gone through this before. I have friends, many, but NO gay friends. Im way in the closet, and i play my cards well. I don't THINK anybody suspects im gay. But as of late im been feeling kind of down just because i dont really have any male friends around me that i can just talk to. I in my life have only had one openly gay friend, and i havet spoken to her for about a year , and i miss her SO much now. As of late when my friends do call me i make up some dumb excuse not to hang out with them, and they are really getting pissed at me because of it.
I don't quite know what im feeling now but i just wish it would go away.

I know exactly what you are going through. I'm there as well...

 

[luminum]

Yep, I'm in University. Oddly, I feel like I've lost confidence since I got here. Academics are no problem, but I'm completely lacking in everything else.

Yeah, it's definitely harder to make good friends in college, I feel.

I got along great with my roommate Freshman yearm though. I also do some extra curriculars so I've made a few good acquiantances and one good friend.

Try doing more stuff on campus. Get involved and volunteer to help out with stuff. Most people attend meetings, but don't do anything to help. Theones that help are few and far between and because of that, they get to know/rely on each other every time there's some event that needs people to set up or run it.