feeling like shit

[ur_hot_n_sexy_1]

i hate it when i can't figure out what the hell is going on with my life. i feel like i have no control over anything and i'm going crazy. i wish that things were better. i will never kill myself directly, but i wouldn't mind indirectly. i don't know exactly how...but all i'm saying is that over time, my body will not be able to deal with the stress, anxiety, guilt, sadness, and depression that exists in my life everyday. i wish i could find a better way to cope with everything, but i can't. a part of me wants to just get better and another part of me doesn't care anymore. i just kind of want to drink my life away or something. i really don't even know what i'm talking about anymore. i wish i did, but i don't. i've lost everything in me and there's nothing left but a body with an empty soul. i'm lost and i'm done. i guess i fulfilled all my dreams but one more quickly than i expected...and now that dream is just waiting to come true too...

 

[NongreasySweatproof]

I won't ask you what that one dream is. We all have our private thoughts and hopes. I don't know what to say, but I empathize. I'm sure you'll figure things out. Life does suck a lot of the time--often for what seems like forever. Use that dream as fuel for living.

 

[ozguy]

Life is always worth living, no matter how dark the place you are at may seem to be. Please don't give up. There are friends here you can talk to but, more importantly, professional help and counselling that is available out there. Please seek it out!

 

[rareboy]

I suggest getting out there and doing something for someone else. Volunteer to help others less fortunate than you, or work with the aged, or something. I suspect that you are so focussed on self that you are missing out on a lot of opportunities to find any true meaning in your life. You don't necessarily need to be Mother Theresa, but I'll bet you'd feel a lot better about yourself by contributing your time and experience to others and you might learn some good lessons from them.

I also recommend seeing your Doc and explaining this to him in case you have physiologically based depression and simply need to get your body chemistry back on track.

Oh yeah....and quit the booze. If you think you want to drink your life away, you are likely an alcoholic and on a sure road to self destruction.

 

[mikeiscool]

i feel the same way a lot too. i just try to realize that i am a lot more fortunate than a lot of other people, even though it is really hard to feel that way at times when life is kinda going rough. i was in counseling for a while and stopped, but sometimes i think i should go back. anyway, i hope everything works out for you and wish you the best of luck.

 

[ludolfo]

I am wary of the new agey 'think positive and everythings gonna be alright'. it MAY work for some, but not all. Theres an old Chinese saying: the right means works the wrong way for the wrong man'...?ie., we are not all the same. you cannot know my pain--actually know it, nor me you. So your solution may not necessarally work for me....etc

you know, take a child. say he was being oppressed---being bullied, so that s/he was in utter misery. the pain was all around--shame, guilt, fear, --all that awful dread. and your answer is to wake up every day and say 'this is going to be a BRILLIANT day!'---doesn't really work does it?

 

[ludolfo]

i just find it a bit phony. i personally have been through and still go through horrendous hellish experiences---feelings of crushing despair, numbness, spiritlessness.....YOU cannot KNOW what I am experiencing. thats a fact. all you can read are these words, right? so your method may not apply to me, or to ALL is what i am saying

 

[ludolfo]

Yes you have had a rough time. No i cant know what you've been through,nor you me. that is true. yes i have done what you do---have been super spositive, but from MY experience what i feel--really FEEL is UNstable---bit like on a boat?---domnt know whether yer coming or going, gravity weird. that kind of thing

also feel that this 'be positive' trip shames people from FEELING despair. it's like saying you MUST.NT feel like hell. you MUSTN'T have suicidal feelings, and most certinaly MUSTRN'T kill yourself. i find that a burden. i spent fukin ages feeling guilty for feeling like hell. when i got freedom FEEL that, it was 'better' for ME. i , like YOU, friend, is only speaking from experience!!!

 

[NickCole]

...but all i'm saying is that over time, my body will not be able to deal with the stress, anxiety, guilt, sadness, and depression that exists in my life everyday. i wish i could find a better way to cope with everything, but i can't.

Yes you can.

What's causing the stress, anxiety, guilt and sadness? If you don't know, figure it out. If you do know, change it.

i've lost everything in me and there's nothing left but a body with an empty soul.

If your soul is empty it's because you've not replenished it.

You're where you are, feeling the way you do, as a result of your choices. There were reasons you made those choices but it's obvious they didn't work for you. You can make different choices today. Do it. Call or write to the person who will fill you up, replenish you. Eat food that will make you feel nourished. Go somewhere that will spark your interest.

 

[Jay.Jay]

I also recommend seeing your Doc and explaining this to him in case you have physiologically based depression and simply need to get your body chemistry back on track.

Whilst treating clinical depression is usually more complex than taking medication, consulting a doctor about how you are feeling is a really good idea. Your post mentions quite a few symptoms used to diagnose depression, and I encourage you to get a professional opinion. If you do have a chemical imbalance in your brain, you are going to need help to address this common problem. If you're having trouble taking the step to seek professional help - and noting that you have already taken a step towards help by posting this thread - then I suggest that you talk to a friend you can trust and ask them for their opinion of whether or not you need help. An unbiased opinion from a friend who knows you may provide the perspective you need.

 

[namelessdwarf]

This reminded me of a line in a book:

"You're my soul come scavening for me, I can feel it" said the Witch. " I won't have it, i won't have it. I won't have a soul, with a soul there is everlastingness, and life has tortured me enough"